I hate the month of May..

[ShesNumb]

Since I was thirteen things have always been tough. I lost my grandma and my family never recovered. My mother threw herself into work and school. She was always gone and it left me to figure things out for myself. I was always bullied by neighbors kids because I was small and my brother followed suite. I guess it was easier to join others than stick with me and be bullied. We wound up homeless couch sufing right out of high school. She then got sick and we spent 10 yrs in & out of hospital until her death. She never told me who my dad was and now I’m alone it’s the 11 yr anniversary of me finding her stroked out at her home. Why can’t I get past this pain? I miss her so much but I’m also so upset that she left me alone this way. Not knowing my dad and knowing how my brother was. I’ve struggled with being assulted and then finding out couldn’t conceive leaves me feeling lost and broken. I’m almost forty now so I’m even more conflicted if I decided to get treatment or adopt I’m not sure it would be right. My grandma and mom died early so if I had a baby I’m afraid I’d leave him or her the way I was left early. I’d never was anyone to feel the way I feel. Help.

[hypercat54]

Hi I guess you could be suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) aand I am wondering if you have sought help from a doctor and/or counsellor. If our past keeps popping up destroying our present and future you have to deal with these feelings to be able to move on. x

[Sigh_42 in reply to hypercat54]

Love this advice. I think that ShesNumb needs professional help to deal with those issues. Love to both of you 🤗

[hypercat54 in reply to Sigh_42]

Thank you. Love to you too. xx