Completely blank

[Caleb524]

I’ve come to realize I suffer immensely with indecisiveness and social anxiety. I doubt everything I think to the point it feels like my mind is barren even though I probably have plenty of background thoughts I can’t even keep track of. I really really crave human connection but I find it intensely difficult to find that. I have trouble asking for help because I don’t necessarily want people to feel like they have to pity me but at the same time part of me wants to feel special, supported, thought of. I just feel full with contradictions, it’s a sort of paralysis. I really don’t believe that anything anyone says will be of much help, words and thoughts have come to fail me. They’re not true and lasting, they have no impact. But I also know that depression isn’t permanent and that the way I’m thinking is not the grim and eternal truth of life. Life is amazing and words can be beautiful and moving, but I’m just so trapped right now. Life is simple and complex. I don’t know how to escape my head.

[Emily16]

I love everything you said. It is so well put. I too crave that same connection.

[Stella180]

I hear you. The battle between social anxiety and craving company to combat loneliness is a tough one. Oh and decision making, it took me 2 hrs tonight to decide what to eat for dinner cos there were pros and cons for every option.

Have you tried practising mindfulness? It can really help to ignore the clutter and focus on the here and now. 5 mins relief from the chattering mind can make a huge difference

[Caleb524 in reply to Stella180]

I have engaged in mindfulness practices, that is one of the few things I trust in working towards wellness. Keeping disciplined about it is one of the most important and challenging aspects of practicing mindfulness it seems.Thanks for the response

[magicshoes1998]

I'm in the middle of the same situation you're going through man, it sucks. I used to be really indecisive and anxious, but I just stopped caring about what people had to say and the consequences that came from it as well... which probably isn't the healthiest way to combat that. I crave human connection as well, some might call me popular (maybe?), because I simply talk to everyone on campus and try to have a relationship with everybody. I feel like those connections don't last long though and people get tired of me quickly. When I feel that way, I work out, run, or play video games. Anything to get my mind off of my anger or my depression despite that.

[LovelySnow]

Oh my - I relate to so much of what you wrote. We're here with you, Caleb.

[matt17]

I experience contradictory thoughts too, man. It’s like you’re at war with yourself all the time and your brain is a wasteland because of it. Thanks for sharing Caleb

[Ripley7]

Totally relate. The worst times when my indecisiveness hits me is at work when I have to be able to think on my feet. I really struggle with that. It’s like I don’t trust myself to make the right decisions. I panic and my mind goes blank.

[Hidden in reply to Ripley7]

Yes! It is the absolute worst when it happens at work. I end up having to sit back in my chair and just stare out the window. Or watch youtube videos.

[Celtic27]

Hi caleb the human interaction you want is possible but you need to prepare your self for it you shouldn't prejudge what a person might do or say as you are putting up barriers stopping any interaction u

You need! Please look within yourself and see what you can do to help the situation and I wish you the best of luck david