I hate today

[calicat]

Sitting on the bathroom floor crying, again. My boyfriend and I just had an argument about buying a house. I am ready now and he wants to wait a year. I feel like he doesn’t understand me or care about my mental health. Staying where we are now, far from my job and family, is causing me so much anxiety. I feel like we’re stuck, like I’m drowning. What do I do, I’m so scared. I just don’t want to do this anymore. My anxiety has just continued increasing since the fall and I’m overwhelmed.

[Iloveart7]

I'm sorry (((hugs)))

[matt17]

Calicat, that’s a tough situation you’re in. You say you don’t feel like your boyfriend understands your mental health... that can be a big source of anxiety right there. Communication is huge in a relationship. Is this a recurring issue for you guys?

You are doing a great thing reaching out for help. We are here for you. Hang in there.

[calicat in reply to matt17]

Thanks for the response. Communication is a problem, I’m often afraid to bring up topics because he either won’t respond or he’ll get worked up and we can’t talk about it hardy at all. He knows I have anxiety and I even tried meds a few months ago but they weren’t for me. He has anxiety too and I am very understanding about it as that is how I’d want someone to treat me, but his concerns different things than mine does.

[matt17 in reply to calicat]

Hmm. A very interesting dynamic there. I was with someone recently too that had anxiety with certain things. It might be useful to reach out to some others in your support system in that case. Like us! Haha. But also your parents, friends, therapist, etc. Especially in your situation, since you are both on opposite ends of a certain opinion. Maybe you can work something out with family or friends for staying back home (not sure how far that is) once in a while. Hope that helps.

[calicat in reply to matt17]

That’s good advice. I just feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to. It sounds dumb because I have a great family and a few good friends, but I don’t feel like I can truly go to them. Maybe it’s my fear of opening up or fear that they start to dislike the guy Im with which I don’t necessarily want either. I need to look into getting a therapist but I haven’t made the call yet.

[Hidden]

I would suggest taking control of your own life and move where you are comfortable. He can move in a year if you are still communicating. Why do his goals take priority over yours. But its your decision and mental health. Also, I personally wouldn't buy a house with someone I wasn't married to

[calicat in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I don’t think I can move by myself financially (not into a house like we want). The major problem is I think we are financially stable enough now and he does not. But to me it feels like we’re waiting and our life is on pause. Arguing about it makes me second guess everything and I just don’t feel like he sees my side of things but is all about the money.

[Hidden]

Hey Calicat, I am so sorry you were in the bathroom on the floor crying. I can relate to that so much. This time last year, I was pregnant with a baby girl & would lock myself in the bathroom crying my eyes out because my boyfriend was horrible to me. It’s so hard for someone to understand your anxiety. I hope that you have calmed down. If you want to continue this relationship, you have to find a way to be able to communicate. You should be able to tell your partner how you’re feeling without him being mean or hurting your feelings. Relationships take a lot of work, but you guys can come to some sort of compromise. It’s extremely hard to be away from your family. I was in that position myself. I was living so far from my parents who didn’t even like the man that I was with, so I hope that you can spend some time with your family soon. Maybe that will make you feel better. No matter what, I hope you know you’re not alone. You can keep fighting. We are all fighting with you. Stay strong, honey. Xoxoxoxo

[calicat in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. When I’m in the thick of it it’s hard to see clearly. I feel very numb. I don’t know what’s right and how to work through it or if I should work through it. I’m sorry we both spent time crying in the bathroom, but thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.