Some days are worse than other

[JapaneseFuton]

I hate to admit it but loneliness is terrible for a very social person with ADHD. I’m divorced, don’t feel connected to people where I live and my grown kids live far. I can’t afford to move where I’d like and there is no solution. I don’t feel like I’m living, just surviving from days to day. I’ve tried the medication route but I need to just risk homelessness and move. I have to figure out where I can find a roommate like me. I can’t feel better alone.

[Tillyray]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling,I know what it feels like..

It isn't at all easy to try to change a situation sometimes, and when you're already feeling down it's even harder to do, but sometimes feeling down can be caused by the situation. Its a catch 22..

It sounds that you know you should make changes to your life, but feel that your present circumstances make this hard to achieve. Sometimes a big change can't happen overnight for whatever reason, or it can be just too overwhelming. So maybe little steps you can take straight away to feel better will help towards your ultimate goal- if moving is it- and this will be achievable and easier for you to manage right now....

As a sociable person you have an advantage, and now that your family are grown you could find a new lease of life by doing different things, for you. Perhaps begin by attending a social group or two in or around your area. It would allow you to connect with others and make new friends, and who knows where this could lead. It will require effort at first, but once you start to go, you'll have a purpose and start to feel better, and alive again.. You may even discover you dont have a desire to relocate, as often it can just be the change in ourselves that's needed..

I know people always say ' get out and do things', but however you choose to do this it will help I promise... Take a small step right away towards a positive change. Find a group you can go to, or using your sociable skills I bet you could even set one up yourself.. I wish you all the very best xx

[JapaneseFuton in reply to Tillyray]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. xx. Sometimes finding the right medication balance for pain will help with the psychological. Write me any time you’d like to talk.

[Tillyray in reply to JapaneseFuton]

I understand what you mean about pain, I have to deal with pain everyday too and it certainly takes over when its not under control. As much as I hate taking medication I find I have to in order to have a quality of life, and when it works it definitely makes a difference. I hope you can find something that works for you, just keep trying things and you'll get there.. Message me any time.. Sincere best wishes xx

[All_alone]

Hi! How are you doing today? My day has not been very good. I did make myself go out to grab something to eat. It gets me out of the house for a little while. Hugs coming your way!!

[JapaneseFuton]

I lost an aunt this week so I’ve been depressed but I’m doing better today with some dark chocolate which gives me a boost. Thanks for asking . I hope things are going better for you.

[All_alone in reply to JapaneseFuton]

I'm sorry for your loss. Did she live close or far away? I've never been a fan of dark chocolate. Lol. I prefer white or milk chocolate myself . Things are about the same for me. I've not done much in the last three days.

[Tillyray in reply to JapaneseFuton]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope you're ok xx

[Kayakin]

Hi JapaneseFuton,

I have found out about being in an area where I do not feel connected to people. It can be difficult in a rural area. There are not even any Meetup groups here. Hope you can find the connections you are looking for there, or get where you can find them.

[Tillyray in reply to Kayakin]

Hi. I hope you're ok. I too can totally understand how it feels with living in a rural area. It's beautiful where I am but I am isolated and I don't have any connections with the people here.

I have my own routines which get me through the days. Although I have often preferred my own company, I find I do even more so now which may have increased due to the isolation and just having to adapt. It isn't always easy and I feel the disconnection. I know I need to try and change this. For now I'm working on myself as I've lost confidence and have anxiety issues. I'm being kind to myself and I'm on a learning journey without pressures, its all helping. I hope you can find something to make everything seem better for you.

Best wishes xx

[JapaneseFuton]

Meetup was a huge part of my cultural experiences on the west coast and I miss it terribly. Social life here is either at bars or churches and seems to attract extremes unlike anything I’m used to.

I also have social anxiety. I enjoy being in the company of people but only from a distance when we have few commonalities. I find that most people do not understand feeling very lonely while also fearing the closeness of others (due to past negative experiences).

[Tillyray]

Hi. I hope you're doing ok. I can understand how you must be feeling. I live in a rural village and as beautiful as it is, I have no connections here. I have occasional communication with my few friends via text or letter. My grown-up family have their own family's and I rarely see them. My lovely young adult son lives with me, he also has the same hereditary condition. It's not always easy but we muddle along..

Although my personality has always needed me to spend time alone to reflect and recharge, I have had close people connections and enjoyed social groups etc. Over the years I have felt very isolated, and when my health condition caused a disability a few years ago I felt so alone. It instigated a long period of depression for the first time...

I gradually recovered from the depression and I can now spot-I hope- what the triggers are. It taught me a lot. I manage my anxieties as best as I can, but I also have social anxiety which I know keeps me from things..

Because I have felt unsupported during my worse times, it meant I've had to gain great personal strength to cope and get me through, and so now I rely only on myself. I no longer reach out to friends and family as I once did.. I am grateful for my connections on health unlocked for emotional support and helpful advice...

I have now adapted to my circumstances and situation. I do all the things I need to do to keep ok, I read self-help, meditate, practice mindfulness and tapping. I just take it one day at a time with no pressures. I am learning everyday and moving forward one small step at a time. I find the best thing for me is to have a daily plan of an activity-something to do in the home or a walk etc- a 'happy plan',and for the times when I need my 'Comfort plan' I have what helps me then; in my bedroom snuggled up with cats watching my go-to dvd.

Don't put yourself under any pressure, just gradually work towards what you're wanting, and try to find something good in everyday..Sincere best wishes xx