29 Years of Anxiety

[CloudAtlasMoon]

Hi there.

I’m new to this forum. Is that what this is? A forum? Anyway..I’ve had severe anxiety since I was 14 years old. I still remember my first episode. I thought I had stomach cancer. I convinced myself I was sick and I was dying.

Since then, I have diagnosed myself with SO MANY ailments....all of which would kill me.

I won’t go through all of my episodes, but the worst that comes to mind...I was at work...out in the field and felt a tinge in my left arm & chest. I 100% knew that I was having a heart attack. I left the work meeting...ran out...jumped in my car and began driving myself to the hospital. My heartbeat became so loud, I couldn’t hear anything else. Convinced I was dying, I let go of the steering wheel, laid my head back and closed my eyes. The car veered off the road and wrecked in a ditch outside of a hardware store. My head hit the steering wheel. I was STILL alive. I ran into the store and told the cashier I was having a heart attack. Even though I was only in my early 30’s, I was very convincing. During the ambulance ride to the ER...my heart rate and blood pressure began returning to normal. The EMT looked at me. Very kindly, he asked, “Have you ever had a panic attack before?” Embarrassed, I was honest and told him yes. He said, “You’re going to be fine. When we get to the hospital, let’s see if we can get you in with a therapist. Are you okay with that?”

Over the years...I’ve still had many more episodes. I’m married with 3 awesome kiddos.

My wife does her best with my anxiety.

All of my children have witnessed episodes over the years.

I need somewhere to go for support and guidance when I’m in a sensitized and manic state. I’d like to come here from time to time if I can.

I’ve had a rough month or so.

I’ve had some ailments that I’ve worsened in my mind through the holidays.

I’m dealing with them.

That’s it for now.

[Agora1]

Hi CloudAtlasMoon, Welcome to this amazing anxiety support group. That was quite a

tale of your first anxiety attack. It's probably one of our greatest fears in losing control of

our emotions when in that state. But apparently, you had your wits about you even with

all that happened, to get yourself the help you needed. The ER. Looking back, I'm hoping

your realize that it couldn't possibly have been connected to your heart and have you survive all you went through.

We are inviting you to come to this safe place whenever you feel the need for support

and understanding. We do not judge, we comfort and make you not feel so alone in

dealing with these issues. So my new friend, welcome to this virtual family of anxious

men and women, where we learn from each other's experiences. Stay strong. Hope to

see you back on line frequently.

[Calm_mama in reply to Agora1]

Yes- What Agora said Looking forward to having you on the forum. You'll find incredibly wonderful, supportive and encouraging folks here!

[Agora1 in reply to Calm_mama]

xx

[APOR2017]

cloudatlasmoom I am so thankful that you are alive! Anxiety attacks can be fierce and can definitely feel like a heart attack. I am so sorry that you have faced this but it sounds like you are on the right track. welcome to the forum and know that you are not alone. You are so special! We are here for you.

[CloudAtlasMoon]

Thank you everyone. 😊

I have had a better couple of days as of late. I have been running again. That ALWAYS helps. Exercise has always been excellent therapy for me.