I've been amazed by how supportive you guys are of each other.
Like many others I have struggled with depression for years. I've been on and off meds. The side effects seemed to always outweigh the benefits so I stopped. Anxiety wasn't an issue until my mother passed away a few months ago. I did not have medical power of attorney a sibling did. My mom was fully alert and her mind was good. She was on oxygen because her lungs were failing. I'll spare the details, but she wasn't told that her oxygen was about to be removed and she would pass. I followed my siblings wishes of not telling her, but my guilt is all consuming now. She kept asking me " will I be ok?" and I lied and said "yes" and held her hand. Now my anxiety is off the chart. I snap at people for minor infractions I cry constantly and easily. I wake with adrenaline surging through my body and feel like jumping out of my skin. I have an appointment with a therapist Tuesday. I kept thinking the anxiety would subside but it had increased.
Thank you for listening. Most folks run from intense emotions so I just withdraw.
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Tealribbon
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Well, obviously the terrible stress of what happened has exhausted you physically and emotionally. The obvious culprit here is probably your adrenal glands. They are only made to take so much stress. After awhile they start to malfunction. Yet no one ever thinks to treat them. If you're fairly young, you can still recover from this problem by following the recommended treatment of a progressive doctor. He would most likely treat you with supplements, not drugs. That would keep you away from the side effects of the drugs. But, remember I am not a doctor and I am only offering you my opinion. One thing I will recommend is magnesium citrate. It has a very calming affect on the body. It is usually deficient under situations of heavy stress. If you have a Kroger nearby you can get Nature Made magnesium citrate for $13.99 per 2 bottles (bogo). I take 3 per day. 1 each with my first 2 meals and 1 before bed. It's a simple, cheap suggestion. I wish you well. I will also pray for you. Have as good of a day as you can!
Thank you. I read your earlier post and I ordered "Calm". I'll try 1/2 dose to begin with. I also bought the magnesium threonate (sp?). I'm hopeful. Thank you again.
Okay, but be careful here. DO NOT TAKE TOO MUCH MAGNESIUM. Generally more than 500 mgs a day causes you to get the runs. So study the magnesium amounts and don't exceed 500 mgs daily. Okay? Especially at first. You can work up to more as time passes. But definitely take a dose before bed. It'll help you sleep. The capsule may actually work better than the powder for that. But you can experiment as long as you don't overdo it. I never told Pearl67 that throwing up is a classic sign of a major OD on magnesium. If you're careful it will tell you when you're at the max. As soon as you get the runs, you cut back a small amount and stay there for awhile.....Good health, my friend!
You Google your area or the nearest large metro area for Progressive doctors. Here's a sneaky way to do it. Look for a doctor that treats adrenal problems. Usually only progressive doctors acknowledge and treat adrenal problems. Once you find several, study their ratings and choose the best one. Okay?
Early days, Tealribbon, early days. Your grief over the loss of your mother is still a fresh wound, allow yourself to grieve. Eventually you will come to accept her passing, she has left this vale of tears for a far better place.
Tealribbon, you need reprimand yourself for nothing, you were right to ease her final days with a white lie.
Cry constantly if you wish, accept the adrenalin pumping through you when you wake, it will not be for ever. Do not try to suppress it.
As a general comment, you say the side effects of medications outweight the benefits. Do remember that most side effects pass during the first month whereas the benefits do not make themselves felt for 6 to 8 weeks.
As time goes by your nerves will recover from the shock, you will be left with memories of the happy times and you will be able to move forward once again.
Thank you for your encouragement. And I am so thankful she is happy now. No more pain. My younger brother died of cancer in 2015. So they are together.
I'm not very skilled at grieving and at the same time hiding it from day to day life. So I stuff it and pretend. Thus I guess the anxiety but here I feel safe to at least talk about it. That's a blessing.
Don't feel bad for telling your Mum that she was going to be ok you said the right thing and matters were not in your hands so you have nothing to feel bad about
Your Mum is in a better place now meeting up with passed loved ones and she wouldn't want you suffering from stress
You have nothing to feel guilty about so greive your Mum but do not feel guilty
Feeling guilty sure doesn't help It's like I have this dirty secret and if people knew they would think badly of me. And I certainly don't want God mad at me. I've asked Him to forgive me
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. And I am so sorry for how you're feeling along with the guilt.
Thank God for all the wonderful support you have: the helpful comments from loving people who understand and truly care. Count on me to be here for you as well. <3 <3 <3
I will keep you in my prayers. And may God's comfort, peace, and protection wrap around you like the coziest blanket ever. May His healing hands renew your mind, emotions, body and life.
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but here I feel safe to at least talk about it. That's a blessing. 
How long did it take you to adjust to Lexapro
Med Adjustments, what to do? 
Is it normal? 
Is this normal?
Normal
