Today I had to go to an Urgent Care Medical Center type place to get a drug screen for a new job. While there, my husband & I decided that he will get checked out again to see if there was anything they can do for his Pleurisy since he was still suffering from so much pain, can't breathe too good, & now barely sleeps.
When my husband was at the ER last Friday, they did do X-rays & found nothing which is why they said that it may just be something viral. Today while we were with the Doctor, she asked if they did a CT Scan, my husband told her no. When they took them X-rays they found no blood clot. The doctor said that she wanted him to now go for now because she believes he might have one & a CT scan will certainly show it. My husband didn't feel like going to another hospital today & wait again for hours to get a test taken. He's too stubborn. I do plan on calling his primary doctor on Monday morning. The second that they're open! Hopefully, I will be able to just see if his doctor can give my husband a script to get the CT Scan without having to see him.
In the meantime, I am straight back where I was on Friday night when I got his call when he was in the ER room, telling me that the ER doctor thought that he might have a blood clot. Freaking out & scared to death that at some point I might lose him like I did my mother. My mother died of heart failure from a blood clot. I already feel the pains in my chest & my breathing getting bad. I hate it so much. I am worried about our children. I know how it feels to lose a parent. I lost both of mine within a year & a half apart from each other. It's the worse feeling ever & I truly believe that our daughter will not be able to handle it.
I am deathly scared. I HAVE to keep myself together for my kids until my husband is out of the woods with this. Until I know that he's going to actually be okay. Right now it is truly so much of myself to keep it together. It's the hardest thing for me to do, especially since I already am suffering from a serve case of depression, anxiety, and whatever mental illness... I've always put all of myself into holding myself together for everyone here in our house. But I honestly don't know how long I can do this right now. I just don't know. My kids need their father & uncle & I need my husband.