this is my first post and I’m a little unsure of where to start. Had a break down three weeks ago now and have been off work since while the meds set in.
I’m having private counselling and that does help a bit but I’m lost between my sessions. My doctors note says to do two half days this week and next to ease me back into it. I just know the colleagues at work are going to be annoyed about it. I feel like I have to go back full time but I’m pretty sure if I do I’ll burn out sooner.
When I woke up this morning I was a mess of anxiety and couldn’t stop crying and was struggling to breath. Now I’m awaiting to go into work and I just don’t know what to do. Struggle through to not piss them off anymore or take the time for me to get better as such. I just feel they don’t get it because mental health can’t be seen as such. One person told me it confuses them because they don’t get mental health , which I don’t understand and just made me feel like I’m in the wrong or stupid for not being able to cope like other people can.
Sorry for my return to work rant but I’m just a little lost and this looks like a good place to get advise - thanks for reading
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Hugo1990
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It sad as it is that most people don't acknowledge mental health (because there is little or no awareness about it). But the best you can do apart from talking to your counsellor is join a community of people similar to you. You have done that, and that is a big step.
I am new to this community too, and i have so much to learn about mental health (the place where i live laughs at mental health and call it weakness).
I don't have any useful advice to give you. But all i have to say is: Talk to us, keep us in the loop.
Suffering alone is painful, but we are here for you.
The more we interact amongst ourselves without stressing ourselves out, the more we can learn and support each other.
Thank you for your reply, it is nice to hear from like minded people. The return to work didn’t go that well. I went back in and they expected me to just get on with my old job full time. I explained my note shows 2 half days and it just seemed to annoy them. I dislike the department and was chucked in there when someone left.
I didn’t want the job so I thought, given that the bosses are my parents, they may think ‘we will find something easier for her to do’ but it’s clear in the last 3 weeks they haven’t researched into anything that could help me. And suggested finding another job.
They are the employers and were looking to me for an answer that I just didn’t have. All I needed was a warm welcome and it all felt so cold like I’m an inconvenience. As you mentioned people see it as weak because they can’t understand what makes us this way.
It’s not a choice as if anyone would choose to feel this way?! And thank you for the welcome it’s always nerve racking the first time when your unsure you’ve made any sense during a rant.
I've read your response, and i feel i can relate to you somewhere especially when it comes to dealing with parents.
my first thought is: do you have someone you can confide in? Some close friends, close cousins? Keep in touch with them and let them know how you're feeling. They might know you longer than we do, so they may offer alternative advice.
Don't think about your coworkers yet! Unless you're close to some of them.
thought #2: about your relationship with your employers. ask your counselor how to approach them with your needs, thoughts and opinions. there is some strategy, I'm sure. I have never been employed (i don't have a job yet), let alone be employed by my relatives. so, again, my advice may not be directly helpful.
thought #3: I've heard people say mental health was less acknowledged when our parents were growing up, so it's obvious they don't know how to deal with it. this isn't an excuse for them to dismiss your health, though.
thought #4: ~warning~ this could be some very bad advice. you mentioned you do not like the department and you don't like the job. should you be forcing yourself to commit to half days there? think about it objectively. try putting ME in your shoes. what would you expect me to do? would you advice me to resign from my current job and look for a better alternative?
perhaps the other jobs won't have a bad work environment and blood-relatives as your employers. (not saying that it's BAD, but hey. at least the work environment is new and no high expectations)
Sorry for the delayed response. And thank you for all your thoughts it’s really helpful to hear from others. Your thought 4 spoke to me because i used to be a manager in retail and I constantly encouraged my colleagues to fight for what they believe in and follow there dreams and now I’m in the family business it seems that I don’t get the responses I used to give, if that makes sense.
The sick feeling I get when I go in does shift now and then but one days good then next isn’t and I feel it’s just the way it is at the moment. The thought of full time at the moment scares me a lot
Thank you for your advise I really do appreciate it
I am sorry that you are going through this. Anxiety is one of the most difficult feelings to deal with when it comes to being able to balance work and home life. After my accident seven years ago, I’ve had to deal with PTSD, anxiety, severe depression, and physical pain. The reason that I write this is to let you know that I can somewhat understand where you are. When I was in management, I used to have to educate my employees about all kinds of things, including various aspects of physical and mental illness, because fellow employees would experience issues from time to time. I have found that when people are informed, they are less likely to feel confused and to make the person who is ill feel bad. You may want to have your counselor give your Human Resources a call and set this up prior to your return to work.
One thing that has really helped me has been my faith in Christ. I don’t know if you are open to this or not, but when I get anxious and begin to escalate, I start reading key passages from the Bible and it calms me right down (i.e. Psalm 91, Psalm 112, Psalm 119, Psalm 121, Romans 8, Philippians 4). I wish you the best. God bless you,
thank you for your message and advice that was really kind of you. I have often thought of faith as a way to heal and I will definitely look into the verses you have suggested.
Thank you for sharing your experience as well, it’s good to see other perspective. I hope you are recovering/recover now.
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