So it's been a while since ive posted. But Ughhh I'm so fed up. I just want out and its impossible.
It doesn't feel like Christmas, if anything as it gets closer im dreading it more and more. My mum is an alcoholic. She won't get help, im fairly certain she doesn't care she is killing herself and just doesn't care about the people she is hurting.
Ive mentioned it before but dad isnt a well man, thankfully he is in remission from having bown marrow AND blood cancer, but he still isn't well. Naturally he's depressed and has lost all his confidence. It's heartbreaking really. He tries his best, and i couldn't be more proud to call him my dad.
But then u get my mother. Constantly bringing him down more than he already is. Happened again last night, she snuck out while dad went shopping to buy herself booze. Yet she told dad was too sick to go shopping with him. Within minutes she was drunk and dad was oblivious to it. She hurled abuse at him saying "you don't care about anyone other than yourself. Its all about you coz u have 'cancer' but what about the rest of us. You don't care or love your family so why are u even here"
Im disgusted. Thats her husband of 35 years, a poorly man and father to her 3 children. Sure he is hot headed and as kids we thought he was a nightmare and grumpy all the time, but he's our dad, and frankly at 26 years old, sure I've got depression but I'm not a bad human. I dont do drugs, I dont drink, I'm compassionate etc so there's no way he was a bad father. And yet u have mum saying stuff like this? It makes me sick to my stomach.
If anything, dad I feel is the only one who DOES care. Everyday he will come to my room and ask me "how are you feeling?" not just "how's u" etc, but how I'm feeling. Not even just that but he will come and talk to me, and give me company since often I will stay in my room and be alone. Mum doesn't come and check. But dad will every single day without fail. So how dare she tell him he doesn't care about anyone other than himself!? I know it's alchohol talking but gahhh even so, how could she think it.. And it every single time she has a drink, surely deep down she actually believes that and i dont understand how she could
Anywhoo that's my rant. I really needed to vent it out. If uve read this far thank you ❤️ much love and have a merry Christmas