Am here contemplating taking all my medication 2 months worth at once 560 tablets at once I have just had enough of life am at my last straw I can't cope anymore am in floods of tears
Taking all at once : Am here... - Anxiety and Depre...
Taking all at once
50 Replies
•
Lordzeus, please talk to us. You need help right now.
Is anyone with you that can get you to the ER or call 911?
What is happening that's making you go over the edge?
Lordzeus , I am glad you put up this post and reached out. There are sometimes in life when things can seem pointless and too much to want to continue BUT nothing stays the same. I think during these really tough times don't really want our life to end just the sadness or other difficult emotions to stop. I don't know what words will help ease your suffering but you are not alone and it will ease. Sometimes trying to view yourself from the outside looking in and seeing that emotions are not who we are, they come and they go and we don't have to hold onto them. Don't take the pills , if you have any friends or family contact someone or keep talking here. Hold tight friend it will pass 💜
Call 911 and get help. If you take those pills you may end up in a coma or in a vegetative state for the rest of your life, or be conscious with no way of communication.
Everything am a let down to everyone and I feel that everyone will be happy if I wasn’t here the world would be a better place am a failure in life and love
Orangeblossom85• in reply to
These are just chemicals in your head. Don’t believe in this. You can get better!!!!
That's so true...I felt so bad last week that I was thinking of hurting myself, then I changed 1 medication and it made a world of difference. I'm glad I didn't attempt it...my husband goes through the same type of depression so he was able to monitor me, which I definitely needed at the time.
• in reply to
You're not a letdown to me...or a failure.
I will not be happy if you are not here.
Because I'm just like you. And I deserve to live. Even on my worst days when I don't believe it myself.
Even then...I deserve to live.
Tomorrow may be better. There's only one way to know. Give tomorrow a chance my friend.
I love you. I need you to be there when I'm where you are.
You matter my friend.
• in reply to
I cried all day yesterday. Today I'm ok.
Not perfect...but ok, and here for you my friend.
It's amazing what 24 hours can mean to a person dealing with depression/anxiety.
Jules001• in reply to
Glad to hear it, baby steps are better than nothing. We're all just doing the best we can with what we have. Try not to be so hard on yourself, you deserve to be here as much as the next guy/gal. Chemical imbalances have nothing to do with what type of person you are and its not your fault. I'm glad you posted about it though.
The voices in my head are winning I can’t cope am done
Orangeblossom85• in reply to
I’ve been there! It was all very bad. My life ruined and no hope. I decided I will go to hospital by myself. They have helped me so much!!!! It was the best time in my life. No doctor has ever cared about me so much. Please call the 911 and get help. They will help you!!!
Hey lord! You have kids? Wife/husband? Close friend? Tell me about one person in your life you care about
It sounds like you are as depressed as me...... 5 years ago I got mob bullied along with a colleague at work. The bullying got worse after termination of two of the bullies. I lost my mental health and as the bullying was both mental and physical, I am in pain 24/7, physically and mentally. I lost my stepson to Fentanyl overdose January 1, 2018, and the family trying to blame me, as he was depressed about his mom attempting suicide as I was leaving her because of her narcistic behaviour. I would have rather I died not my stepson. I fight suicide thoughts 24/7. Only reason why I’m here is because I talk or text to people about it. So please understand there’s a reason why we have this site going. Somebody cared enough to start something like this because they cared about people like you and me. Call a suicide hot line, or talk to a good friend now.
Let the tears flow and talk to us lordzeus your not alone. Everyone here is concerned for you. What are you doing right now? Please communicate to us
Please call 911. I have been there, but there was always this resistance to take my life due to my mental illness. I see myself as a warrior , fighting a battle I refuse to lose. Be strong, fight it, you can win the battle. We can help you, because we see the enemy inside ourselves,and fight against it everyday.
I understand deeply. I’ve been struggling with those thoughts a lot lately too. I hope that there is hope for us to finally feel happy with life, but it’s hard to believe that that could happen. Message me any time you’d like to talk. We are battling this beast together, and it’s always nice to speak with people who truly get it.
I sent you a PM .... please answer someone
Please don't do it. I think you are posting because you want someone to talk you out of it. It may be the worst day of your life but it can get better. I promise there is always hope for an improvement tomorrow. I hope you are ok. Please reach out for help.
No please hold on you are strong...so strong. Dont let those lying voices win. Go to your local crisis center if it feel like they are winning which they won't because remember you are strong 💪🙏😇
I’m sorry I’m just now seeing this. I hope everything is settling and you’re feeling a bit better. I don’t have any quick fixes for how you are feeling, but I do have quite a bit I want to say. Your existence is so necessary. So many wonderful things are able to exist because your life was written into the universe. And so many wonderful things are going to be able to take place as you keep living. I don’t know much about you so I don’t know what motivates you or what your dreams are, but I do know so many ideas and things and even people cannot be written into existence without you. If you aren’t married there is potentially a person on earth thinking of you this second (whether you guys know each other or not), if you do not already have kids there are potentially babies (if you want them of course) that can only exist with your life, there is a wonderful career waiting for you or needing you to come back to it. You are needed. If you need to talk just let me know!
Sorry you're in the dark hole, o had a brother who committed suicide at age 19. Problems are temporary, suicide is forever. Your family will left with the pain. I tried suicide as a teenager, I thought just taking Pills would do it? Nothing happened. Though the years I've contemplated suicide many times, I tried looking for a gun. Afraid to tell my doctor for fear he would try to commit me. I'm doing good now. You need to call a suicide hotline, REALLY think this through. Even if you take the pills, it might not work? You could end up a vegetable or brain damaged?
Someone you know would be horribly hurt for the rest of their life if you aren't here! The chemicals in your brain are making you feel this way, not your mind, not your heart. That's a lot of pills you have there. Have you been hoarding your depression pills? If you have, that may be the reason you feel as you do. Please call your emergency number ASAP. We all would be hurt if you left. Want2BHappy has a lot of good advice, as does everyone here. Please listen to us!
What is causing you so much grief? Those you leave behind will suffer from your death if you take all those medications at once. Suicide is the worst death ever. You can share with us. I know your thoughts. I had been there once in my life too. My recent divorce pushed me there. The divorce is over and I am well. I came very close to the edge and almost went over. Thanks to a very loving friend I am alive. Now that divorce process is over and seems so clear now.
Lord, I hope you are sleeping. Please write to us how you feel. We are worrying. And you matter !!!!
Suicide is a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem. even if the problem can't be fixed it can be managed!! Please reconsider @lordzeus
No. Please don’t. Always keep fighting. I too have been there. But fighting is always worth it. I prayed for you.
Please don't do this, I know it feels like things will never get better but that simply isn't true. Do not believe what the voices are telling you, people will not be happy or better off without you. Please listen to what other people are saying, people who have been in your position and made a different decision... There is hope. Praying for you.
Did anybody hear from him?
Am here but the voices are getting louder again and there winning
Orangeblossom85• in reply to
I’m happy Lord!!! You are here !!!
Orangeblossom85• in reply to
Please tell me - why won’t you try to head for emergency? It is my best experience!! I was helped so much!!!!
• in reply toOrangeblossom85
Cause I don't feel worthy of their help
Orangeblossom85• in reply to
Give them chance 
Agora1• in reply to
Lordzeus, I know how frightened you are but to think you are not worthy
of professional help is not true. I agree with everyone on this site, in that
you need professional help. I also have talked with you many times in the
past. Is there no one you can turn to who will call your doctor or take you
into the ER? It's imperative at this point. Don't drive yourself, call the paramedics
and they will safely get you the help you need.
Please zeus, for you and our own peace of mind. We all care. x
Hello_Vivi• in reply to
I'm happy to hear from you. Don't trust those voices, they are not real. You are strong and can get through this. There are people that care about you! Please call the suicide lifeline if you are still feeling this way, they can help talk you through this crisis and help you see that this is not the way out. 1 800-273-8255
You will be safe there and they will take care of you. You will be able to rest! And they will def help you get out of this terrible mindset. You will feel free!
please commit yourself immediately Lordzeus...you have been doing this for months here and just repeating the same actions over and over.... nobody seems to have the right words to say to you and you have been in and out of the hospitals this whole time.....I could not be more sorry for a member here than I am for you.....you never change, your always in this mindset....and I see that only hospitalization and professional care are your only hope now my friend.....please admit yourself into in patient care.....I hope for your sake someone in the professional field is going to come up with some way to help you.
Sooo Happy to hear from you !!!!
I don’t know you, but ... I Care !!
We All Care !!
Everyday can
Everyday seems as though it’s a battle some of us have more people around us that may understand (I lost my 3 loved ones that understood) & no one has knocked on my door nor my husband picked up a book to educate about invisible illnesses, which makes it very hard for us, when others do not want or try to educate themselves to make it easier for you and easier for them. that’s why we are a part of this forum, & no it’s not a physical best friend that u can physically lean on or talk to verbally but, we do feel ‘not alone ‘ ANYMORE, in this big old world. regardless of our situation as you can see by the replies there are many that care about you and have never even met you. today is A different day, the voices that you hear are full of lies, they don’t care !! I know the feeling of feeling unworthy & hopeless, all too well.
what we have to do is a promise ourselves to focus on something that we love whether it’s a hobby or helping others (like this forum) ...
we are all here for a reason, some people battle harder than others and there’s no answer as to why....but I do believe the ones that struggle, as you are and as I am & most of us here ...are the ones with the biggest hearts, that worry more about others than ourselves. As I’ve called it the : bandwagon of the biggest hearts . It’s hard for others to understand if they do not learn about it so inturn its hard for you, hard for us... Stay Strong, stay in touch !! and if you presently have a mental health physician please , please get in touch with them asap & if you do not please find 1 now .. i’m not sure if you are on any medication and sometimes we tend to self diagnose and stop taking it ...but there’s a reason why we have to take our meds (I hate mine !!!! ) and sometimes when we feel like we don’t need it anymore because we are feeling good... the reason is: because our meds are doing their job. You are Worth it and you are worth the time. Here’s a thought :
Just as I told my God child who has been a practicing addict for 20+ years & is now clean & setting an example for others.... but I continued to always tell him I pictured him as a mentor for others ....maybe that is your calling, to help others ...,because you know exactly where they are at and how they feel ....stay in touch !!!
PLEASE!!!!
I have been there. Now I am on prozac and in counseling. Doing better. I felt like I was a failure. But now I have a better perspective and see I'm not so bad.
Please hang on. I know it hurts. I hurt a little today too. But I'm fighting on. You dont realize how you can bless other people, even in small ways. Can you give a smile or hug to someone today? Can you visit a nursing home or a dog pound and give a hug or a hot dog. We all have a spiritual impact just by being alive.
Hope that helps. Feel free to PM me. I will be your friend. I need a friend. I'm suffering some, too, although I am better
I feel worthless useless and that my presence in life is a joke and everyone would be better off if I just disappeared
LovelySnow• in reply to
Life would NOT be better if you disappeared. Are you at home right now? Maybe you can get a hold of someone to help you. You may feel worthless, but we care about you & you are worth a lot.
Hey Lordzeus, I understand your feeling like you have had enough, I too get those feelings but once it passes I’m ok again and find some joy in life. This intense emotional downturn will pass, please reach out to someone instead , ppl are here to talk and if there is someone you can call it might help. I have told my doctor that I have feelings of ending my life and taking all my meds and he says “you will just end up in emergency getting your stomach pumped and embarrassed “ I know it’s not funny but it does make me chuckle when he says this. I try and watch a comedy when I’m down, is there anything you can do that might help you through this?
I feel worthless useless and a failure to everyone and think maybe they all would be better off if I just disappeared am still considering taking all my medication in one go am giving up I can't cope anymore
PrimoB• in reply to
You’re still here lordzeus. You made it another day. You are absolutely worth the time of the ER staff if you decide to go. I had to decide that 4 years ago and now things are in a much better place. Not perfect, but better. You CAN make it.
• in reply to
Hi, I sense you feel humiliated, very depressed, and alone.. Is that why you wish to disappear? Did you know you are not alone. I know how you feel. I know the pain. On your prescription pill box it tells you the dosage to take. The doctor who prescribed your meds trusts you to take only the prescribed dosage. Last year my partner overdosed on 100 pills, my dog alerted me to her unconscious in the tub. She ended up in the hospital and me separating from her due to our marriage being over. Her Son had relapsed and then overdosed causing himself brain damage. Then on New Years Day (my wife had recovered by then with damage to heart and liver,I felt sorry for her and guilty and we had reconciled); then her Son, my step-son overdosed on Fentanyl and died. This wreaked havoc on our lives and we may never be the same. I’m proceeding to separate as my wife refuses to stop being Narcistic, and I just cannot live with her abuse as I had experienced trauma at work causing me to go on disability leave. The environment she created, I could not live in. So now I concentrate my love and care on my dog who loves us both unconditionally. My dog would miss me and it would break his heart if I killed myself. What Im trying to say. Suicide hurts those it leaves behind. My Son when he was a child wanted to be a cop when he grew up. We (my first wife&me) encouraged him to become a policeman and now at 27 he is a Constable. He was devestated over his step brothers suicide. People on the downtown east side of our city are dying at a rate of about 125 per month of overdosing. Jan 28, 2018 my stepson was one of the 128 that died of Fentanyl overdose that month. This epidemic leaves over 1250 families last year without a loved one. My step-son was very depressed. Depression killed my step-son and now my wife and her family blame me (or try to) for him dying. They also blame themselves and I sometimes think if only I had said this or that instead, he’d still be alive.
You know what LZ? You are loved by someone in this world. If you were gone, that someone will be left with a hole in their heart, that only you being alive can fill.
Because of my major depression, I too fight suicide 24/7. Thanks to my dog, people here on healthunlocked-who I can text with, well - I’m still here. I’ve lost my career through employees purposely targeting me, causing me nervous breakdowns and to spiral into a depression so deep that I barely get through each day. I’m very sick with this disease. I too look at my pills count them out and 🤔 think what if? I go to group therapy and look at the beautiful people there suffering with depression and think my God what if they never return??
Im suffering right now with such an ache in my heart that if I could just end the pain. I found that my pain did stop for bits and pieces. In fact my heart was so full of love for a fellow human being that it stopped aching while we were together. My major depression took over and that person decided to break my heart all over again and now I feel in a perpetual state of brokenness. So now I text people here and give encouragement and get encouragement and I’m still feeling unbearably depressed, but you need to find something to grasp ahold of I think. I want you to take ahold of my message of encouragement and to hold on until tomorrow.
At this minute and over the next 5 minutes after you read this, try an exercise...
-Put your finger under your nose to feel your breath. Be aware of your breathing while your breath caresses your finger.
-sit with both feet on the ground and breath out as far as possible and then slowly count to 7 as you inhale.
-then hold the inhaled breath 7 seconds
-then exhale for 7 seconds keeping your finger placed under your nose
-repeat this for only 5 minutes or so.
While doing this be mindful of your breath and concentrate only focusing on the exercise of breathing.
Lordzeus, I think you are as special as anyone else here on this site and on this earth. We all are human and we all need each other. What happened to make you feel so depressed? I think I remember you mentioned something about FB. I’m so sorry you experienced the humiliation. Can I tell you that my heart aches so hard at times over the abuse of my sister and me when we were infants, that at 59 years old I still breakdown and cry. To have grown up being aware that something was wrong with me and then going through counselling for years to recover, and then at 55 being bullied out of my career that I loved and having all the scabs over old wounds being torn off by very bad toxic coworkers perpetrating hate crimes and inhumane treatment of me until I broke down mentally and physically and having to go on disability. It’s something that I’m not able to tell my Son about. I think I can tell you about it because you feel like I do. Like dying. I feel if I’m such a kind hearted person (I would lay down my life for those I love), why am I treated so badly, I might as well kill myself. So I try to put it off-do my breathing exercise. Take my dog out (I have vertigo - when I walk I feel dizzy and need a cane in case I fall over and it helps when I have to stoop to pick up my dogs poop, the cane helps to keep me from falling into his pile of doggy doodoo: the vertigo is from being thrown around -at age 55 by the toxic bullies at work who got pleasure in hitting the brakes on the company vehicles so hard that I would go flying around like a rag doll crashing into something in the buses we were working on). Some people can be cruel if not downright full of toxicity. I stay away from those type, and am often found cowering when one of the company vehicles drive by. So I understand what it feels like to be on the verge of ending my pain via suicide. The thing is what kind of legacy do I want to leave my kids? Oh, my dad figured he would be better off dead then to help me solve this problem I have. So, ya I feel like killing myself. It would resolve my present life of depression anxiety and pain. But then I don’t want to leave those I love with dealing with the pain of losing me-someone who cares and is fighting his demons head on.
Please come and join us in this fight. How can we beat this depression this disease. I’m going to group next week, going to ask the pros about vagus nerve stimulation. I’m going to try to stay alive until then. Can you as well please. We really need you to be involved with us in helping each other live through the pain of depression. I need hugs 🤗 I wish my sister could hug me right now but she fell on some ice and broke her arm. So please someone send me a hug to make me feel better. I won’t bite. I am told by others that I’m a gentleman and that’s true. I don’t want to hurt anyone but we’re all human and sometimes we hurt ourselves and I don’t want you to do that Lordzeus
Youre gonna maks it! Just ask for support!
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