Self Worth at a low this week.

[LibraryLove]

Some days when I'm feeling super low, like I have been this whole week, I think about all the things I've done wrong, dumb stuff or dumb things I've said. I think about past friendships and how it doesn't feel like I can hold on to any. I don't have any friendships from high school. I thought I had great friendships in college then they decided to form a clique when four of them got an apartment together and do all these special trips and not include me in them. It took me forever when I got out of college to start making friends again, and I thought I had when I had to work this retail position for a while, but we all started going our separate ways and I saw they're all still talking to each other and not me.

And I can't help but think what the heck am I doing wrong?? What is so wrong about me that people don't like? I don't think I'm a mean person but maybe I am. Maybe I come off as too desperate, or too weird or too boring or too anxious. I have no idea. And I kinda wish people would just tell me.

My therapist told me its just my social anxiety, but I don't know if it is when the evidence feels so overwhelming. And if it's not something I'm doing, then what is it?

Someone once told me it was a sacrifice of their time to spend time with me. So maybe that's it? People were just friends with me because they felt bad for me? I was their charity work and now that we don't have to see each other every day they can forget about me?

And then other times it feels like people don't talk to me because they have other people they'd rather hang out with. They have other people to go to, and they think I do too. But I don't. I feel like I have no one here.

[HisAngel]

While I can relate somewhat to your life, I have found myself focusing on what I did wrong, or thought I did, in every relationship I've had. Unfortunately, all that did for me was bring me down further.

You can certainly all those former friends about it, but I doubt they will be straight up with you. Try to, instead, sit down and write what you know about you to be good. This is going to be extremely difficult at first as your mind will continually go backwards and say " but ". Don't let it stay in that negative thought area. Refocus on the positives. Then, work on sharing all those positives with yourself EVERY MORNING and go out and share them with the world.

Trust me when I say that your outlook on yourself directly related to the health of any relationship. 💕 yourself. Be kind to yourself. Then, 💕 others.