Is this my "new" normal now?

[candont]

I am so depressed most days and just struggle heavily with daily activities. I neglect my family and avoid as many people as possible. A few years back, I had situational depression that went into full blown depression that's never gone away.

I have told my psych nothing works. I didn't used to be this person. Now all I am is a shell of a person, apologizing for existing. I take meds as prescribed. I've been going to see a fix since 2014.

I've thought about ending my life but I already suck, that just takes it to a whole other level for my family if I were to do something like this but still, I can't help but think about it. I feel like a burden to my husband and my kids.

[Exister]

Try to find one thing that makes you really happy. It can be really small, like taking a bath or smelling something or whatever. Notice when you are happy and remember those actions. Never feel bad about going back to those things when you need them. You can do them over and over. Then find other things and slowly expand outward until the things that you know make you happy can fuel you to push through the bad parts.

You're already much stronger than you think, just for going through this. Your family loves you, and watching you take the steps you need to take care of yourself will be an inspiration to them. You. Are. Not. A. Burden. <3<3<3

[JAYnLA in reply to Exister]

I agree - and yes, we are all much stronger than we think we are. It has to be pointed out to me occasionally.

[Oneseedatatime]

No it is not your new normal, it is something that you are experiencing. Good for you for reaching out on here and for getting medical support. Are you in therapy? Perhaps reevaluating your medication could be of benefit? I am currently reading a book that you may find interesting...The Food Mood Solution by Jack Challam. Check it out, it focuses on food and our mental health.

Remember that life is constantly changing. Sometimes we are in a good season and sometimes it is a bad season. We learn from both, we smile, we hurt, we laugh, we fall down, and we get back up! Keep going my friend, we've got this!