Losing my Mind!!!!! Help me

[Brandysgirl]

My moms best friends daughter has grown up with me and we consider ourselves sisters. My "sister" is going to be going to intense treatment for her eating disorder and I dont know what to do because me and her have been growing apart more and more because we dont get to see each other a lot. We see each other like once every 4 months at the earliest. We used to be so close and went to camp together last year and it was awesome but now I dont know how to help her and she is worrying about me with my depression and I know I am adding to her stress so its why I stopped telling her about when I cut and have thoughts or urges to cut because she is already going through so much.

All my life I was always afraid to open up to my family and those close to me about my depression and i finally did last year and ever since then I have been treated differently by those who know. I know they just dont know how to help but its why I kept it to myself because my family is still being torn apart and them knowing is making it worse for everyone.

There are so many things going on in my head that I can not control and dont have people to talk to, All my thoughts are keeping me up at night again, and when i do fall asleep I am having nightmares again, last night I slept for 30 minutes and it went from a great dream to me waking up in tears wanting to cut because my nightmare was so bad. I just dont know what to do, I am insecure, scared, and honestly at my lowest point I have ever been at with my depression. Its to the point where I dont even feel okay enough to go to track practice which is one of the biggest things I looked forward to this year.

[Agora1]

Brandysgirl, "sister friends" are the closest bond there can be between two friends.

It's a feeling of wanting what is in the best interest of this person. Right now it's about

the both of you needing to heal. Support your friend in what she is going through now

in whatever it takes. Even your loneliness for a while.

While she is helping herself, this would be a perfect time for you to seek therapy

as well in helping with your depression and self harm thoughts.

Things change in life as life becomes a little more complicated. It doesn't have to

impinge on your love and care for each other. I wish your sister friend well. My

daughter has an eating disorder and I would only hope that she would be willing

to reach out for help. So endorse your friend's need to help herself right now.

I wish you well in focusing on yourself as well. When the time is right, you both

can catch up with life again whether in person or on social media. Good Luck xx

[1OshunDreamer]

It sounds like you are both crying out for health. It's hard to say if now is the best time to support one another. If your friend still has use of her phone, for now set up weekly video chats. Make it short just to check in so you can remind her of your love and support for her.

Are you cutting to feel something? If so, it's probably a symptom of depression. After peeling away those few layers, it sounds like you need to focus on treating your depression. What are you doing for depression right now?

[Brandysgirl in reply to 1OshunDreamer]

I honestly black out when I cut and I hate that I do it but I went from being 5 months clean to almost doing it everyday since last week on friday. I am going to therapy and counseling again and I do track

[1OshunDreamer in reply to Brandysgirl]

I'm so happy you're going to counseling. We're here too. I come and go, mainly come back when I feel down. Then I see all the awesome people who feel bad about themselves who don't realize how much they are helping others. Just like yourself. Talking about it will hopefully not only make you feel better but you may say something that will help others.

How did you stop cutting before? Can you try that again?