How do you all cope with all the lost time people like us never get back? I never went to a single dance in high school, never asked a girl out in person (only online dating sites)… I went through all 4 years of school without making a single friend because I just couldn’t open up no matter how much I wanted to.
It bothers me.. a lot. My nephew just started high school and he almost immediately was accepted into a group of 30 or so kids.
I am ready to move forward with my life and learn to beat back the anxiety, but I can’t help but to lament for all that lost time and all those lost opportunities. I’m only a few years away from 40, and it makes me question if it is even worth it now.. all the struggle to attempt to be “normal” when it came so easy to so many.
Anyway, I’m a bit glum this morning if you can’t tell, but I’ll be alright.
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Wabbajack
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It might seem difficult but you need to look forward and not in the past. Unfortunately for people like us who have anxiety we will always dwell on the past and only fret over the future. That’s where anxiety gets us in a loop. Bad past must mean bad future!!! We really need to believe that our future will be better than our past. My past was not a good one and my future is not looking too good for me right now.
I had everything I ever wanted up until early last year. I got convicted of a crime that I didn’t remember committing due to drug addiction. Now I have nothing, I live in emergency accommodation, I am unemployed, and now I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety along with other health problems.
I don’t think I will be able to get a job because of this, so my future is not looking good.
I’m sorry man. I truly hope things take a turn for the better for you soon. Addiction is a hell of a thing. Breaking one is a big accomplishment in and of itself.
The group I was in at school was worse than the geek group, worse than the emo/goth group. The group I was in consisted of 2 ginger guys (me being one) a fat foreigner and a guy with one leg shorter than the other.
It's ok to mourn the loss of younger you. The grieving process doesn't necessarily have to mean a literal death. I'm saying this because I just posted to another site about going through this EXACT thing.
I think I'm going through the grieving process of letting the Old Me die so that the New Improved Version of Me can emerge.
So I GET what you're thinking about. Age is irrelevant. I'm almost 49 and I'm more excited about my future than I've ever been! The gift is the process itself. gaining awareness for your accomplishments and goals is a huge step forward to making meaningful changes. You're not really being glum this morning... you're being very insightful and honest with yourself.
Normal is relative. Discover what your OWN version of "nOrM@L" looks like & i promise you WILL be Happie!😜❤️🩹🍀
Oh you are still so young, please don’t waste the years you have, life is so short we must try to make the best of it, as someone of 75 I try to live each day and not dwell to much on the past .
Your nephew has social media, also kids today are under a lot of pressure to be popular. He may know30 people and still be lonely. It's not the quantity but the characteristic quality of those friends. You are still young; you can still go out & dance; I understand you have social anxiety. There must be a group like this one strictly for people with social anxiety. I would try to meet someone there since we would be kindred spirits. Perhaps we could do all the things our social anxiety kept us from doing all of these years, together! 😃
I can relate, I would do things totally differently if I could do it over again, I would've had a completely different group of friends for starters. The thing is I couldn't at that time, there's so many things I just wasn't ready for. It seems easy to look back now but when we were in it we all did the best we could. I didn't have anyone showing me the way, it's a miracle that I knew I had to change and slowly build a whole new life, it's taken a long time and a lot of effort
I know your story well because I lived it too. I never went to prom. Never went highschool as a matter of fact. By that time my anxiety was so bad I had to be home schooled. So I missed the milestones that people should experienced. Like prom, homecoming, getting a license at 16 etc.
But in the end I can't change the past, I can only move forward. I learned that I'm in no competition with anybody else. We all do things at our own time. Some people failed their driving test a several times. I got my license at 24 and past it on the first try. Never went to prom but I got to be maid of honor at my friend's wedding.
I made friends online that I'm still friends with till this day 18+ yrs later. I made acquaintances at school. But never had true connections. It took me to be out of school to make real friends. And meet like minded people. I've actually met these friends in real life.
Now I've had a setback with my anxiety and I'm trying to get back to me again. Once I do, I don't miss the so called things people talk about. I have created some fun experiences of my own. And I will create more. 🫂❤️
What one does is face one’s anger and grief about the loss. For me, 20 years older than you, that’s project #1 because it has built up to be a major barrier. And most of it is anger at myself, for not overcoming the situation.
This is magical thinking on my part. If we could have done differently, we would have. So forgiveness and acceptance is what I need. Hope you forgive yourself (and any others) too.
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