One simple question.

[God-sFavourite]

To the people who have been through my journey on health unlocked, might get straight what I'm about to ask. To the ones who don't, it will be better if you read my last 2-3 posts atleast to understand where I'm coming from.

I just want to ask one simple question, how do you find the courage to distance yourself from the people you love (in my case, my family)?

They have done a lot for me, sometimes out of love, courtesy, force or stereotypes. But they have. I can't forget that. But considering the daily scenario and the situations that are being created, is it fare to sacrifice myself for that?

I don't think that anything ever is going to change, even if I die. I feel like committing suicide sometimes but whenever I get this thought, one thing runs through my mind, for these people? They won't even mourn after 2-3 days 😂

I aspire to live, fully, the life I aspire for.

[Dolphin14]

It's nice to see you. I have followed your story and it parallels my own quite a bit.

I had to save myself. No one else was going to do that for me. I weighed pro's and con's and I left.

I've separated from the last of my siblings. I'm not going to live my life under a critical microscope.

Every family is different just as every person is unique. Maybe first step is boundary setting? If someone continues to disrespect you and cause you pain you have to decide what's best for you

Peace

🐬

[God-sFavourite in reply to Dolphin14]

Well put. I'll keep this in mind while executing the thought that's already been running through.

[Hidden]

Hi God-sFavourite, I was in a similar situation years ago where I was faced with the choice of maintaining the status quo with family members and continuing to live a life of misery that did not feel genuine to me, or break free of everyone who was not serving me well. I’m not sure how I found the courage to back away and leave, but I did. I believe that my deep desire to be free probably motivated my courage. We cannot chose our family but we can chose what’s best for our life whether they are in it or not. Leaving them and taking a different path was the right choice as ultimately we are responsible for our own peace of mind. As a side note: I now have a good relationship my family however this would not have been the case had I not left them to take a step back for me. Think of you. Your happiness and peace needs to come first. The rest will sort itself out. Best wishes to you.

[God-sFavourite in reply to Hidden]

I relate to the dilemma that you might have been through while putting up yourself first, unlike what we are taught, especially being a woman. However, I don't think that I'll ever be the 'respected person' in my family once I take this step. Having said that, I still am not and I'm losing that respect with every passing moment despite doing nothing.

So yeah, when it's a 'lose and lose' situation both way, why not put myself first then!

I may lose my family completely but I'll live at some peace, probably.

This is the least I can expect. Rest, what God and life unfolds!

[Hidden in reply to God-sFavourite]

I think families tend to take each other for granted. We are too close to each other and lose our perspective. Perhaps this leads to feeling disrespected. But without your own sense of self respect, they will continue to disappoint you. Walking away from them is the best thing you could do for yourself and your relationship with them. Absence makes the heart grow fonder anyway. Or at least it did in my case. They will respect you more for taking charge of your own life, it just may take them some time to get used to the new you! Love yourself, be free of them, and let time heal it all. I pray that you will take this leap of faith! You will not be sorry. 💛

[God-sFavourite in reply to Hidden]

I have given a lot of chances to my own self and my family. Lately, I have come to a conclusion that some things are beyond repair. No matter how much you try, there is something that you are ought to leave.

As far as the current scenario is considered, it is only me who is trying to change in order to absorb myself within the family, in order to adsorb stuff out there refraining to react. But this change doesn't last long. I lose my patience. Maybe because everybody out there just keeps on checking my patience.

What I have observed now is that they know my trigger points. So in order to frame me for every situation, they start with attacking me straight either directly or indirectly in a more sarcastic way. If I go par that, keeping in my patience, they press on the trigger and keep on doing so until I lose.

There have been times that I have succeeded in keeping calm but gradually in the next 2-3 days I lose.

To much of my surprise, I still don't understand to why it started off in the first place. I don't understand why I'm a villain in my own family where I'm posed as a glorified person outside and shamed inside the house.

[Hidden]

It seems to me that you have come the conclusion that it IS time to move on. There is no point in continuing to suffer trying to understand why your family acts the way they do. I tried to do this as well but it proved pointless. They weren’t going to change and I didn’t want to live surrounded by all their pressures. Sounds like your family is constantly triggering you and yes, some days you can be strong, but eventually they will break your spirit and you will never be able to leave and be free of the toxicity. Don’t worry what they, or anyone else thinks of you. You seem like a beautiful person who deserves a life of peace and happiness. Go for it!! I’m rooting for you! 👍💛

[God-sFavourite in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for putting in this confidence in me while you barely know me. Words can really do wonders. It has been a long battle that has been going on within the body and the mind in the form of depression and anxiety. All of these circumstances and surroundings, adds up to it.

So yes, I want to free myself from it now.

Having said that, I know it isn't as easy as it seems while writing. It will take me some time to get the guilt out but I will do it since I have made up a decision.

The almightly has been really kind to me and I hope I will find the courage to choose the right path.

Amen 🙏

[Hidden in reply to God-sFavourite]

I’m so happy to hear this. Hold tight to that faith. It will guide you in the right direction. Always hear if you need a little push to start your new journey. 🙏💛