I'm ready to leave

[Darknlovely504]

I'm on the verge of packing a bag and leaving can't deal with this non sense n here. I have so much ailing me and stressing me out

[hypercat54]

Hi Darknlovely what's up? I looked back on some of your previous posts and haven't seen any non sense? Has someone upset you? x

[Darknlovely504 in reply to hypercat54]

Who said it was someone on this site?

[hypercat54 in reply to Darknlovely504]

You said you can't deal with the non sense on here so I assumed you meant the site? x

[Darknlovely504 in reply to hypercat54]

I said n here

[hypercat54 in reply to Darknlovely504]

Well I don't know what n means? Does it mean not?

[Darknlovely504 in reply to hypercat54]

In here dear n means in

[Hidden]

I'm sorry. What are you leaving? Do you have a family?

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Hidden]

Home

[Hidden in reply to Darknlovely504]

I was asking because the advice could be different if you are young with your parents or married with kids. You don't have to share if you don't want to. I hope you feel better soon.

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Hidden]

I'm 46 I have 3 kids who live with me 16, 18, 19

[Hidden in reply to Darknlovely504]

Ok. Thanks. I'm the same age with a grown child and a twelve year old. I know you know that you need to be there for your kids. I know it's so hard with them especially if you are a single parent.

Can you get support from family or counseling. What are the reasons you struggle? We are here for you. Pm me if you want to chat. I could use more friends. 😊

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Hidden]

Just tired of being mistreated I already go through a lot with my illnesses and mental issues

[Florida1959]

Take a deep breath, go into nature, and ask for guidance From inside, you sound overwhelmed to me, take step back and reassess, is it the children, is it the house, let us know, and we can help more? Hugs 🤗

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Florida1959]

My youngest acts out

[Hidden]

Hi Darknlovely.

Sorry for how you feel

Sending good wishes to you 🌺 xxx

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Hidden]

Thank u very much.

[Hidden in reply to Darknlovely504]

🌺🌹🌺🌹🌺🌹💕

[6ixtyon1]

Years ago, a mother did exactly that...her spouse and kids just didn't listen to her, didn't help her, didn't respect her...one day, she just up and packed up and left, went to the midwest and started a whole new life, telling people she was widowed. She left behind most of her things, just took enough for a trip, and only enough "wages" that she felt she'd have earned, being a paid worker in her own family for a month. A year and a half later, she contacted her family to see how they were doing. None of the children were infants (when she left, the youngest was a jr. in high school; oldest was in vo-tech school, at 21), but they were still acting like infants...spoiled, pissed-off and enraged that she had left them flat. Her spouse wasn't much better. Seeing as how nothing had changed, she went back to her new life and wrote a book about it, later.

Ok, most of us don't have those life-options, and when offspring act out, they are trying to establish their own power and expression over everyone else. This is absolutely no help to you, if you are already trying to take care of your own conditions. How about ANY community respite services for you? Are there any in your community that would provide you with a place to meet and make your own haven, maybe with people who share your same condition? It sounds like if you are only speaking to people with emotionally deaf ears. It's time to do something nice for yourself, and make it stick, for a while...you are worth it!

Is there anyone that you see for your condition who could recommend something like this for you? If not, maybe it's time to start some writing on your own...blessings, and I hope a compassionate answer comes to you!

[IHadADog]

If you're on the verge of leaving and you have three kids who live with you (and presumably need you), that means something. That feeling is real and telling you something. I won't tell you not to do it - I'm not you. I don't know what you're going through. I just want to say that what you're feeling is telling you something about what daily life is like and ... maybe leaving is the best option. Or maybe there's something else you can do to address what's making you want to leave. But it's good that you're recognizing that something has to change. Congratulations to you for sharing that and recognizing that something has to change.

[Starrlight]

(((((((( ❤️ Hug ❤️ ))))))) I’m so sorry. I get really frustrated with my kids and husband because I like the place spotless and they are pigs so I try to compromise but sometimes I am so freakin sick of it all. I do so much for them and they do repay me with hugs and love but I really need them to be neater. What is the thing that frustrates you the most?

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Starrlight]

The same thing u stated plus the bad attitudes and no understanding of my situation

[Hidden in reply to Darknlovely504]

Three teenage kids and the youngest acting it out - all too much. Kids have so much energy . Do you find holidays worse when the kids are not at school ? So much washing, cooking, rows and arguments, social media networks making kids not wanting to get up or do sport - or not enough cash to send them to leisure centres or gyms.

See all this as a granny looking after my grand kids from time to time. Hope you can hold on until the kids are back at school - most parents long for a tidy home but the two things of untidiness and kids don't go together. If you are anxious you may need the security of control over tidiness. I guess rewards might help with helping with their tidiness. Have tried to help with kids clothes by buying linen bins for dirty and clean clothes in kids rooms. This is helping. Also try and clear out clothes which are too small, and make the drawers easier to open. Your youngest would blame himself if he knew he was the cause of your mental health and he in turn might be anxious.

Just hope you can put your feet up and spend a little time to look after yourself. You love them all to bits and they love you too. Take care.

[Starrlight in reply to Darknlovely504]

Yes so the attitudes and disrespect and messiness seem 10 times worse when the conditions we have are acting up. So it sounds like they are not understanding. Have you told them exactly what you need from them like set up a chart as a reminder?

[Clue]

I totally get you.. I have no respect. I pick up. I clean. I do the bills. I shop for groceries. I do everything. I even take care of my 85yr old parents and i have 4 other siblings that do shit. So believe me when i tell you i KNOW how you feel. It's like grounhog day every day. How do i cope? I have alot a faith.

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Clue]

That's my life to. When I get away I feel a little better but then the sadness come back. I'm tired of crying and trying. U meet someone thinking u could talk to them about things and when I do they stop judging or looking about me like I'm the bad guy. That's why I rather be alone tired of one sided people

[Clue in reply to Darknlovely504]

I'm alone 2. I have trust issues. My husband is an emotional abuser. I have mo where to go. I'm 54 don't really have any skill eccept some computers but not much. He's overbearing possesive and can be narrsasitic. I can't leave my parents anyway so I'm stuck in this rut of whatever but i try and keep my positivity flowing even though things are bad my faith is all i have and keeps my heart right.

[Hidden in reply to Clue]

Probably you could get some training locally they usually have job training for people wanting to update their skills.

[Hidden]

teenagers can be difficult and three of them is a lot for one person! go somewhere and punch a pillow. and as someone advised go into nature... get away for a bit. hugs!! wish you peace and calm.

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Hidden]

I get away when I can and be so at peace and relaxed

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Darknlovely504]

Thank u

[Hidden in reply to Darknlovely504]

You're welcome I hope things are better today

[Hidden in reply to Darknlovely504]

oh good!

That you get time away that is! My responses are out of order sorry

[Seachell71]

Hi Darknlovely, how are you feeling today? I can totally understand how you feel. I'm ill every day and some days are worse than others. On bad days like today, I feel like giving up but I have so much to live for. We need to hold onto the positives. Love and strength to you.

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Seachell71]

Hi I'm fair and u? Just trying to not stress so much but it's hard I can't catch a break

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Darknlovely504]

Then my health draining me of my sanity

[Seachell71 in reply to Darknlovely504]

Being ill all the time can send us into depression too can't it. I find getting out in the fresh air and doing some meditation helps me a lot. Even some yoga .

[Darknlovely504 in reply to Seachell71]

Yes it has worn me out completely some days I can't think straight. I'm so so tired. I get out sometimes it helps for awhile then I'm back in that dark place. Often while I'm out I still feel ill. So i just stay home

[lorianxiety]

hi Darknlovely,hope you have had time to get yourself back on track,and ready to carry on ,it must be very difficult for you and I can only hope you find the strength to carry on,all the very best,and remember its so important to treat yourself well.

[Darknlovely504 in reply to lorianxiety]

Hi I'm still not there too much pulling at me