Victimhood or victim mentality

[Firebirdseal1963]

As a father of a child who suffers from this dreadful mental condition I wanted to offer the following advice: don’t play the victim to circumstances you created

[Keepmoving71]

And as a father you should know that your child cannot be held responsible for the actions he may or may have taken when he was in this disease cut your child of break give him a hug tell him you love him ,,

Judging your child that has mental illness is one of the worst things you could ever do for their state of Mental Health you be there cheerleader that's your job so everybody makes mistakes you think people with mental illness aren't going to make much worse ones who are you to judge?

have a great day

[Stilltrying_]

Are you serious? That is the most prejudiced comment I have ever heard from someone who is a so called "caregiver". Can I suggest you think about changing your own attitude?

It is such a ridiculous statement that I wonder if you are in fact depressed yourself and seeking help in a roundabout way as you obviously have immense anger issues.

[Keepmoving71]

Oh and depression the majority of the time is not related to your circumstances is related to the brain being out of balance so don't say your child created his own depression that's another thing you're going to mess up his head if you love your kid just keep those comments to yourself and say things like is there anything I can do for you today

would you

like to go do something how can I help you to feel better today would you like to go exercise come on use your common sense he or she may say no a million times but you never stop trying people with depression often get neglected emotionally and mentally because others don't understand take it from the people in here that understand your child will resent you someday if you don't support him or her the way they need and you will only prolong the illness As You Are creating more stress and pressure on your child

[Firebirdseal1963 in reply to Keepmoving71]

With every offer of help or a dozen ideas provided in response to requested advice are the equal number of excuses of why “ I can’t do it because....”. After 20 years of understanding, love, advice with and perpetual resistance to each of them what’s left?

[AuntBee]

Firebird I feel for you. I understand your heavy heart that wants so much to fix your child, to make things better, to take away the wall that stands in their way. I would say to you continue providing a loving space for your child. I think maybe working hard at accepting that you have no control over it can help you. Being a caregiver to someone with mental health issues is an extremely tiring job mentally. But today I want you to focus on the fact that your child is alive, that he/she has not given up. This is the positive for today.

[Magicdreamer]

I'm a sufferer of victim mentality and I feel desperate to my core when I realise I'm the only one that can make myself happy. I'm 44 years old and adopted this from my mother. All her beliefs and my upbringing has now made me a victim to these thought patterns. A child is not born with victim mentality, they learn it. These last few days I've realised that I need to take steps to defeat this and change the way I think and it's terrifying. The desperation feeling that I feel is so uncomfortable that I feel like I'm literally going to die. If there was one wish I could have had from my parents, was to be loved as I was but that thought alone is futile. If I could go back and be there for my children now knowing what I'm suffering from, I would do everything in my power to get them to therapy and help them help themselves. I'm in a position now where I'm relying solely on myself and trusting that whoever comes in my path is there to help guide me to the next step. I've always been afraid to ask for help because of my past experiences... It's okay to speak up about how you feel. Try not feed the victimisation but reach for compassion and ask your child as many questions about what's bothering them with no judgement which means you'll need to practice discernment. It's not easy. It's one day at a time. Help them help themselves. ❤️