Freaking out

[Dreamie]

I’m in the midst of fear and anxiety. Need to get perspective. Right now I am freaking for a million and one reasons. But I know somewhere deep down things are not as my mind is making them out to be. It hurts so bad to be inside me right now. I’m trying to get a grip. Here is what I have to be thankful for. A home even though it’s a disaster. My children even though they are no longer living with me. My job even though I’m so afraid I’ll do something stupid and lose it. My health even though I smoke and don’t take care of myself. My husband even though he is so negative and often makes me feel depressed and like hiding. See! I see the good but I am putting a “but” with them all. They’re all mixed blessings. I’m about to jump out of my skin!!! Ranting I know. Sorry.

[brokenlight]

It’s good to talk about it all.

Glad you’re here ✨

[Hidden]

i know life is hard, the problem is worrying something something negative is going to happen when in all intents and purposes everything is pushing you along, just fine. If you worry to much that on its own can make us accident prone or making some worries and concerns self fulfilling, we then become a victim of our own concerns.

Life is complex enough without making matters worse, when things are ticking over be thankful and get on with your life and look for those pleasures afforded to you by your family and friends. Yes life can be full of negativity, although remember worry generally is counterproductive. Also self fulfilling. Enjoy the positive and keep the negative filed away. Enjoy

BOB

[Btdtx3]

Hi Dreamie--I felt exhausted just reading all those thankfuls!! Is it possible to sit down and do a pro and con about your life!! Then write down what you would like to ask a Dr. Sometimes we need medication to connect the dots and clear up the buts so you can either change things or not. Maybe it will help stop you arguing with yourself. We are always our most critical judges!! We can't change things or decide things until we are thinking clearly!! Give yourself a break--you posted on here to get ideas---that was a good decision!! You'll get it!!!

[Magicdreamer]

I understand exactly how you feel. I feel sad and depressed because everybody I've ever loved is not with me. Thank you for the post.

[majolie]

Hi Dreamie,

It's great that at least you are recognizing all the blessings in your life, even with the "buts". Life isn't perfect. I hope I'm not going out on a limb here, but you kinda sound like me, wanting everything perfect. It leaves me with so much disappointment, which then leads to bitterness and resentment. I've had to work HARD to conquer this tendency, and it'll be a lifelong battle, but I do see progress.

One thing I learned was to look at what my expectations are. Once I could see a pattern that I expected more than was reasonable out of a person (especially my husband) or a situation, I was able to become more realistic. My husband is the opposite of me...he sets low expectations, which means he is constantly delighted at how often things turn out way better! I'm not saying that setting low expectations is the answer, but there's probably a middle ground in there somewhere.

Some things you have NO control over, such as how others act or treat you. These are the things we have to accept with grace, take a deep breath when something happens that isn't what I hoped for, and open my hand and let it go.

Other things you DO have control over, such as your home or your health. You said your home is a disaster. Do you mean messy? dirty? cluttered? in need of repair? All of these things require work but they ARE do-able. Take one little thing at a time and chip away at it. You can't make your home go from "disaster" to "beautiful and wonderful" overnight, but each day you have a choice to do one thing or do no-thing.

Then there's your health. You may be healthy now, but smoking will catch up with you. I'm an RN, and I've seen my mom go thru throat cancer after smoking for 50 years, and I've seen many patients' lives ruined by the consequences of smoking. Again, you have a choice. I know it's hard to quit, but you CAN do it if you set your mind to it.

As far as worrying that you'll do something stupid at work, well, what if you do? We all screw up. The worst that can happen is that if you do, and you get fired, there are thousands of other jobs out there, and it's not the end of the world.

The one thing that has helped me the most with anxiety and that "freaking out" feeling is my relationship with Christ. He calms me, gives me peace that surpasses understanding, gives me the right perspective on who I am in His eyes (so precious and valuable, yet prone to weakness and messing up, which is why I need His help), and teaches me His wisdom that I can apply to any situation, whether it's relationships, money, attitude, etc. I pray a lot and read scripture to gain wisdom and stay on track.

Take a deep breath. Sit with the fact that you have much to be thankful for (and you are!), and that you have the ability to change certain things and accept others for what they are. Decide now on ONE THING you can do to make today better. Every single day, you can do one thing to make today better than yesterday. You can do it.

[Dreamie in reply to majolie]

I appreciate your response. I think maybe I would benefit from setting the bar on stuff a little lower sometimes. Especially when I am not feeling my best. I do often cry out to the Lord in my pain and suffering. And though I still.suffer deeply sometimes I believe it is God who pulls me through and gives me back hope every time. I know a lot better than I do a lot of time. I appreciate the gentle reminders and encouragement Thank you 💗