My mentality is awful.

[Meyer_Gdmnx]

Hi guys I’m 21 years old and have an anxiety disorder as well as health anxiety depression ocd. I know this isn’t necessarily an anxiety related issue or and issue at all or maybe it is I don’t know. But my self esteem is so low most of the time because what I want to do is be a comedian but I just don’t feel like I’m the kin of person who can do that. I’m not someone who has an incredible drive for success like an unquenchable thirst for it. I was never the class clown I was bullied a bit but not ridiculously heavily I would go home and cry and my brother joined in with the bullying which was just excessive name calling. At school most of my teachers said I had potential but I just never did very well I don’t know if hat was because I didn’t find it interesting or just because I’m a lazy piece of shit. Which is a common theme going on in my head. I often used to think of myself as someone who wasn’t very confident but got bullied and became funny and shifty because of it and wanted to become a comedian. I also did a drama act in front of my class and everyone laughed and told me how great it was and that’s when I really thought I wanna be a comic. But I’ve never gone to a club I don’t write every day I just think I’m lazy and worthless and don’t have the right mentality to become a comedian for a long time I wanted to move to New York or London when I was younger but now I could t think if anything worse whether that comes from anxiety I don’t know I just don’t feel like I’m the right kind of person who will ever become a success and I’ve just been kidding myself about who I actually am my whole life. I used to say that I never want the 9-5 or the white picket fence I wanna do what I love and now I do want the safe job or that’s how I feel and I truly hate that about myself (not that there’s anything wrong with having a normal 9-5 obviously) And that people lie to me about how funny I am to protect my feelings when I’m no funnier than the average person often as well when I think about myself being a successful comic I sit back and just think/feel I don’t want that I just want to do nothing I want to become a comedian to then do nothing and I just think that’s incredibly sad and pathetic. Sorry for the long post just needed to vent if anyone has any advice it would be great.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

Every comedian I’ve ever met or read a book on has had poor self-esteem and depression. It’s why the audience can feel what you’re saying.

I’m reading this and all I see is wording that talks you out of it. What if you changed the wording to positive. I don’t mean ‘oh happy day’ positive. I mean sarcastic or observational humor positive.

I accidentally got married to a con man who stole $63,000 from me 14 days after brain surgery. Truth. I can make people laugh with my dry humor and truth in my face until they’re crying.

Honestly stand in front of the mirror and get working on who your stage person is.

There’s a song by The Bare Naked Ladies called ‘I Think Never is Enough’. It fits your 9-5 theme. You’ll like it.

If you don’t try you’ll never know. Then I want an autograph.

Doaty

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Thank you for your reply it was very helpful and I’m sure you do put people in stitches I think it’s great that you turn such an awful moment into something almost positive shows how strong you are. Thank you for your reply though it was really really helpful

[lillyofthevalley37]

Get writing and get a YouTube account

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Thank you for your reply I do write and I’ve got a YouTube account just feel like nothing I do is good enough and I’m an awful person

[lillyofthevalley37 in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx]

Have you had many views?

Keep at it and awful people usually don't think that they are awful

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Oh I’m so sorry I completely miss understood I don’t post anything on YouTube but I have an account thank you for your positive reply I really appreciate it if there’s ever anything I can do for you just drop me a message

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx]

What’s YouTube account ?

[Meyer_Gdmnx in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Oh no no sorry it’s not for content like at all I just purely use it to subscribe to channels I enjoy

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Meyer_Gdmnx]

I thought I was going to see some live action! Get some practice in! How will you know if you don’t try?

I disagree about awful people sorry to say. They know they’re awful. They cultivate and grow it. They have darkness in them and they want you to free them from it. They’re called bullies. I like meeting them. I am the Great Word Ninja. It will take them two days to realize I smiled, had grandma wrinkles, talk sweet, but put them in their place kindly and swiftly. Mean people suck.