I'm Lost

[sweet-kerosene]

So I started homeschooling about 3 or 4 months ago but I left high school around 5-6 months ago due to a bunch of drama and false rumors people would say about me. Fast forward about 2-3 weeks into leaving high school I found out that pretty much all of my friends were fake, including my best friend who've I've known and had for about 5 years. she kept telling my new friend a bunch of stuff about me along with all my other friends. Then about 3 months of leaving one of my two only friends I had left got a boyfriend and now she rarely talks to me, and my only friend left is always busy or babysitting. I thought being homeschooled would be better and it is in terms of my school work and how I act. I have bipolar and major social anxiety (most of which comes from always having fake people around.) so homeschooling helps out a lot when it comes to those types of things, however ever since I started, I've never felt more alone in my life. I can't make friends, I don't know how to anymore, and I'm terrified if I show people who I really am or I let people in it will just happen again. I feel like if I were to just disappear only my family and my one friend would notice and I just don't know what to do anymore because no one's really there for me anymore, and I have such bad trust issues that any new person I meet I push away and assume they were just being nice. And they probably were.

[hypercat54]

Hi I was just wondering how old you are as this would affect any advice we could give you. x

[sweet-kerosene in reply to hypercat54]

I am 17

[hypercat54 in reply to sweet-kerosene]

Ok thanks. I was asking coz you sound very young and you have to be a minimum of 16 to be a member of this site. x

[MsLockYourPosts]

Do you have any special interests that could lead you to joining a group with similar interests- singing, sports, bird watching, hiking?It doesn’t matter what, just that it allows you to be around people. Think of the others in the group as acquaintances. Let yourself be open to the fact that they may never be more than that, but also that some of those acquaintances could develop into true friendships.