SIMPLE QUESTION. WHY DO WE TELL LIES ?

[TriggerPoint]

I Don't Know About You. But I HATE Myself When I Lie. I Battle Within Myself & Feel AWFUL Because Many Lies I Tell Are Just Exaggerations Of Stories & I'm Like, WHY Did I Add Stuff Needlessly ?

Ever Felt That Way ?

[hypercat54]

That's not lying but embellishing. Everyone does that sometimes. x

[TriggerPoint in reply to hypercat54]

It Still Feels Like Lying....What Was I Doing Then ? Creative Drama ? Was I Trying In Some Selfish Way To Be Impressive ?...It Makes Me Feel Awful... I'd Never Lie [ as far as i know ] To Hurt Someone or/ Someone's Reputation....But It Still Feels Just As Bad To Me....

Thanks For Responding My Friend...Truly, Thank You. I Really Needed To Hear From Someone.....

[hypercat54 in reply to TriggerPoint]

Does it really matter? So you are a good storyteller and we all try and impress sometimes. If you feel uncomfortable then don't do it but we all have egos which needs stroking from time to time. I never lie either - well only little white lies usually about things that don't matter or to save someones feelings. x

[kenster1]

all of us tell lies at some point big or small and even dramatize things like it sounds you have.

[IChoose]

You are good enough just as you are, and so the truth is good enough just as it is. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. If you feel like what you're about to say is a grey area in terms of is it truth, take a moment of self restraint in your speech and just plain tell what you know to be true, albeit gently. Then again, silence can be golden when we can't really speak the truth in love.

I know someone who for all I know lies compulsively or pathologically. It has really eroded my ability to trust this person. And, trust me, people do find out when you've lied. People regardless of how naive do catch on.

You want people with whom you are in relationship, regardless of the kind, to know that try can always trust you, yes?

If you feel safe to do so, ask a Catholic priest. If you're Catholic, take the matter to confession and ask if you would benefit from counseling/therapy.

It's really on your conscience, which is so beautiful. You don't want to deceive people - so of course, yes, you can stop the lying anytime, but you may need a lot of support to know why you do it and to be at peace with yourself and others. To have that breakthrough into a bold new life with a clear conscience and healthy self esteem.

God bless you on your journey!

[TriggerPoint in reply to IChoose]

Thank You~*

[Hidden]

Good thing you are aware of this. You can change it. You want to be real. Koodos to you

[TriggerPoint in reply to Hidden]

Thank You....I Do Want To Be Honest Always....

[Hidden in reply to TriggerPoint]

my brother use to lie about everything, he was always so caught up in his lies he would lie on top of lies. I still loved him, but ahhahah it was annoying and funny cause wtf, i am not stupid. he would tell people him and i were twins ahahahah

[Want2BHappy3]

We lie for different reasons, to not hurt someone's feelings, etc. I HATE lying, people HATE my honesty, like today I walked out of Walmart without paying for a item. I went back to pay for it, the clerk seemed surprised? It's comes from when I was young, I was afraid of being punished by my mom and GOD. I have such a Guilty conscious conscious that when I have lied, I beat myself up Real Bad. It's not to get away with anything, but to Not disappointe anybody.

[TriggerPoint in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I Know How You Feel.... Thank You*

[marheart]

Whenever we greet someone we are setting ourselves up for a lie.

They say "hi, how are you"? I reply with the same words. The other person really doesn't want a list of my problems and I don't want to hear about their troubles.

Our society sets us up to lie right away.

There must be an answer that would be more acceptable and easier to handle.

How about "Hi, nice to see you" Sounds like another lie.

Or " I'm fine and how about you?"

Suggestions anyone?

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to marheart]

I know what you are saying but the expectation should never be literal when u r talking to a stranger. When someone says how are you? You're not supposed to say " Oh Im ok but Im in debt up to my eyeballs ...lol or whatever big issue people might have. To my best friend I would tell her everything. " I feel like crap. I have a headache...whatever it is.

You say " nice to see you" when u mean it.

If it's a stranger I would respond the same. "Im good. How are you" It's the same as saying "hi" to someone. You are basically acknowledging their existence.

It's basically a social cue.

[marheart in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Saying I feel good is usually a lie.

"Good to see you" could be a lie too.

When introduced to someone new on the scene we say "It's good to meet you" or later "It was good to meet you".

Add those to the pile of lies we don't want to say or hear, especially when anxiety is really in control of the feelings.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to marheart]

No I disagree. They are not lies. You've never met people you were pleased to meet?

[marheart in reply to Sunnidayz1]

My question does not mean it's for every greeting. It's so common now that we automatically ask and reply with a positive "great" or "fine".

The point to discuss here is there must be a neutral response which will satisfy us to respond and satisfy the listener so they don't have to dig deeper and hear problems.

I try to mix it up by pointing out and discussing that beautiful jacket, etc.,when possible. Or the weather or whatever. I've asked several Drs. if they know of a generic greeting that works for people with health issues like anxiety disorders. They looked at me in shock. Those Drs. never gave it any thought.

They walk into exam room and ask "Hi, how are you?" They don't want a dump truck full of complaints. They just don't know what else to say.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to marheart]

I do agree with you. It's just a social cue. You are not supposed to say how you are truly feeling, it's not socially acceptable.

Im trying to come up w another example but nothing comes to mind.

[lottiejemma]

Oh Trigger, I think we all feel like adding a piece here and there to a story, yes lying is wrong, but -- TO ERR is HUMAN ---- TO FORGIVE DIVINE, so lets all forgive OURSELVES, WHEN WE EXARRGUATE , AS SOMETIMES --- WE ALL DO. it would be wonderful to be perfect, but not in this world brother. love you , you are an encourager, helper, and so full of understanding, take care --- Lottie

[TriggerPoint in reply to lottiejemma]

Thank You.... I WISH I Was Perfect...But I'm Not. I Am A Very Loving & Caring Person...BUT ? As You Can See My Friend. I Am Honest & Have Been Open On This Site.... It's Great To Know We ALL Can Be, & We're Not Alone......

Thank God For This Site.....

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to TriggerPoint]

Nobody is perfect TriggerPoint: not on this site and not in the whole world. Everyone has insecurities and things they would like to change about themselves. We all do the best that we can with the cards that we've been dealt.