I’m new to this forum. Is that what this is? A forum? Anyway..I’ve had severe anxiety since I was 14 years old. I still remember my first episode. I thought I had stomach cancer. I convinced myself I was sick and I was dying.
Since then, I have diagnosed myself with SO MANY ailments....all of which would kill me.
I won’t go through all of my episodes, but the worst that comes to mind...I was at work...out in the field and felt a tinge in my left arm & chest. I 100% knew that I was having a heart attack. I left the work meeting...ran out...jumped in my car and began driving myself to the hospital. My heartbeat became so loud, I couldn’t hear anything else. Convinced I was dying, I let go of the steering wheel, laid my head back and closed my eyes. The car veered off the road and wrecked in a ditch outside of a hardware store. My head hit the steering wheel. I was STILL alive. I ran into the store and told the cashier I was having a heart attack. Even though I was only in my early 30’s, I was very convincing. During the ambulance ride to the ER...my heart rate and blood pressure began returning to normal. The EMT looked at me. Very kindly, he asked, “Have you ever had a panic attack before?” Embarrassed, I was honest and told him yes. He said, “You’re going to be fine. When we get to the hospital, let’s see if we can get you in with a therapist. Are you okay with that?”
Over the years...I’ve still had many more episodes. I’m married with 3 awesome kiddos.
My wife does her best with my anxiety.
All of my children have witnessed episodes over the years.
I need somewhere to go for support and guidance when I’m in a sensitized and manic state. I’d like to come here from time to time if I can.
I’ve had a rough month or so.
I’ve had some ailments that I’ve worsened in my mind through the holidays.
I’m dealing with them.
That’s it for now.