Looking for a job

[Coralrose5]

I’m looking for a job but I worry about how I’ll do in an interview as I’m feeling unmotivated and out of the game. I guess I need to focus on how the outcome will improve my life and move me forward. But stupid thoughts keep creeping in that I’m not good enough because I don’t have a career I’m interested in and I didn’t finish college. 🤦‍♀️ I’m 32 and I was back in school late last year working towards an associate degree but I basically had a nervous breakdown. I always compare myself to others my age and I feel so behind. I’m trying to work on my outlook about that and think of this as an opportunity to develop new skills...

[Lindsay478]

Hi Coralrose!

What I find helpful is to take your worst thoughts or questions all the way to the end. What I mean by that is you had some doubts about yourself in your post that start with "I worry..." and end with "...because I'm not good enough" - take those thoughts all the way by asking yourself, what would happen if you went to an interview and they told you what you feared (that you don't have enough experience and motivation)? What is the worst scenario outcome of that situation?

Likely that would mean that you don't get that job, right? But you could also ask them questions for your next pursuit, such as "what specifically are you looking for that I can improve on?". And maybe it would also mean that you're just that much more insecure for the next interview, right? But what does that mean except that you would be right back in the same exact position you are in right now.

My point is, most of the time what we fear is really not so bad. It's the underlying elements that are really the terrorizing things and those have nothing to do with this interview, your work history, and whether or not your outfit impresses the new boss.

Spend some quiet time with your thoughts and remind yourself out loud, "I am bringing the best of me that I can bring and if they do not choose me for this job, I will find another."

"The worst case scenario is that I will learn from this interview what I need for the next one."

"I can do this."

In the meantime, write a list of things that will empower you that you can do now. Sometimes looking at our big life picture is so daunting, it's no wonder we have anxiety thinking about it! So you can't go finish that degree in a week - make yourself a goal that you can do in a week, that will boost your confidence toward this goal.

Examples: Get your resume reviewed by someone you trust and in the field you want to apply for - make it the best it can be!

Search for ways to volunteer to any organizations that have similar goals to the type of company you want to work for, that way you can tell them what you do in your off-time. (Looks good to compliment what you do professionally!)

There are endless amounts of ways to pick yourself apart and worry about the details, but there are also endless amounts of ways to do the opposite.

[Coralrose5 in reply to Lindsay478]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. ❤️

[jkl5500]

Lindsay had a great reply, but I'd like to add something:

Comparing yourself to others your age is being very unfair to yourself. If those "others" had the same illnesses that you have to deal with, how far would they have gotten? We weren't all dealt the same hand in life. All we can do is play the hand we have, and make the best of things.

It's intimidating for everyone when they're looking for a job. Let's face it - it's not fun. But you can do some research and prepare for interviews, like learning about the company. That will give you some control over the situation. I wish you the best of luck in finding something you'll love!

[Hidden]

Have faith. Do your best in the interview and if it doesn't work out, it's not for you. Keep going. What an exciting new start. Stay positive and you will do just fine.

[Hidden]

Hi Coralrose, when I feel doubts or lousy about achievements, I try to compare myself with myself (just a month,6 month,a year, etc.)prior. I'm competing with my myself only.

Good luck and take care!

Greta

[Michael8072]

I'm 39 and didn't finish college. I've been wavering for years about going back to finish my associates or maybe go to a trade school. But I lack motivation and can't find anything that really interests me. I wasted so much money when I was younger and don't want to do that again. So that's partly why I'm stuck. I don't just want to wing it I want to find something that sparks me.

As for the job interviews I've always felt like I did horrible during them and I'd replay them in my head trying to see where I went wrong. Sometimes I didn't get the job and at times I did and was surprised. I feel like if they really want you they'll hire you. Try not to second guess yourself. Just go and do the best that you can.

I hope this makes sense. I'm trying to say something and I don't know if it's coming out the way I want it to.

Good luck with your job interviews.