Feeling lifeless

[paintingwords]

Hi. I just graduated so I'm extremely free right now. I promised myself to take a break and work on my mental and physical health after I finish college. After spending a week without getting out of my house and watching Netflix all day and night, I realized that I won't be able to truly relax unless I have plan for what happens after the break. So I decided to work on that.

But I'm just not able to get myself to do anything. I just feel so tired and sleepy all the time. I eat and drink enough as well. But I just am not able to open my laptop, let alone think, research, and make decisions. At night I feel extremely anxious when I try to sleep early. I tried talking to a friend, but I can't do that every night right.

I don't know why I feel like that. I don't know why I feel so nervous and anxious and have no energy to do anything. Is it the depression seeping it's way in? am I having an episode? But I do feel okay from time to time. I know my family is also judging me on my sleep behavior. They know my history with mental health but no one would ever bring it up. I don't know what to do. I usually am a productive person. But I just feel too life less. What should I do?

[Hidden]

sitting around gets you tired and sleepy you need to burn energy to create larger amounts of it.

get out and do things with yourself...its got nothing to do with depression, this would happen to anyone who lives like this. forget the laptop and make yourself move.

[paintingwords in reply to Hidden]

I try but I feel energyless. My head aches. I checked out a gym as well but the thought of having to go out gets me anxious and my heart starts palpitating.

I know people often use as an excuse depression casually, but I'm not. I used to feel similar when I had depressive episodes in the past.

I know I'm supposed to go out. I had that information already. Thank you for responding.

[Hidden in reply to paintingwords]

go out for 5 minutes, then add more time each day...

[Dahlia36]

I can completely relate to this! Especially the part about spending time inside and watching Netflix all day and night and simply not feeling like doing anything. The fact that you’ve identified that you can’t relax until you have a plan for the future is a step in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up for what you haven’t done yet. After all the hard work it took to graduate maybe we both needed a week of nothing but Netflix 😁 Since you know you’ll feel better after having a plan I’d say try to take baby steps to do what you know will make you feel better EVEN though you DON’T feel like it. Don’t try to tackle the plan for the future all at once because that can be overwhelming. Instead try to break it up into smaller steps. I know it’s easier said than done. I think it will help you feel less anxious at night if you accomplish small steps during the day. I also eat melatonin gummies that I bought from the dollar tree and they help a lot. Today even though I don’t feel like it, I’m going to make myself get out of the apartment because I know it will be good for me. I hope this helps. Be gentle with yourself. I know I feel guilty for being unmotivated and that’s self destructive. Again, easier said than done, but don’t be so hard on yourself.

[paintingwords in reply to Dahlia36]

Hey Dahlia36! Thank you so much for responding. Your reply really helped.

And yes college was crazy amount of work. I feel I haf also developed the habit of working on something or the other in the present or looking forward to doing something in future which is why being completely free is weird.

Also, yes the guilt has been killing me. You're right it is very self destructive. And I know what I ought to do. But I get so overwhelmed even thinking about it that I keep pushing it, especially now that I can with all the free time.

And I know what you're saying, my mind knows that I will feel good when I go out, meet people (from experience) but it still refuses to do those things. Today I slept/laid in bed so much all day that my head was aching due to oversleeping.

I'll listen to you and take baby steps. Will try doing little little every day. Thank you for you response again

[Kat63]

Finishing your education is a huge, momentous part of your life. Everybody’s always so happy about it, but for me, it was one of the worst times of my life. I was so used to school and family, and totally unprepared for the next part of life. In fact, the crazy, weird feelings I had after finishing college were what first took me into therapy.

[paintingwords in reply to Kat63]

I get it. I don't even feel that something big has happened. Also, ya, I got pretty used to the life at hostel as well. Coming back home feels weird. The stress at my college made my mental health worse. But this super aimless free state is not great for my anxiety either.

Thanks for responding Kat. Always open to chat if you want to talk about your feelings. Best luck

[Esther228]

First, I am so excited for you! Congratulations on your accomplishment! Graduation must have made you feel so good. It takes a lot of determination and fortitude to finish what you start. And you did it!! That is awesome.

My husband and I, both had stressful jobs and it took a while for us to decompress once we retired. It was such a shift for us not to be in such a hurry. We were also so used to being pressed for time and having a full agenda every day. We gave ourselves time to relax and decide what we were going to do next. Do you think that it may be normal for the body to be making this adjustment? I wonder if any of your friends are going through the same thing?

I pray that you start to feel better, have more energy, and that a plan falls into place for the next part of your life.