Rabbit hole

[Posey3550]

My daughter has run from home. Shes 18 and at a friends house. As far as i know, safe. There was nothing brewing to lead to this, that i know of. Im slipping down into a very dark place that ive tried very hard to stay away from. I hurt so bad.

[b1b1b1]

Has she given a reason? You might wait a day or two and then call her to find out what is going on.

[viiexplorer]

Maybe continue to keep the lines of communication open; keep texts positive, saying you love her. Do an honest appraisal too if you MAY have accidentally contributed in one form or fashion.

[AZ1970]

How hard. I am glad to hear she is safe. Developmentally kids separate from their parents at this stage in her life. Perhaps she is just trying out her wings. I hope you and she can talk things through soon.

[rach1402]

I'm sorry to hear you've had a nasty shock but at least you know where she is and with whom. Do you know the parents of her friend? If so, maybe just a quick text to them, just to confirm she is where she says she is would be a good idea. If that were my daughter, I would send a text occasionally, maybe twice a day, with a caring sentiment like good morning, hope you have a good day. I'm here if you need anything. Or in the evening, something like how was your day? I miss you and I can't wait to see you when you're ready to come homexx I would try to avoid putting pressure on her, since she's probably exerting her independence at that age. Let her be in control, but at the same time let her know you'll be ready to welcome her back home with open arms when she's ready. This is the point at which she is ready to start taking care of herself more, not completely, she'll always need you, but the relationship does evolve naturally. I hope you can get some confirmation that she's ok soon x

[Hidden]

You know she is safe and where she is, give her a bit of space, maybe she needs to think.

Contact her in a few days, ask his she is then take it from there. She is 18 she might just have decided to move on to see what it's like to live away from the home.

[Posey3550]

So my older daughter picked up my 18 yr old and spent three days with her. They came for thanksgivivg.

Its a disaster. My daughters reason for leaving was, "i wanted to". I have been crying for five days hoping to talk it out with her today. I got eye rolls and shoulder shrugs. She cried a little after mostly letting me do the talking with lots of silent pauses and now shes spending the night with her aunt. She cant even stand to be home one night. Im inconsolable. I just want to disappear. The pain is so bad.

[newbie1956]

Dear Posey, I truly feel your pain.

As a great-grandmother of a 17 yr old who I raised and love as my own, I relate to everything you've written. After years of begging and bribing, I'm learning the hard way, we have to "let them go" if they want to go. My heart aches too but, when I email her or phone her, I pretend I'm fine. I do tell her I love her but have learned she's doing what most teens do. Crying only drives them away. It makes them feel guilty , i'm sure.

Please continue to pray for her. Be determined to hope and wait and one day she may surprise you. I pray for patience and it has helped me. Let us know how things progress, ok !

Warm hugs

[Posey3550]

I just can not get out of this slump. My daughter is home, but things are different. I just feel weird around her. I miss my mom terribly. Shes only been gone a year. My state assistance has been denied because I "didnt follow up" with my case worker. I tried. I called several times and left my name and number every time. I never got a return call.

Sometimes, i just want to disappear.