Hi! Just as many others on this forum I battle depression, anxiety and loneliness. Recently, I’ve tried to set 2 daily goals & I fall short of achievement. Meanwhile, my things that need do’n keeps growing and I remain overwhelmed... it’s a vicious cycle. Any thoughts if encouragement or suggestions? Please?
Baby step approach isn’t working - Anxiety and Depre...
Baby step approach isn’t working
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Catt56
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Catt, it is so hard isn't it?! I've tried different things. For a while, I would do what I called "working in threes". I would chose three smaller things that I needed to do or one thing in three steps. Fill dishwasher, hand wash, wipe counters. Make bed, shower, dress. Dress children, feed children, kiss children. To start make your three even easier than the two goals you are trying to do now. Choose one of your goals and just think of the first three tasks. I keep saying them in my mind and work through until they are done.
When I am doing better, I do write down a to do list with small tasks and I give myself a big happy face sticker if I do just three. Again, probably easier than your two. Recently on the radio, I heard advice to write down the ONE thing you really want to accomplish the next day before going to bed. Work on getting that ONE thing right away, then the most important thing got done. You may be willing to work on another one. Maybe, not.
Motivation is the hardest part of depression for me right now. I have learned that I need to be very compassionate with myself. When my brain starts it's crazy train, "I can't even do two things today!", around and around, I'll never get anything done but hating myself. I need to stop those thoughts with thoughts of compassion.
Catt56 in reply to
Hi! I appreciate your input, wisdom & compasdion. In addition to lonliness its the lack of motivation which makes it hard to function with depression. Thank you, it's good to read a different perspective to help distract and get throigh this difficult day. I know that crazy train you reference.... it’s one ride I hate... one ride I’m hoping to avoid tonight. Just took my ambien, 2 Zyrtec & 2 over the counter sleeping pills. I hope to pass out and miss the crazy train. Take care and your response means a lot to me. Thank you!
Catt, maybe I can help some. I have several small chatlines on this site. You can talk to like minded people who can help you with your problems. At the very least there are 12 to 16 people in each chat group and you can just have general chats with them. No need to be lonely. My chat groups are free, run 24/7 as long as there are people talking and contain only nice, sweet people from this site. They will understand you and know where you are coming from. Circle Of Friends 5 is taking new people and if you want a really active chatline, Circle Of Friends 2B has one or 2 spots still open. It's simple to do and I will explain it in detail if you accept. We might be able to help with other alternatives to get you relaxed and sleepy so you don't need so much medication. Hope I hear from you. Even if you don't want to join us, have an awesome, blessed day!
This is what this whole site is for JEG. We all understand on here and will help as much as we can. This is a mental health site in itself don't forget.
Are you objecting to my attempt to reach out and help lonely people by creating small individual groups with a family like atmosphere for people to relax and talk in?
I don't think you should be 'recruiting' from a mental health site like this as it detracts from it. We are a big happy family on here and members can talk on here just as well.
You mistake whats going on. First my chatlines are on this site right on my pm. It is under admins control like all other functions of this site. Second, no one is leaving this site to join me. Many of our members continue to post regularly on the main forum. 3rd there is no agenda. I do not preach anything to anyone. Not even about my beloved supplements. 4th I do not allow bullying, profanity, overt sex talk or anything illegal. My chatlines are merely a support group within the support group system. Lastly, the glowing reports that I've gotten indicate that they are an incredible success with their main goal. That goal is simply to reduce loneliness by allowing people to talk in safe environments with like minded people. The comradery and extra support has been a hit with all who join.
All those things aren't allowed on here anyway and this is a friendly site where we can all get together, talk, and make friends. I can't see why all your pm threads are needed. You are encouraging elitism and separatism and normalising it for the new people on here. Surely this isn't the purpose of a forum like this?
If you wish to run your own separate community which you can admin to your hearts content then HU provide instructions how to do it. Why not do this instead?
I will say no more about this after today. I guess if that's what the majority want on here, and the site owners and HU are happy with it then it's democracy in action and I will bow to the majority decision. After all there are other mental health sites on here which wouldn't allow one member to set up sites within their site.
It's an incredible help to lonely people who would not otherwise have a regular means to reach out to other people. They are not gonna post continuously and therefore stay lonely and miserable. HU can see that as well as 90%+ of other people. As for eltism & separatism? How ridiculous! Besides that, I have maybe 50 different people on my 8 chatlines. That's 50 out of 26,000+. Even if it were a hundred, are you really going to complain about what .4% of the people are doing?
No they aren't but they are all free to join in with everyone else here and this is what we do after all - support and help each other. We should all be encouraged to chat in here rather than forming numerous separate groups within a perfectly adequate site.
There might be thousands on the site but only a few actually post and then you 'recruit' them for your sites. But like I said it appears the site owners are fine with this and it's not up to me if everyone else wants it after all.
I have noticed that's it seems to be mainly the younger women whom you encourage to join your pm's though?
Not true at all. I have some guys and a bunch of women who are in the 50's+. I seek the ones who seem to indicate they are isolated and in need of some lasting friendship. Since I am only on my sites just a small prcentage of the time, I don't even interact with the chatees all that much. I do add encouragement her and there and try to show everyone equaly that there is a place they can come to often to get strong support. I have no way of knowing who is what when I ask if someone would like to join. Maybe this is becoming a bit petty? Or is it becoming a witchhunt against guys talking to any women as this site seems to promote? Now that is elitisism & separatism! I accept all equally.
Well people make friends on here and then pm them etc. It takes time to build a friendship after all and I don't think 'instant' friends can work.
I apologise if I was wrong about the young women but some of them have told me they have been hassled on here by men before wanting to date them. Some men (and women?) clearly want to use this as a dating site.
However I have said my piece on this and it is my last word. There are other mental health sites on here so everyone has a choice of which ones to join.
It seems to work all too well. People need a place to be able to return to often, even late at night. My chatlines provide that for them. They absolutely love that. Many strong friendships are formed within days. It's all good. I do not have any agenda at all. In fact, my beloved and I are about as happy as can be. Hypercat, I promise you there is nothing nefarious about this. I am paying back God, my counselor and my faith by helping others. Paying it forward if you will. That's all.
There are lots on here later at night. I don't believe strong friendships can be formed within days either and I think too often this can just end in tears. This forum is open 24/7 after all and it would surely be better for everyone to be on here to share and be there for each other?
No one is gonna keep posting....No one. I've posted over 30 times and I don't keep posting! People need a gentle group setting where they can come to talk about whatever they want, whenever they want. They need to be connected to a group, an extended family, if you will. It's awesome to those who are at their loneliest. I was talking on my newest chatline to a woman in her 50's last night at 4am, my time. Though we only talked briefly, she thanked me over and over for being there at that time of the night to talk to her. She was lonely and needed to feel grounded or connected to something. That's what my effort is all about!
And that is exactly what this forum is for surely?
She told me posting made her nervous. This chatline does not. Her, me and several others struck up a strong rapport right away. Now she doesn't feel near as lonely because she knows there is someone to talk to at nearly any time of the day. She doesn't have to post to achieve it either. She told me the thought put a smile on her face where there had been a frown. Since I'm going to continue on anyway, why are we having this confab? I have made more than 20 good friends among the 50 or so people on my chatlines. They respect me, like me and appreciate what I'm trying to do for them. That's the kind of world I like living in. And if I need someone to talk to immediately, I can turn to anyone of them. It's all good as far as I'm concerned.
Kenster1, AmitCA85, apps_fun, Dominic1117, aaronm, newcomit6, floydbehot, spc1875, sad_sausan, tbone019, and justsomedude were invited to the chat lines because they seemed to need the companionship. None were young females. All were male. At least 2 required extra work and had to be spoken to and monitored carefully regarding inappropriate behavior by JEG325, my fiance, with whom I enjoy a very, very close romantic relationship. I do not share him and he does not prey on young females. You are confused and your accusations are unwelcome. Please find something else constructive to do with your time. Volunteer work is always a good place to start. I can help you if you need ideas.
JEG325 in reply to
SP, the offer below is available to you to. If you want in, let me know,
I am interested! Please send info.
Like I said, our groups contain 12 to 16 people on average. The newest one is Circle Of Friends 5. It currently has 9 people and was just launched yesterday. Circle Of Friends 2B is the most active chatline and has 15 people. There is room for one or 2 more people. To be a member I simply add your username to my chatline list. These chatlines are on my personal message thread here and completely priivate. Only you and the people you are chatting with can see your messages. To talk on a chatline, simply wait until your chat button at the top of the page turns orange. Tap it and it will show what chatlines are active at the moment. Click onto the the one you want. Like I said, 2B is the most active & 5 is the newest. I moderate and administer the chatlines very carefully. We do not permit bullying, sexual content, profanity or illegal activities. Our people are sweet, nice members from this site. They all know how you feel and they all offer a friendly, 'extended family' atmosphere. In time, some of our people have become best of friends. There is also a writing group if you're interested. What say you?
Thanks, please add me to both 2B and 5.
Please let me know when I am added so I know when l can post. Thanks!
I'll add you in a few minutes....Look forward to talking with you!
You are in. I left you a message on both chatlines. Your chat button should be lit up orange. Click it on and then select which chatline you wish to respond to. After you click on to that, there will be a message box on the page, followed by blue send button. Type your message and hit send. You are then set to chat with whomever is on the line at any given time. Enjoy, my friend! The chatlines are most active 6am to 10pm, EST. Thye can, however be active at just about anytime. Have a blessed day!
Thank you!! 
Looking forward to it!
You are more than welcome!
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