Pretending it’s my last: Today I’ll... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Pretending it’s my last

Starrlight profile image
44 Replies

Today I’ll pretend it’s my last to see how giving I can be with more care and love than usual. Take extra time listening and imagining what it’s like in others shoes and hopefully make someone a nice memory.

Best to you all I love each one of you oh and I’m loving myself; don’t forget yourself. This will be a challenge since I feel sad and like I want to be alone. Trying not to feel pressure so holding onto peace that I feel deep down.

I’ve already been inspired by some of you today so thank you ☺️ 🙏

Anyone want to try this with me? It will be nice to see what we can make of this one day that we are not promised.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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Starrlight profile image
Starrlight
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44 Replies

You give of yourself all the time..please know this. I love this post...thank you so very much sis! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Ha yeah I do. I guess I want this day to really count ya know, make it something very special. And truthfully I want this to be my last.

in reply to Starrlight

You want this to be your last day?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

In a way I do, yes. I am tired of fighting but I just went out and fought for my son at school as he was having trouble with his teacher so anyway no when I think of my kids I know I can’t go but part of me wants to very badly it’s a fight against that part of me every day.

in reply to Starrlight

Starrlight I've been fighting this every day for days...every minute...every second. I know how hard it is. I do. I keep reaching out. And I keep falling back.

I feel like a burden to those around me. I have even become afraid to post. Feeling like an attention seeker.

So please know I'm walking in your shoes. I'm kneeling and begging and praying just like you.

And damn it hurts. But not enough to hurt those that love us.

Please stay. I will if you will.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Ok Ghostrider. I hear you and you are important, your voice, your feelings. Can you let them out here to me, well I guess you have a bit good for you and thank you. It’s good to discuss.

Do you ever find it a comfort to know that you could do it tomorrow, like only as a last resort sort of thing like don’t let yourself do it just dream about it? It may be so wrong and maybe even a scary thing to think to even pretend I don’t know but I do know thinking there some sort of an end some day is comforting... until I ponder going to hell. 😔

in reply to Starrlight

Yes I understand. I get so overwhelmed with life that I am crying, shaking. And I tell myself I'm done. I'm giving up. And I feel relief.

I don't have to deal with it anymore. I let it go for a while.

So yes. I understand.

This is a coping mechanism. Suicidal ideation that is common but many won't admit to or talk about. The thought but not the intent.

It can get scary sometimes. I hate that life, depression, anxiety, pushes us to this place where death seems the only comfort.

I have never replied to a post as I came here desperate, hopeless, and struggling. I am still desperate and struggling but I have the tiniest bit of hope and I had to tell you I understand. Because I do.

But we must stay if we can.

I would give anything to be there to hold your hand.

Because I need it too.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Your words are beautiful. Like you. I am holding your hand. Thank you 😊 🙏 .

in reply to Starrlight

And I am holding yours.

Please don't let go.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Ok

aaronm profile image
aaronm

I love you all and myself as well. Your great on this site star! Your one of the best!

in reply to aaronm

She is..now we have to get her to know it!! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Awww my sis 🥰 thanks for being here!!!

in reply to Starrlight

I'm your fungus...hard to get rid of..I put a post up for you! Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy & hugs sis!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Wow 😮 you are the best!

in reply to Starrlight

No my dear sis YOU are!! Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and hugs!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to aaronm

That means a lot to me coming from you...thank you Aaronm how are you doing today?

aaronm profile image
aaronm in reply to Starrlight

I'm doing well but I have sadness for my wife who is sick at home with 10 kids 2 of the kids which are also sick. The baby has RSV. 😭😭

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to aaronm

Oh no best to you and your wife but what is RSV?

aaronm profile image
aaronm in reply to Starrlight

Copied from web md

Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a common, and very contagious, virus that infects the respiratory tract of most children before their second birthday.

For most babies and young children, the infection causes nothing more than a cold. But for a small percentage, infection with RSV can lead to serious problems such as bronchiolitis, which is inflammation of the small airways of the lungs, or pneumonia, which can become life-threatening.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to aaronm

Oooh hope baby feels better soon. Stay strong my friend.

NCAQuilter profile image
NCAQuilter in reply to aaronm

What a frightening situation, to have a baby that sick. I am praying for the best of health soon, for your loved ones.

aaronm profile image
aaronm in reply to NCAQuilter

Thank you.

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

I’m with you ,your a beacon of star bright starrlight 😊🌟..ps are you still snowed in

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Sillysausage234

Awww a huge star hug for you (((((((((((((((((((((( ⭐️ Alan ⭐️)))))))))))))))))))))

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to Starrlight

🥰 wowza that feels good lol xx

Catwoman2018 profile image
Catwoman2018

You are amazing ((((starlight))))!!! You inspire us and we love you! Keep on shining your beautiful light here, and I'm going to be there for anyone who needs support, your light gives me strength. Lots of ((( hugs ))) from me to You! xx :)

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Catwoman2018

Awww I was just thinking some depressing thoughts and you certainly made me smile. Your light is giving me strength and I feel warmer lol thank you sooooo!

NCAQuilter profile image
NCAQuilter

Your day sounds awesome! Bringing your shining starlight to all you meet. So long as you are pretending it is your last day, you will make others happy. I'm going to try to do as you are. This is a happy quest, and I feel good just thinking of ways I can brighten others lives. Thank you! Again, you have brightened my day.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to NCAQuilter

Thank you 🙏 😊 for pretending with me. Happy Quest; love that, yes. You gave me a great smile; thank you so my friend!

NCAQuilter profile image
NCAQuilter in reply to Starrlight

We can be Donna Quixote! Tilting at Windmills and depression!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

I know she is an author. Is that a title of hers?

Boyshape profile image
Boyshape

I'm with you (^_-). Giving when you feel you have so little for yourself is an act of great kindness.... IV withdrawn from society the last 3 years since the death of my faience, retreated so far it's just me and my cats in my life, all else has been shut out. I joined this group..... My first connection with people just a week ago... And your positivity does feed my hope for better days for us all...

I'm gradually starting to venture outdoors, and the world is very different than it was a few years ago... But I have a small woods near where I live and have decided to go ground myself in nature and kick the leaves in the ground with care free abandon.... If just for the moment.

Thank you for your post... It shows we can all make a difference... Without even knowing it with those simple acts of kindness. 🕊️🤍

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Boyshape

You sound like a truly beautiful person. I’m very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how that feels. My heart hurts for you right now. I think kicking the leaves in the woods is awesome therapy. If it’s not to cold, feel your bare feet on the ground. Wish I could kick leaves with you. Stay strong my friend.

Boyshape profile image
Boyshape in reply to Starrlight

It was wet and muddy but still a joy to be amongst nature. I found a lone simple wooden Cross that never used tro be there just in the undergrowth. I don't know what it signifies or commemorates, but with all that is going on a took a long moment just looking at it...

Thank you for your kind words... I'm just trying to refind my feet in this world.. Your welcome to come kick social distanced leaves anytime (^_-)

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Boyshape

So cool

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Your amazing ❤️ We all love you we are all in This together 😊

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Hb2003

(((((((((Hb))))))) we are

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Starrlight

❤️😊

Iammesues profile image
Iammesues

You are inspiring to me. I don’t currently have your will for pursuing happiness, but I aspire to. You really do represent star light

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Iammesues

❤️ ✨ ((((((((((((( hug)))))))))))))) ✨ ❤️

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Starrlight

Hugs back ❤️😊

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Hb2003

😊 ☮️

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to Starrlight

😊 I always look forward to see your posts❤️😊

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