Help: Hi guys. I struggle with a lot of... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Sunshine151515
Sunshine151515

Hi guys.

I struggle with a lot of issues in my relationship at times. I’m only 19. So is he. Recently we had a discussion about something. I wanted to ask you guys something. What do you think a relationship is like? Do you think that two people are always cute, caring and all mushy with each other or like you also have that side to you where you do things with each other that you would generally do with your guy friends or girl friends?

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Relationships very and mean different things to different people. When in a relationship be with someone who generally has your same views and beliefs is my thought.

I love my husband but he also grinds my gears, gets on my nerves yet is my biggest supporter. Sometimes he is tooooo supportive, he talks to much is too calm and is very caring. Many of this traits I am the opposite, he is my better half. We laugh about the silliest things to us such as commercials, what someone is wearing and even songs, yet we argue about him taking food off my plate, what he wants to spend money on of which I do not agree, where to eat, taking a sweater in case of bad weather, where we are sitting, taking my pillow.

Everyone one and every relationship is different and I love my husband who by the way LOVES to be with me always and myself personally prefer to be alone most of the time. A relationship is what YOU want.

I hope this helps.

Do you think you need to have that crazy side with each other? The kind you have with your girl/guy friends? Like is it bad if you’re not like that with each other?

He is my friend a best friend however, my relationship with some friends who I have known longer then my husband sometimes that is just a special bond we have. Somethings I personally do prefer to do with my friends because we have always done that however, nothing that would put my relationship in trouble.

Would it be possible to be more specific? I have know my best friend since I was 15yrs and my husband not until I turned 30. Thinking to when I was 19 and what I was up to I really would say yes, I wanted to do certain things with my girlfriends because I had fun and preferred to do certain things with them.

Do you think it’s important to want to do those crazy things that dont make sense but just make you laugh with your boyfriend too? Or you know that area is for friends because that’s what friends are for?

There’s no real rules for a relationship. Have a deep respect for each other and treat each other kindly. Be yourself, you shouldn’t have to change your personality or be uncomfortable being silly , having fun , or having the serous talks .

Your guy/girlfriend should be one of your closest/best friends also.

That helps alot. Thank you so much 💓

It might sound weird but if he is able to enjoy it as I do with my friends then yes! I don't intentionally leave him out and did always try and experience those things with him and sometimes people just enjoy doing certain things with certain people. Sometimes no harm is meant or to hurt anyone's feelings.

You are young and everything right now won't mean the same sometimes 1 yr from now. If you feel you are intentionally being left out and/or don't agree with his reasonings speak up and don't deal with those things. Even if he or anyone else things it's ok doesn't matter. Be in the relationship with a person who respects your feelings.

Every relationship varies and there is no structural way you need to be. Just be the relationship you want.

Hey there! I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years now and i can tell you, it’s all about balance. Doing stuff as if you were friends is totally ok, it means that you have that kind of trust; more if you’re in public. However, i do feel like a couple needs to take a few moments to be cheesy and compliment each other and basically let them know how much you love them just so they don’t forget.

Sunshine151515
Sunshine151515 in reply to slr17

With me and him, it’s like we’re always really cute with each other and like we say i love you’s alot and like we’re romantic and caring. Is that enough? Do you think we need to feel the way we feel around our friends too? I’m just confused

slr17
slr17 in reply to Sunshine151515

Only if we’re talking about trust.

I don’t how much you’ve been together, but at least for me we were very romantic and cheesy at first (we still are but not as much) and with time we started gaining each other’s trust to the point in which i talk to him about anything (including gross stuff you’d probably wouldn’t talk about on a first date). That’s the kind of trust you would have with a friend. That’s the trust and confidence you should have with your partner. Of course, it grows with time. If you think you’re too early in the relationship, don’t worry, there’s no need to rush anything. If you are happy being romantic, then enjoy it. The friendish confidence comes with time.

Sunshine151515
Sunshine151515 in reply to slr17

We’ve been together for almost 4 years now. We have a lot of trust between us. We share things we wouldn’t talk about to anyone else. It’s just the fun part, i meant

I don't think there is a clear and absolute definition of a relationship. My view of relationships comes from what I believe in the Bible. With my husband, I think the relationship should look selfless, encouraging, friendship, differences that strengthen us, honesty, loyalty, empathy, creativity and more. With friends and boyfriends/girlfriends, there is a different look to them, since it is not the intimate relationship of a marriage. With family, it looks different, as well. The bottom line, though, is that with all relationships, they take work, they should include respect, unconditional love and forgiveness. Some things will look weird to other people, but as long as they are not wrong, abusive or evil, people are just different and everyone's relationships will look different.

And as for doing things with people, there are plenty of things that are kind of only fun with my friends and some things that my husband and I can enjoy together!

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