Everyday is hard

[Lost_One]

I wake up every morning with a new hope. Hope that today is going to be the day when I have a breakthrough, that this horrible, dark path that I am on is going to open up to bright happiness. But it doesn’t. It just gets darker and darker. When I think about what the future holds I get very nervous and scared inside.

[Panic247]

Hello there. I’m new here. Just started yesterday. I too, wake up each morning with a new hope and it seems to spiral. You are not alone. One thing my therapist told me was to not put so much pressure on myself that one day, everything will do a 180. It usually doesn’t work like that. Be kind and gentle with yourself. In my experience, I didn’t get this gloomy, hopeless, and panicked overnight so it’s hard to to imagine being able to change it all overnight. I write 10 things I’m grateful for every morning. It may sound corny, but when I put things like I’m grateful for hollandaise sauce, it makes me crack a smile! Because I love it and it lightens my mood. The future is what scares me the most, so I can relate. That’s where my brain lives it seems. An acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Please don’t give up. The less than 24 hours I’ve had this app, I’ve had more people reach out than in my real life and it feels safe to be honest here because a lot of us can relate which is hard to find in the outside world. Sorry for the ramble, I hoped this helped even a smidge. 😊

[ksquig in reply to Panic247]

I've heard a lot of good things about keeping an appreciation journal. I hope you keep with it and enjoy the benefits!

[Panic247 in reply to ksquig]

Thank you so much!

[Agora1 in reply to Panic247]

Great advice Panic247. It's always reassuring to hear these words from someone

who is actually going through the same issues. I'm glad you have become a part

of our group. In one day, know that you have helped someone out here "more than

a smidge" x

[Panic247 in reply to Agora1]

Wow. I know it’s early, but you made my day just hearing of the possibility I can help someone else and that someone is glad I’m around. It’s hard to believe that a lot of times, but with kind people like you giving me reassurance helps me realize that critical inner voice of mine is full of bs

[car103]

Lost_One, I wake up every morning with anxiety and dread. I give you credit for finding some hope. I constantly wonder: What is going to break me out? How do I keep up the energy to keep trying? Will I ever be better?

I have a psychiatrist, a somatic experiencing therapist and an acupuncturist. I see a practitioner that does homeopathy and Bach flower. I tried hypnosis. I keep thinking that something is going to work - just try.

What I'm liking right now is Myofascial Release. It is the most calming hopeful hour I spend each week and the unwinding seems to allow some relax.

Reading here and seeing that I'm not alone is extremely helpful. I spend my life feeling such isolation.

As hard as it is, I'm not giving up. But this is hard. Keep writing. I'm listening.

[ksquig in reply to car103]

How has your experience with somatic experiencing therapy been? I'm interested to learn more about it.

[car103 in reply to ksquig]

My therapist is still doing trainings which makes me a little bit of a guinea pig. She's by no means an expert and doesn't only use SE. We go through the exercise of identifying and issue; finding where I feel that in my body and work on a release. In the moment it feels good and like a burden is released. Not really sure that feeling has staying power.

Everything is a process and takes time and I want to be healed yesterday already.

[I got nowhere with EMDR which she also does.]

[ksquig in reply to car103]

I completely agree with wanting to be healed yesterday! I’ve had some success with EMDR, but only with a really specific fear that was associated with a specific traumatizing experience.

[Sunnidayz1]

There is always hope. A new day brings new possibilities. I would consult w a professional if it is depression that you are indeed experiencing. I give u kudos for posting. You are never alone.

[Hidden]

Watching cat videos may help. I had a break on Sunday, and my daughter suggested that. It actually worked, somewhat.

[JkBrauer]

youtu.be/7qZOQO82y4U(Not working as expected?) I hope this works, this song is one of my favorites and helps me through the hard times. I hope you will watch this video and listen to the song too. I am praying for you!

[Hidden]

Hey... as long as you hold on to that hope one day it will lead to towards the light . Don’t let go of that hope because that’s your strength that some others would love to have. And you also have us here to listen to you and allow you to lean on us along the way x don’t be scared anymore x

[LadyO4]

Thanks for sharing here - we all need a safe place to hide out when the stresses of life want to take over. I notice you wrote this 2 days ago, so I hope you get this message.

I think what helped me the most was getting educated on how many functions of the body are involved in anxiety, what each one does and why, and what I can do to help the problem go away. A functional doctor who has studied the endocrine system of the body will be the best person to see, because they are more familiar with anxiety and depression than a regular doctor who has been trained to pass out drugs.

One other thought here - In my own quest to break free from the problems that impaired my ability to feel normal, I created an online blog as a way to express my deep emotions, and noticed that getting them down on paper felt therapeutic. Writing helps activate “relaxation response” of the parasympathetic nervous system, which stimulates the vagus nerve and acts as an antidepressant naturally. Writing also allows a person to use narrative expressive writing as a way to release fears, resentments, disappointments, and anguish, as it changes the beat-to-beat intervals in their heart rate, and helps them calm down.

I want to encourage you to make some phone calls, ask questions, ask questions, and see if you will consider going to this kind of doctor who can treat your anxiety. He will do it by using diet changes, supplements, and neurofeedback, which will help the brain fire waves needed for relaxation. It might sound complex, but it really isn't. I hope some of this helps.