I'm new here and need to say some things

[Coheed2113]

I don't think my step-father who is the only father I know. So he is my dad. Anyways, I don't think he understands my depression or anxiety. Its been hard for me to hold a job the past couple years because I lost the only one Ive ever loved, and wanted to make it a career. My depression and anxiety have just gotten worse since then, but my Dad doesn't understand why I can't just keep a job, why do i sabotage myself? I don't try to, when my anxiety flares up I start leaving work early, with my depression I just call in sick, or make up an excuse. Eventually I'm let go because I keep doing it. I have a good work ethic too but not when i cant manage my symptoms. Truth is I'm an addict but I'm recovering so doctors wont prescribe me anything for the anxiety attacks. I understand why but that wasn't my addiction. I've tried 7 different anti depressants and the only one I felt work had side effects that weren't manageable. My dad doesn't miss work, even when sick. So he can't understand why I cant fight through it. I know this post is kind of all over the place. I just joined, I watched the third season of 13 Reasons Why, and I visited the website and found this. I think I just needed to say this, put it out there so people know. I love my dad and my entire family, and most of them understand. Can all of these issues be genetic? My biological father is an alcoholic, my mother may not admit she is depressed but she doesn't ever really leave the house and even works from home. My grandmother take Zoloft for her depression. My Aunt suffers from anxiety, and so does my sister. My brother also has depression. How can my entire family have these problems, I feel like I have a predisposition for drug abuse, alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety and panic attacks. So how do i get better? I'm a recovering addict and I had five years under my belt until two months ago, and Ive been clean again for 48 hours or so. Snorting heroin/fentanyl, whatever it was, who knows anymore. It spiraled so quickly but I'm back on the right track, I don't have cravings, just sick and will be for a few days. Its the price for all the highs ive had over the past couple months. I don't know if anyone will read this, I just needed to say it. Thank you to those who did and I hope I use this platform to continue my recovery from addiction, depression and anxiety.

[TrustnGod]

Hello Coheed2113. My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry to hear about your stepdad not really understanding your anxiety and depression as well as your job situation. But after being an addict and also having a family history of that, I’m so proud that you’re still here and taking the necessary steps to recover. I’m not on any medication but being told that I can’t go on any...I just can’t even imagine. You are so strong.

Anxiety is a crippling illness and too little people understand that. Don’t ever be hard on yourself for not being able to keep a job even with your work ethic. You’re going through so much and having anxiety and depression and the ability to function do not always mix but that’s ok. You have got to remind yourself that this too shall pass. Even if you cannot see an ending to everything, it will get better. I have to remind myself that constantly because right now, I see no light at the end of the tunnel but I refuse to give up.

I feel your pain. Those who do not have anxiety and depression will never understand it. My dad doesn’t understand anxiety whatsoever. He tells me to just stop. To calm down. To have common sense. But he doesn’t know what it’s like to be crippled by an illness that’s all in your mind. Just remember that your step dad is acting out of an ignorant mindset that he unfortunately cannot get out of unless he were to experience what you’re experiencing. So when he shows you a lack of understanding, just remind yourself that this as nothing to do with you. It is his own ignorance that is causing his reaction.

I do think that anxiety and depression can be genetic. Just like you, my family has a long history with it and I was just one of the “lucky” ones to get it too.

Welcome to our amazing support group. I hope that you receive love and support from our community and remember we are always always here. You are not alone.

~Lia

[Coheed2113 in reply to TrustnGod]

Wow thank you so much for the kind words and the support. I’m really happy to be able to talk about these things with people who understand. I don’t know who I am anymore, and I’m going to have to work harder to find myself again, I know I’m a different person then I was ten years ago, even without the drugs and whatnot I’d be different, I just don’t know who that is yet and my hope through therapy and this forum I can find that person. Thank you so much!

[Agora1]

Welcome Coheed2113 to this amazing support forum. I did read every word of your post.

You may very well be predisposed to these genetic addictions but that doesn't mean you

are given a life time sentence. You can and will overcome your issues if you work with

a professional therapist who can guide you to the right path. The men and women on

this site are very understanding, comforting and caring. As we share our life's journey

with each other, it gives us strength in knowing we are not alone. It gives us hope that

we can overcome our problems and be better for it.

I'm glad you found us Coheed. Looking forward in helping you help yourself in getting

better and going forward in life. We are only a message away xx

[Coheed2113 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you that means so much to me, I can feel the love and support. Just from the two replies, and you read every word. I enjoy writing so sometimes I can go on and on, so thank you for that and thank you for the warm welcome!