It is currently 4:00 am as I am typing this and I am still not able to fall asleep. Everyone else in my home is asleep. I just can’t bring myself to sleep. I put my phone down and close my eyes. I try to go to sleep, but my thoughts fight it. My mind doesn’t want to be quiet. My brain doesn’t want to shut off. I’m drained. I’m tired.
I know that it’s taking its toll on my body too. My hair is falling out worse than ever. Some days I can go 2-3 days without showering and it’s like it doesn’t Phase me. When I do shower though it’s amazinggggg.
This insomnia will cause me to sleep all day tomorrow, or most of it anyway. It causes me a great difficulty to get out of bed at all.
It sucks for my 3 year old. I feel so bad for him. I feel guilty. It affects him as much as it does me because tomorrow I will have zero energy to do anything. I think it’s unfair to him. I barely play with him. I am dragging myself out of bed, just trying to make him breakfast and do other things around the house.
I just want to know how do people deal with insomnia....When will this ever stop? It’s a revolving cycle between the depression, anxiety, insomnia, and the loneliness.
I hate depression, I hate anxiety. I hate the factors that are making it all worse for me.
#DeeperIntoTheHoleEveryTime