Living alone with severe anxiety

[Girlbali]

I am 34 years old woman. 3 years ago I had my first panic attack 3 weeks after my father passed away from a heart attack. Since then I changed basically from a being at the prime of my career to a zombie basically over night. I got series of bad anxiety, was rushed to ER 6 times. I took 2 months break from work. Went to check my problem with all specialists I could find in the hospital.All came back ok. Slowly after 3 years I became better. I've decided to pursue my dream to work in Bali.One that I've put on hold due to being sick. Fast forward, life was good on Bali until recently I've started to get anxiety attacks again. I suspected this to happened due to being alone in an unfamiliar place with people who doesn't know my condition. And tonight I'm having a massive anxiety attack in the middle of the night, alone in my room without anyone to talk to. I feel like this is the worst one I've had in a long time. Chest hurts and heart racing for a few hours now but I just can't calm down. I hope someone can help me to overcome this anxiety when alone like this. I wish I could have someone to talk to now

[ma65]

Hi girlbali, iam Mick hope your feeling abit better, try not to feel alone there are people out there listening.

[Girlbali in reply to ma65]

Hi Mick. I've felt better now knowing there are people who is listening. This really help

[ma65 in reply to Girlbali]

Thats good to hear. Iam nearly 10000 miles away from you but a second away on the internet 🤔

[Girlbali in reply to ma65]

Thank you so much mick. Just knowing that someone is awake at 4am bali time to chat really helped a lot not to focus too much on the pain and the scary thought of being alone here.

[ma65 in reply to Girlbali]

Its not a problem. So will you stay up now 😴

[Girlbali in reply to ma65]

Yes,trying to get back to sleep. Altho its scary. Hoping to get enough rest for work in the morning😵

[ma65 in reply to Girlbali]

Good idea get your sleep in. Sweet dreams.

[Girlbali in reply to ma65]

Thank you Mick☺️

[souljapods]

wowww i would love to visit bali one day, thats dope that u get to work there! i used to struggle with panic attacks constantly, at some point i was having 5-6 a day, and was having one every night when i was trying to fall asleep. i also was obsessed that there was something physically wrong with me, and got an mri of my brain, and an ultrasound and ekg of my heart because i was having a constant rapid heartrate and having heart palpitations. all came back clear. for a couple years i hardly left the house at all, and i quit all of my hobbies and extra curriculars and gave up on school. it has now been a year since ive had a full blown panic attack! my recovery is due to the fact that i attended a therapeutic boarding school for 5 months, where i was unable to call home but once a week, and i was unable to leave but once a week with staff. i was forced to go to school as otherwise i would receive a consequence. so my main advice to you is to push yourself through the anxiety attacks. force yourself to do something while youre having the panic attack, force yourself to continue working if you are at work while having a panic attack. if you have a panic attack at night, force yourself to lay in bed and continue trying to fall asleep. i know this seems near impossible, as panic attacks feel so much like heart attacks, strokes, and so many other dangerous health things, but the fact is that its not and the anxiety can. not. hurt. you. i think the main thing that helped me through my anxiety was reminding myself that anxiety couldnt hurt me even though it felt so real. change your mindset from one of “im having a panic attack what do i do!” to “im having a panic attack, but it can not hurt me”. try to see panic attacks as less powerful and scary and more “stupid”. i found that viewing panic attacks as a silly, powerless thing helped me cope with them. i wish u the best! panic attacks suck, especially when they interrupt good things in ur life. do not let stupid panic attacks get to you and ruin your dreams. you are an intelligent, strong, living human being! anxiety has nothing on you.

[Girlbali in reply to souljapods]

Thank you souljapods for everything that you have written here. It almost made me cry. Reading all the things that you've been through are exactly what I am having too. Accepting the job and moving to Bali was the scariest thing I've ever done. To get out of my safe zone with health condition that I'm not sure has healed.Altho doctors said I'm totally fine. The body just keep on coming up with new synptoms. I keep on worrying. How could I had a good 8 hours sleep and woke up feeling like the luckiest woman to be living in beautiful island yesterday and suddenly turned into someone who is very sick and just trying to survive tonight. I'm used to hv all the support I need from family and close friends and now I need to learn to fight this on my own.Glad that I can share this with the online community and meet people like you to give me encouragement.

[souljapods in reply to Girlbali]

im so thankful to hear that my comment had that much of an impact on u i can completely relate with having one new symptom after another from anxiety. my first physical symptom was head pain, then it was heart cramps and pain, then it was a falling sensation when i would try to go to sleep, then it was a constant tingling feeling in my whole body, etc. etc. 😩 as if feeling anxious isnt enough, anxiety has to manifest itself as physical pain too. i hope that ur physical symptoms slowly mellow out with time as mine did. im definitely gonna send positive energy ur way

[Girlbali in reply to souljapods]

Souljapods, I'm so glad I get to chat with you tonight and know that someone understand and experience the same things I'm experiencing now. I want to fight this problem and I hope I can be where you are right now and have that positivity in me too. Everyone knows I'm healthy and not dying from any life threatening illness,I just need to convinced my mind that😭

[tamka38]

Sorry to hear that what u are going through. Am hear if u need someone

To talk too I use to go to the ER daily

[Girlbali in reply to tamka38]

Hi tamka38. Sorry to hear about your experience to the ER.I totally understand the feeling. I was once rushed to ER on my work trip alone , sent by the hotel worker in the middle of the night.Had my mom worried and got on a flight to see me at the hospital. I stayed at the hospital for 2 nights because the doctor wanted to make sure nothing was wrong with me. Unfortunately that was not the only one. Had series of emergency to ER for the whole year.After being diagnosed with anxiety, I stopped going to hospital. But I still get all the physical symptoms like racing heartrate, chest pain (the scariest one since my dad died from heart attack and I imagine having the same)Sometime I manage to calm down and the symptoms would fade away but there are times like now that its noe working and all these physical symptoms esp with chest is making me more anxious

[pink318]

Hi Girlbali,

I had my first anxiety attack when I went to an island with my husband. I was terribly anxious and scared, my heart was beating fast and wanted to scream. For so many years, I struggled with fear of riding on the boat. It was few weeks ago when I tried to ride and I was so scared. I thought I was OK and ready but when I stepped on the boat I was shaking.

Anxiety was so difficult to deal with but I thank God that I experienced peace and comfort after singing and praying. I pray that you will also overcome anxiety attacks. We are here for you, so please feel free to posts anytime and I hope this forum may help you not to feel alone and lonely. God bless and I hope you will enjoy Bali.

[Girlbali in reply to pink318]

Hi pink318. Thank you so much on your encouragement. I do feel a lot better after I write my worries in this forum and getting the support from the community here. I'm glad that you found peace from singing and praying. I never really know how to pray for inner peace myself, but I wish I could learn it.

[pink318 in reply to Girlbali]

Hi Girlbali,

It's good to hear that you are doing well.

Every time I pray, I believe that God can hear me. Praying is about telling him how I really feel. If I am scared, I would tell Him that I'm really scared and I want to feel His love and peace. Sometimes the answer to my prayer will not come immediately so I sing praises to Him then eventually I will experience His peace that I cannot even understand. It's a beautiful feeling of security. I hope this helps, please message me if you need someone to talk to, God bless.

[Julie_z]

Your story is so amazing and brings me hope. Setbacks are real pains but they pass as well. Good thing nothing lasts forever! I’m glad your better and that you’ve found hope in this group. Welcome!

[Witsend8]

Try to focis on point on the floor, breath in deeply, then out slowly for as long as you can. Repeat it snd focus on breathing as deeply as you can. Repeat, hope this helps to calm you. Learnt from mind councillors, im alone and after few goes, ot helps me. Good luck xx