Worst thoughts

[jmendo97]

So me and my boyfriend got into this argument...We hardly ever get into them, but when they do happen, I go into the worst cycle of thoughts and crying. I immediately assume or think hes going to break up with me and how im going to lose him, and the cycle just goes on and on, and ill just soak into these negative thoughts panicking and crying until my eyes are incredibly swollen. 99.5% of the time its literally nothing and things go back to normal but I don't understand why i do that.

[B4andafter]

When we put so much emphasis on the relationship fulfilling all our needs, it doesn't take much to send us into negative thinking when an argument happens. Fear of losing him makes one spiral into catastrophic thinking (all or nothing thinking) which could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you can recognize that's the thinking pattern that you are embarking on and then replace those thoughts with more realistic ones, that is a good start although it takes practice. Look up cognitive distorted thinking on the web for more information.

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

I think he are placing to emphasis on this relationship for your happiness and well-being. Relationships are meant to enhance your life not rule it.

Take some time to discover who you are and being happy with yourself then the relationship will add value to your life.

[baileyf14]

Relationships can be very difficult sometimes. Have you talked with him about the way you feel after an argument? Having him know what you are going through will help because he will try to help you in the best way that he can. I hope everything gets better.