Hi I can relate to what you Are saying I think you about like myself I hate taking medication that can effect the way I feel and my biggest fear is not having control.
I started lexapro about 2.5years ago I was only on 5mg for a very long time about 2 years. Everyone would say there is no way that 5mg is strong enough to do anything but it worked for me.
Then 4 months ago I had my second child and got very sick after birth which unfortunately heightened my anxiety again. I went back to doc and she told me to go straight to 20mg I was like no way I knew it would be to much. So I increased to 10mg and felt terrible for a few weeks. Then it started to work so I went up to 15mg and that’s were I am now and so far so good.
What I can suggest is take the medication at night that’s what I do. Just before bed that way you don’t fixate on all the side effects and don’t notice them as much.
Give yourself time axiety is a crazy thing and a lot of the time you think it’s the medicine making you feel unwell when it’s actually the anxiety.
Hope this helps you sometimes just knowing you not alone ❤️