It never ends

[Kat63]

I’m feeling a little anxious again today. The weekend was good, but it’s Monday, my bf had to go back to work, and I’m by myself. I’m telling myself this is normal life - weekends end, and he does have other important things in his life besides me. But I always feel it when he steps back from me. I’m like a little kid with separation anxiety.

It’s a good thing I start a new job on Weds., but - of course! - I’m anxious about that, too. It’s a very similar job and a very similar environment to the job I was fired from in January. I’m trying to remember that most of the time, for the first two years of that job, I liked it and I felt reasonably competent.

[Pugglesworth]

Hi Kat.

Things come and go in life and anxiety is no different. I'm happy you're starting a new job. That will plant your attention in other things. Activiy alleviates anxiety for me. If it's nice out take a walk

[Lindsay478]

Hi Kat,

Your stress is understandable. The important thing to consider is that acquiring the tools to be alone confidently are paramount to you as an individual. It is your life you are living, not your boyfriend's or anyone else's. Take those times that you have to yourself to really sit in solitude and breathe in the air around you. Ask yourself, "Am I safe right now?" and answer yourself out loud. Turn it into an affirmation of "I am safe right now". Eventually, find ways in which you can start to enjoy (and even look forward to) your independent moments. Do you like to paint? Watch rom-com's? Read? Take walks? Do photography challenges? You could even spend time on this website and give others advice for how to overcome the anxiety of being alone.

Your happiness will never come from someone else or their schedule, no matter how much time they spend on you. Your boyfriend going to work, to school, to see his friends, or anything else without you is not "stepping back from you". It is stepping out on his own, which he needs just like you.

I find that young people often feel this way, and by young I mean from 18 to 30. I know I did, and it CAN change. What I learned from it is that I wasted a lot of time waiting around for someone to fill the void that was left there making solitude unbearable.

Fill it yourself and you will find a much more rewarding meaning to life.

Feel free to chat with me any time and good luck with your new job. You will do great.

[HeathersWellness]

Hi Kat,

Congratulations on securing your new position! You've been steadily looking for work and now it's finally paid off. I'm very happy for you and your achievement. And yes, while there may be some anxiety surrounding this job change, it's also a wonderful opportunity to begin anew and make a fresh start with higher expectations of the future including your own healing and other goals you may have .

Once you start the position, you'll probably have less time to focus on the things in your relationship that have been bothering you and that may help alleviate some of your current anxiety.

Sometimes we miss the blessing that's right in front of us. I pray that as unexpected doors open for you, you'll see more in your life to be thankful for each day and less to worry about. So be encouraged. I wish you all the greatest success in your new job and please keep us posted!