Help..

[valskies805]

Ok so here it goes.. I’ve been living with my in-laws for the past 2 years. (Financial issues) through these 2 years I developed anxiety and depression.. and I believe through some stuff in the past as well. But for these past 2 years I’ve had some clashes with my father In law which lead to now I can’t be around him for too long before I start feeling really uncomfortable and go lock myself in my room. And my mother-in-law wants to

Control everything from what detergents I use and how I feed my son. She has good intentions I know it but it can be overwhelming when she even wants to tell me what to wear to church. When I say no to soda to my toddler he runs to grandpa and grandpa

will say yes. It’s frustrating!!!! My sister in law lives on her own but she’s over EVERY DAY! She won’t knock to come in our room (when it’s unlocked) , just opens the door and lets herself in just to say hi to our toddler, some days it will be 8:30am and we’ll still be in bed she doesn’t care. My husband has talked to them but it goes in one ear out the other. To top it off we have a family business. Can you imagine working AND living with his family?? 😭 today’s my father in laws birthday my brother-in-law is in town from out of state with his girlfriend as well. is it bad I don’t want to help set up for the bbq? Is it bad I rather leave the house for the day and be out with my son instead of being in the middle of all the commotion and stress of getting things ready? Is it bad I don’t want to be part of the family bbq if I spend every day with them?? They all left to breakfast and asked me to prep some stuff for the bbq I politely said “I won’t be home today” I got a weird look.. Help! Am I being dramatic? I just got a job and hopefully it will be a little help for us to look for a small place. My husband is completely understanding and supportive and understands how I feel. I just want to be in our room all day feeling down. I just can’t do this anymore.. has anyone else gone through this?

[EleanorRose]

I haven’t been in your situation but have known two close friends who have been and they have both said very similar things to what you are saying - you’re definitely not alone.

I imagine I’d also become frustrated too. Yes, you live in the same house, but you are seperate from them and should be able to lead your own life. You absolutely don’t have to take part in the BBQ if you don’t want to and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s great that your husband is supportive.

The only thing I would say is that, in the interests of not creating future awkwardness, perhaps your father in laws birthday is not the day to choose you don’t want to join in? Obviously that depends on how strongly you feel about it but perhaps for this one day you should join in - not necessarily with the preparation but being there. Then in future, on days which aren’t ‘special occasions’, try to keep yourself a bit more separate from them.

It sounds like a really tricky situation and taking care of your own needs is really important. Weigh up the options for the day and pick the one you think best.

[Hidden]

I live with I laws with husband and daughter. It's hard. Mil picks on me for my weight and directs everything I do with my child. Spoils her, feeds her too much and then complaints about her weight. Good luck to you. I know how it feels. 😣

[Needtovent]

Glad you’re working to help save. Can you get on list for subsidized housing if you qualify income wise? Perhaps you can find a roommate who wouldn’t mind house sharing with you, hub and child? Just trying to think outside the box....