Shame

[Magicdreamer]

So, this morning I finally got to the root cause of what I've been doing emotionally.... Thank God I have the book from Teal Swan on the Anatomy of Lonilness and I'm able to join the dots. I've spent most of this morning up to the afternoon wondering what that feeling of heavy blocked stone is inside my chest area along with that fluctuating quickness of the heart (best way I can describe how it feels).... So, I sat and started tmy breathing technique while being with the sensations in my body. Then I started the conversation with myself to get an understanding. It became quite tense so I lay down and was 100% unconditionally present with this slow moving energy but heavy..... I then saw a vision of a window and a child writing on a huge piece of paper against the wall which I immidately depicted as 'the writing's on the wall'..... I have written down some short term goals to get me going which goes hand in hand.... Then I felt rather tired so I went to lay down again and even though I was laying on my side I started to really focus on what was going on in my chest area..... It's shame (the primary emotion) and then I got an immidate response that defensiveness was the secondary emotion which has been suppressed through not understanding while being present with it. I react to it but when I'm in stillness with it, its been kinda hard to depict. Another emotion I've been feeling a lot of lately is discouragement which is also a secondary emotion to shame. I feel very self conscious about moving forward in fear of rejection which ultimately is shame. I also feel embarrassed a lot and shy which also forms part of shame. I'm proud of myself for this breakthrough because now when I feel the body do what it's being doing, I can detect it so as not to react to it.... It takes practice but the main thing is I'm feeling relieved. As soon as I recognised it, it lost power over me so now I'm feeling rather light. Whew!

[Michdau1]

That's great 👍👍👍