im going downhill

[sarah56]

i had goodluck today, but i feel like somethings gonna go wrong and im gonna be blamed for it whether or not i did it. this is the 2nd time that ive had a mental breakdown and a anxiety time at the same time. none of my family understands. i feel like its my fault and i think crying helps. but it never does

[Almond88]

Hi sarah56, gosh I'm sorry you are going through this. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel something wrong is going to happen and you'll be blamed for it. I feel I have people and situations that trigger this feeling, and work, colleagues and my boss are definitely triggers.. Whether I think of them or I go to work or hear from my boss. I've handed in a 3 month notice at work but my doctor advised me to leave because I keep feeling unwell... But still have to go through a medical board who is going to assess me.. So super stressful... I just can't wait to be free of them.

But in saying that I find what helps me is when people assure me that I am in control. And that its OK if people think of you a certain way or blame you. That's their stuff. You know your truth.

My boyfriend and therapist said to me I'm not a little girl, and my work place or family don't own me, I'm allowed to make decisions for myself, even if they are wrong. It for me to make as its my life. I just can't get over this feeling that I am going to get in trouble because someone doesn't like me. It's so weird. Silly, but such a reality for me.

Sorry if my reply is all over the place. Thank u for sharing that.

[muddypawz1 in reply to Almond88]

I feel exactly the same! Like if I make one little mistake and my boss points it out I’ll spiral down and back to staying in the bedroom I go.

[Almond88 in reply to muddypawz1]

Exactly how I feel. But it's so amazing that when I do get in touch with my self worth once in a while, at those points I don't feel like I am affected. I've decided that's priority for me.. To start working at loving myself as I am.. And filling my life with people and things that affirm this. I think breathing with gentle yoga also puts me in touch with this lovingness

[sarah56 in reply to muddypawz1]

thank you, i just thought i was going crazy

[sarah56 in reply to Almond88]

that’s fine, i understand