Worried

[Starry4711]

Always worrying about health, hate doctors, just feels like nobody understands

[KayBeck]

I understand. Panic attacks are constant. Everyone just says it’s in your head nothings wrong with you.

[Starry4711 in reply to KayBeck]

Thx and it’s awful isn’t it. I feel like I’m everybodys rock but nobody wants to be mine when I say how I’m feeling. My health anx is out of control at the moment which is the worst thing for me

[KayBeck in reply to Starry4711]

I know that feeling. People vent to me all the time but when I try to talk about me they seem distracted or dismissive. I’m trying to learn to rely on myself when I’m going through stuff. It’s not always easy to do. I’m learning people will disappoint you if you expect something. It’s better to just get it from myself.

I’m trying this app called headspace for meditation and it’s kinda helping. But not completely. My panic attacks aren’t getting any better.

Is it the fear of something for you or is something wrong? For me it’s the possibility that my body will betray me. My main fear is aneurysms but today at work I thought my lungs were collapsing all because I could feel the pressure of my shirt on my chest. As ridiculous as it sounds it’s not the worst I’ve dealt with.

[Starry4711 in reply to KayBeck]

It’s definitely true about expectations I’ve lowered mine because I never get anything back. My big thing is worrying about any sensations in my body that I would need to see a doc and that for me is terrifying. I’m from uk I don’t have anybody here but hubby and he doesn’t get it at all he just says see a doc. I hate myself I just want to feel normal just for one day. Lots of stress the last two years my dad died, now my mother in law has cancer, and that’s what set this all off. At the moment it’s all about peeing, too much, too little, the feeling of needing to go all the time but then some daysit disappears. Doctor google is my worst enemy, when I’m occupied I’m better just sitting is no good. My mind goes to all sorts of places. Ughthis just totally sucks I swear

[KayBeck in reply to Starry4711]

Yea that sounds like me. I know that I can’t look up my symptoms because it will make me panic. I usually ask my husband to look it up for me. I’m sorry you don’t have his support at least. And I’m sorry about ur dad and mother in law.

My fear is like that too. Any little feeling makes my head race with what-could-it-be’s. It’s exhausting. The fear that me thinking I’m just panicking when something is actually wrong is terrifying. Or not making it to the doctors in time. And the hospitals where I am are known to be bad. It doesn’t help ease the anxiety. I use to have great healthcare but after I turned 26 I couldn’t be under my father’s insurance.

The worse part is the constant overthinking. I feel so weak by my fears and I know I can be stronger which makes me angry at myself. It just takes time I guess. Time and work. I’m determined not to let it beat me. No matter how many battles I lose. In the end, I’m not going to be a victim of my anxiety. You can’t either. Sometimes it’s just finding the right combination of techniques that could help for awhile. When they stop working, find a new combination. My therapist says my anxiety isn’t going anywhere but the techniques are weapons to that help to live with it. Like I’ve learned that when I panic, what helps me is a distraction. Like someone asking me questions that forces me to think. Or doing puzzles. You just have to find what works for you.

[Starry4711 in reply to KayBeck]

Yes I agree it’s a damn tough way to live though isn’t it. So glad we got to chat a bit x

[KayBeck in reply to Starry4711]

It really is. I’m glad too.