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[WorriedMomRVT]

Hello everyone. Just wanted to reach out and introduce myself. I am almost 50, an RVT (registered veterinary technician). I am married with one adult son (21). I suffer from depression, and likely anxiety (although that has not been diagnosed). My son lives with us since he was discharged from the Navy with an injury to his shoulder that has resulted in chronic pain. In the Navy he became very depressed and suicidal, and was hospitalized twice while there. Now he is home, still depressed and is again suicidal and is cutting. He has stopped taking all meds, although he is using cannabis. He barely gets out of bed, and is obviously unemployed. He was taking a few classes at the local community college, but has stopped. My husband does not understand mental health issues, and so sees it as lazy, and not trying to do anything. I am at my wits end. I don't know how to help my son stay alive.

[kenster1]

hi I am sorry to hear that does the navy not offer support to ex officers if not then that's a worry.your husband has to get off his backside and start supporting you both before its to late.supportline.org.uk/problems/ armed forces could maybe help you I don't know.your son was willing to put his life on the line so its about time they looked out for him for his services to his country.ssafa.org.uk/help-you/veterans is another one of them could help or guid you to other help.

[pink318]

Hi- Welcome to the forum. I’m also a Mom and I know the love of a mother to her children. Sorry your son is going through a tough time and it must be so difficult on your part.

Is he still seeing his therapist? You can try to encourage him to join a support group that he can meet in person regularly. It will him to feel less lonely and be encouraged by other people’s experience. I hope he will soon feel better.

Take care of yourself and stay strong. You son needs you. I pray for strength as you support your son and also for peace so you can overcome the testings your family is going through. Keep us posted. God bless.

[-Sasha-]

I really feel for you here. As a parent, I know feeling helpless when it comes to your child is a horrible feeling. How are you coping with everything? Do you make time for yourself at least once a day? I know you want to help your son, but it's important you take care of yourself too.

Now have you noticed any connections between his depression and the cannabis? For example he shuts down shortly after consuming some. I only ask because I too use cannabis for chronic pain and I'm noticing that ever since my depression and anxiety has worsened, everytime I smoke a certain type I feel like I fall even deeper into my depression. I've had to cut down quite a bit to find a good balance. If he's giving up, he might welcome this. I know I considered just letting it take over, it seemed easier than fighting everyday. If there's any chance you can get him to cut back or try something else, I'd see if that makes a difference. I used to be a cutter as well... It's a way to focus the pain somewhere else and the only thing I felt I had control over in my life at the time. If he needs anyone to talk to, I'd do my best to help. Same goes for you. Best wishes.

~S~

[dore13]

That is a very sad situation. I can only think that it would be best to get your son to an ER and have admitted to psychiatric hospital, he needs serious help, more than you can offer. I wish I had a more positive message, but mental illness is a serious issue.