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Alcohol

The toughest battle you'll ever fight in your life is the battle within yourself. ... win is the battle within, that place where we realize that we deserve to have and ... “The battles that count aren't the ones for gold ...

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Thank You. I went thru a tremendous struggle with myself, thank goodness for therapy, I climbed out of my sh-t hole, it took a painful year, and the work continued on after that, still does to this day, but I am a happy and content person, as I learnt to give up worry, judgments, expectations and guilt, learnt to live in the moment, my life is for the most part full of peace, which I wish upon everyone. My world is wonderful, so I wish the whole world could be in the place I am in. I send you love and hugs........Sprinkle 1.......xxx ooo

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Am happy for u

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Very rarely does anyone on this site candidly talk about addiction or alcohol, in part because so many self medicate, one in three people that are alcoholics are also suffering from depression called: dual diagnosis...and it seems to be a taboo subject to talk about even here on a site for mental illness. Thank you for bringing this subject with so much social stigma attached to light, as it's rare to never I have ever gotten much response from anyone here about this subject. I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I also suffer from depression, etc. And the more people who come to terms with self medicating depression with alcohol which is a depressant, the more clear your thinking is going to be when not fogged from drugs and alcohol, the better your chances are of getting the help you need with depression.

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I was a very depressed kid and had my first panic attack in my teen I started self medicating in my teens of alcohol and I was finally able to say am a alcoholic this year and been sober 1 month 13 days sober I been having the hardest time with depression and anxiety and PTSD wish I could had got the help I needed years ago because this time I feel like the worse I ever felt and praying this zoloft work

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Congratulations on your sobriety, I do know how hard it is and it's always going to be one day at a time....that saying keeps us in the moment, and out of worrying about regrets, guilt, or remorse. We are in the 'Here and the Now'.... hang in there you can always talk to me, I'll be honest with you, no BS.

I went to a support group for the first 90 days of my sobriety, every single day....and it's what kept me sober enough to get a clear head for my therapy to be able to really help me. I would strongly suggest that you check out some kind of support either on line or in a group situation that is dealing with recovery, as this group here is more depression and anxiety oriented, and great support for that, but sobriety is an on going daily routine you get into. It's all good.

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I have sober Grid app and InTheRooms app but besides not doing am more depressed and anxious and I thought once I stop drinking everything would go back to normal

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yeah me too....till I found out that it was the drinking and drugs drowning out my memories, and ghosts, and demons that haunted me from my past child abuse, and emotional abandonment, etc. and when I was drunk I didn't care about anything...and couldn't feel anything....until the next morning, hungover, broker, and sober....and sick. Then all the same things I was trying to get away from were all right there.....only now I was sick and hungover with them.

So I had the choice of comiting slow suicide destroying my liver, and my heart or getting sober and having to get therapy help and sobriety help...so I went to AA, and ACOA and from dysfuncional familys. And One on one therapy.

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Yeah I definitely tried to drown everything too and I was slowing killing myself and right now am isolating myself because am afraid to leave my house and my depression and anxiety is getting worse and worser and now i feel like giving up because is so hard right now I know I probably was destroying my liver and heart too am just trying to get out this deep drake hole am in and am getting tired of feeling like this daily

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please consider some of the online recovery support groups, they even have online meetings.....you need support to stay sober my friend.

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Congrats on getting sober too!! I was a very violent alcoholic and drug addict for 25 years!! Iv e got 7 1/2 years sober now tho. A lot of pain and misery over those 25 years wasted and now finding life harder most days sober. How long have you been sober? I've noticed since quitting the alcohol my anxiety is a million times worse!!! Doung this new job caring for alzheimers residents is so terrifying unlike when I was drinking heavy day and night smoking crack and meth I wasn't scared last time. That's the biggest problem I'm facing. Did you ever notice anxiety getting more intense? Not sure how to handle it. Works an overwhelming challenge and very scary. Congrats on your sobriety😄😄💗 It definitely is a daily struggle. CBD oil has worked wonders tho for depression and some of the anxiety. Oh geez I'm rambling again. Sorry😬 Hugs fauxartist!! ✌ Enjoy your night😊

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yes...all my ghosts and demons haunted me sober. And it's why I drank, smoked pot, and if I got ahold of any sleeping pills I took them to sleep. Life with mental illness un-medicated was hell.....and I was sick before SSRI's came along, and they are no 'magic pill', they only tame the sadness and despair most of the time, but I still have anxiety, and the residuals of a horrible childhood, and self medicating for many years. It was the late 60's and 70's that I started drinking and using when it was cool to do so and everyone who was or wanted to be cool did it. I paid the price for it for many years of my life too.

No....it's not easy but it's way better than being sick from drinking and not remembering what I did the night before after a binge. I didn't do black out drunk often....but once is too many. Therapy along with support in sobriety helped me most....and a lot of group stuff too....but I still have all the stuff....and yes....it's still hell some days. This last couple of weeks has been especially hard because once again my boundaries have been crossed by an antagonist in my life, and that's what used to set me off before, because I was abused and had no control over it, when it happens now...it still effects me greatly. So I understand where your coming from. I wish I had answers, but I am still searching myself right now. Hang in there, and I find when I shut off and shut out stuff, I can get through it better. Small help, but it's better than nothing.

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I too have been fighting my addiction to alcohol. Still self medicating... still trying to fight. I love coming here and reading everyone's posts. Very encouraging. Thank you tamka38! It's posts like yours that helps ppl like me to not give up!

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been there too KrazyCAse....and it's a hard hard road .... but you can get through this at your own pace, but like I was saying too...for me...I needed support to stay sober....hang in there.

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Am thinking I need support too but I have my family doctor psychiatrist case Management through mental health on a waiting list for a therapist I have online meetings and 741 741 for help and where I live we have our own crisis line for help 24/7 and I have sober Grid app and that alone is very supportive because everyone is going through different addictions and very helpful that’s the best app for addiction right now I met some wonderful people and heard some wonderful stories of how alcohol have ruined they life and almost took they life because am 1 month 14 days sober and am still having the worst anxiety and depression and PTSD is a everyday battle it just don’t go away because u stop one thing and that’s what I thought oh I stop drinking so am heal from all my mental illness now I can go on and live life to the fullest boy was I wrong

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no unfortunately.... we self medicated to Not have to feel things.... so I will tell you if you can do some kind of support for alcohol only, which was your drug of choice so to speak..it's great to be able to relate to others stories, but you need 'tools' to stay sober..it will help you learn how to directly deal with the cravings, and the emotional roller coaster till you get some other help. But you need daily real support to stay sober...it's hell right now....and your vulnerable without support for it.....on line AA..... no they are not a cult or religious group....they are only there to help you stay sober.....it's free..... I am not only advocating AA, as there are also other recovery groups.....but it's what kept me sober in the beginning because it's free and they have a system in place that works if you work it.

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I haven’t been craving at all but my emotional are a roller coaster ride and am on new antidepressant and sleep pills iron pills vitamins and been isolating myself at home for a month or more now all I want to do is lay down on my couch and don’t do anything but the online meetings or am on the different app getting support or helping other people out I will just be happy to get stable on my medication

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Thank you fauxyartist😉... I too am glad u r still here! Your words really do help us ♥️ it gives me alot to think about...my body tells me (via a physical message-my stomach growls at me, or it suddenly hurts before I take that 1st drink...) that I don't need alcohol, but my mind tells me otherwise... my husband still drinks and that's where my mind says it's ok... like you said, your genetics plays a role as well, for my mom was that way along with bipolar, schizophrenia, manic depression (not sure if I'm saying it right?) and on and on and on... I also take SSRI'S (previously for pmdd), now it's for peri-menopause as far as I'm concerned, but I've been without it for approx. 3 weeks now. I hope to start on it again soon, so I can deal with life again... it's hard for me to follow along with many ppl because I'm still somewhat new here, and I'm using a cell phone rather than a computer...ergh😑 my previous phone was a flip kind. As I go on and on and on, I see that I'm getting carried away....

Your words do really make a difference fauxyartist 🦊 I hope you know that...♥️♥️♥️

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I wrote u back don’t know if u got it or not am going to get checked soon because I think am premenopausal and is driving me crazy 😜 if u ever want to talk am here and my boyfriend is an alcoholic too and he don’t believe he has a problem and just started back drinking I don’t want no parts of the poison ☠️ anymore did you get the other other app I use for help because I can’t find the texts I sent u this morning please let me know

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your very kind to say that, and I mean that....sometimes I wonder if I am wasting my breath trying to talk to newcomers, and if they really just need to vent and don't really care what anyone says to them....and then they leave as quickly as they came. I rarely ever get responses when I do post to them, so this is very much appreciated what you said....thank you

My partner is a 'normie'....they don't drink or have ever done drugs, so it's fortunate for me....if my partner drank...I don't think I could live with them honestly, because of my depression.....one really really bad day and it would just be too easy to slip.... even though it's been a decade from my last slip, and that was after 23 years of sobriety...it's still only one day at a time for me.

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Congrats to u am so happy for u

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I'm glad to see and read your posts. I mostly do the reading of other ppls posts. I believe that I'm mostly a good listener, I truly do care about how a person is feeling, I like to make ppl laugh and like to make them feel good in any way possible through good comments. I'm the glass is half full kinda person. My husband says I'm too trusting, that I need to keep my gaurd up and be aware. I am the who I am that's just the way I am... plain and simple...

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I am the kind of person who trust's someone until they show me I cannot. But I have pretty good people filters...but everyone can get caught out, it's just life. Mostly now though instead of burning bridges at the first slight....I will just have my boundaries out a bit farther with some people I am not sure of.

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Hi KrazyCase!!! I talked to you previously it was while you were packing up your old house moving to a new one! How's the house? Hope its working out good!! I'm also a 25 year hard core violent alcoholic. 7 1/2 years clean now. I never believed in God or went to church but I got so desperate to quit that I started going to chutch, crying and praying for God to take that disease away from me. It was about 5 years later I woke up ready to go get liquor and I sat there on my bed saying I don't drink! It was beyond bizarre!!! Cause I had to have beer constantly. That was my addiction was mainly beer. Can't stand the smell of it now! Like I said I was crying to God to take my life if I can't stop drinking. Desperate!!! Iv e got 3 duis so I'm a danger to society if I was to ever drink again. Soon as I'm drunk I get in the car. I could never understand why cause I had nowhere to go. I will be sorry for ever driving drunk till the day I die. I sure hope you can quit. I'm here for you if you need to chat. Friends get us thru tough times when trying to quit. I did AA for 15 years but never worked. Don't think about drinking at all now. I truly understand your mind constantly yelling at you to go get liquor and you have to drink. Horrible nagging thoughts that just won't go away. I also tried Anabuse to quit years ago. Supposed to make ya sick if you drink but I drank a case of beer after taking it. I will be praying every night you can quit. Life is much much easier to deal with without a drink!! Hard to believe some days but sober is better. Have a great night. My name is Kacey not sure you remember me or not!!!😄😄😊😊😎😎✌🌸🍁

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Hi sorry it took forever to write back, I really do apologize to u. Do u take any medication? Or see a therapist ? U can do online meetings InTheRooms app and I love sober Grid app u should download it today u will get some much support from everyone they’re very supportive and loving people ready to help u and any way they can addiction is hard trying to fight it alone we all need that extra support am here for u anytime u need me please reach out or DM we can help each other by just letting it out and feel bad for being addictive we all struggling in somewhere in our lives and Is not your fault so please be kind to yourself

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I am really glad your getting all different kinds of support.....but hey....I just read your recent post about wanting to leave here...who was not kind to you....that's not right....

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Am not going to say names

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no ...don't get into that BS....just report them to HU. Stay out of any drama and aways from the nay sayers.... that crap will drag you down faster than anything. So take the high road and hold on to all this wonderful and positive support your getting from so many good people here. And remember....your going through emotional hell and we are like raw nerve endings, so mind yourself and remember to not take anything on board...just the good stuff....

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Thank u because am definitely going through emotional hell right now I don’t know if am coming or going

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I fought it when I was younger about 8 - 12 litre a day everyday 7 days a week.

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Do u still drink

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yeah I still do.when I stopped drinking all the time it was a choice I made not just for myself but for my family.my brother is really suffering because of alcohol Im not sure we will ever have him back again.its just a shame and a waste of life.as we say in Scotland its always the swallies fault but we can always be part of or own cure.you will overcome and succeed your troubles with the right support.

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Awww thank u hope your brother get better

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cheers can I please say.my brother is a brainy mother kind of guy just about became a graduate in mathamitics but the drink as destroyed him.

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Sorry to hear that alcohol is the devil

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it's also hard in America to understand that drinking is just part of the culture in some countries.....something that is more accepted as a norm than like it is in America. Ireland, Scotland, England all have the 'Pub' life as a way to socialize and hang out with friends and gossip for the day. It's not looked down upon like it is in the states.

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I believe that

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It is becoming a lot less popular in the UK to go out for a drink. Mainly when people go to a pub it is also a restaurant and the "main event" is to eat the food but they may have an alcoholic drink with the food. Pubs (as they are called in the UK, which are similar to your "bars" (we also call them bars depending on what the decor is like) do not make enough money through selling alchohol any more. It is quite expensive compared with what it used to be and so mainly they rely on your buying food.

There is still a problem with "binge drinking" with some youngsters in the UK. They go out on a Friday or Saturday night and get wasted as we call it but that is only a few people. Also a big thing is for people to buy alchohol at the supermarket. There are many middle class people who have rather more wine than they should.

Overall yes drinking some alchohol is accepted as part of the way of life in the UK but is isn't generally considered acceptable to have more than one or two drinks. The "worst" of it probably goes on at home nowadays as also people no longer flout the drink drive rules like they did in the past as there are harsh penalities; so if they stay at home and drink it is easier all round.

I don't think we drink as much as the French or the Italians but once again when these countries drink it is always with food whereas we do tend to have more of a "binge drinking" issue here in some quarters of society. It is mainly very young people though. Only one of my friends drinks alchohol and they don't have more than a couple of pint a week. xx

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I know that it's acceptable to have a glass of wine at dinner as the water was often bad in France or Italy, but in some Slavic country's vodka is in a water glass, and there seems to be a much higher constitution when it comes to drinking. I don't judge anyone, I don't care what anyone chooses to do, it's none of my business, but some of us just can't drink, and it's a personal choice whether we do or don't. When and if someone decides their life has become un-manageable from drinking or drugging...then it's also their choice what to do about it. I'm very aware of Pub life in a country such as Ireland, where it is an acceptable way of life, not an issue. And no, not everyone is an alcoholic either. But to see kids walking around with a bottle of vodka or Morgan's spiced rum and a kids flexie straw in the bottle at parties is a bit disturbing to me, but that's their parents job to deal with it.

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Good morning I didn’t get sleep worry about my mom

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I can imagine that would keep you up and sorry to hear about your mom.

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Thank you I appreciate it

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The BEST thing I ever did for my mental health was to stop drinking. I didn’t do AA or anything, but I firmly believe that alcohol only causes problems for me.

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U right alcohol cause a lot of problems for me in the long run it help while I was numbing myself but once that feeling is gone I was back to feeling the same problems I was trying to get Rid of

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the first two drinks induce a state of Euphoria, so we want more of that feeling and keep drinking, but then alcohol acts as a depressant....

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U right once I have my first drink I can’t stop drinking and drink until I pass out and I always have to drink more and more just to get affect or buzz because sometimes am just drinking for nothing is a bad disease it takes away my problems just for that day and the next day am right back where I started and be struck

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for us....alcohol is an addiction.... it does not make us weak or bad people....we were born this way, just like with depression....it's a disease, it's not our fault, and there is no cure....only therapy and abstinence.

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We was born this way?

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yes.... genetics..... one of those lovely things that gets handed down in some family's. And if you look back in your family tree, you may find your not the only one battling this disease. My grandfather was a hard core alcoholic, never met him or knew him. Also have addictive genes on my mothers side. So I was screwed right out of the shoot.....but that's life and we just have to learn to work it out. It takes a lot of work and nothing's easy, but we can be warriors and fight the good fight..

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My grandfather was a hard core alcoholic too my mom share his stories of all the drinking he did and and my dad was a heroin user never really remember him because he went to prison when I was 2 years old and died in prison when I turned 8 years old but now since am thinking is a lot of alcoholic on my daddy side more than my mom said or it might be equal the same but I know they drinkers and some do some hard drinks and pills never thought about looking at the family tree I was just thinking about myself getting help and trying to bet this battle it just feel like my body is still going through something because am not giving it alcohol no more so going going through the emotional roller coaster ride

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no question that it completely screwed up my life when I was drinking.

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I screwed my life up too

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a lot of us did but we now can only go forward and upwards....it's a bumpy ride but worth it..... finally I have sobriety, the love of my life, and am living where I have always wanted to....so.... miracles happen, and they happen to everyone when you least expect it. So never give up, and never give in....just keep trying...there are no mistakes....just opportunity's

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Alcohol abuse has caused me problems. I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic but I shouldn't ever drink again. My last drink was 10/4/17 when I got arrested for a DUI. My BAC was .06. Not illegal but I don't need alcohol so I said why drink it.

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I self medicate for so many years and am I month 13 days sober and my depression anxiety is through the roof And my praying my medication kicks in soon

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Congrats on the sober part. You can do it. Keep fighting one day at a time.

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Am just very depressed and anxious

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I know. Have faith and believe.

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did you say you were going to therapy....because when all our feelings we self medicated to not feel are all exposed when we are sober.....we also need help with that. SSRI's are a necessary medication, and not like some anxiety drugs which are and can be abused...they work on your depression. They may help you, but they take a couple of weeks to kick in, and then you have to go through all the dosage adjustment, and sometimes change to another med that may work better.

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Am on the waiting list for a therapist I haven’t been to one yet. Really not really to open up old wounds again but I know it have to be done am just not really and am on a SSRI’s the first one didn’t work and I didn’t tell my psychiatrist I had just stop drinking 2 days ago before he started me on antidepressant and I started experiencing side effects after 2 weeks so now am on a different SSRI’s keeping my fingers crossed that this antidepressant will help me this time I want to be stable so I can start living my life again because right now I feel struck

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yeah.... I know everything is a mess right now....and when we do start talking about our stuff....doing it little bits at a time and giving ourselves positive re-enforcement and getting comfort from support groups is really really important.

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Am just praying everything will fall in place

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always have a back up plan and a plan b and c.... that way you always have options when one thing doesn't work out, you can try the next thing.

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Have a back up plan for not drinking alcohol

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yes..... meaning you have other support options lined up.... meetings, other therapy options such as some centers offer pay as you can afford programs. Do your homework on line and find everything you can. What's the alternative, just more misery.

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I have meetings and therapy and I can’t think of nothing more

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just rigorous honesty, and getting through one day at a time, one hour at a time. There are no easy answers, everyone has to find out what works best for them, and only you will know what that is.

For me right now, I'm gonna sign off and do some painting, it keeps my hamster wheel in my head busy. Best wishes to you tamka....hang in there

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Thank you

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I am so glad to see that you are still here this morning.

You are the reason this discussion is happening.

My self-medication drug of choice was weed. I started at 14 and quit 2 months ago. I am 48. I was watching good ol' Dr Phil and he stated that when you use drugs/alcohol starting at an early age it becomes your coping mechanism and you fail to develop other healthy ways of coping. And it is not actually coping...it is avoiding.

It really hit home for me. I start therapy Tuesday, anxiety/depression group meetings on Thursday.

And I came here.

Every voice matters.

You matter Tamka38.

Thank you for staying.

You are not alone.

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I can only thank the 12 steps AA for my sobriety. A daily drunk with lot of character defects when I came into the rooms of AA in september 2006.

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