A Friend Doesn't Talk To Me Anymore

[LibraryLove]

So I'm looking for a bit of advice. I had this friend from a couple of years ago that I worked with, and he was awesome. We got close and he was like a big brother to me. Then I moved away and he I guess fell off the wagon. He divorced from his wife and over this past year moved in and out of sober homes and halfway houses. The thing is I heard this all from another friend of ours. I last heard directly from him when he messaged me back in February saying he was getting a divorce and moving into a sober house. He deleted his Facebook and now he has a new account and he didn't friend me. I want to be angry with him, but I'm not. I'm not disappointed that he was struggling to stay sober. I'm just more upset with the fact that he hasn't reached out to me. I heard he was reaching out to other people, but he hasn't contacted me. I figured when he was ready he'd reach out to me. Should I reach out to him and let him know I still care? Should I continue to wait for him to reach out to me?

[kenster1]

hi maybe just get a message to him that your thinking of him and wishing him well in his recovery even leave a number or email.me and a few friends liked a few beers almost 7 days a week some of us grew up and moved on some of us found it harder than others.my friend had a bad spell in life and joined the AA its great hes doing well and changed his life around but I feel like we are not his friends anymore incase we try influence him in any way but that's not the case.ive changed and moved on from that period but I still look at most guys I grew up as friends.the recovery can really change people most of the time for the better.let him know you care I think.

[LibraryLove in reply to kenster1]

Maybe. He didn't friend me on Facebook when he reopened his account. Which I know sounds silly but he friended our other friend but not me so I'm kinda wondering maybe he doesn't want to talk to me.

[kenster1 in reply to LibraryLove]

if its a new account maybe hes just not got round to it.in recovery old haunting grounds and friends are seen as no no incase it makes them fall off the waggon.if its been a few weeks send that message you never know.

[LibraryLove in reply to kenster1]

It's definitely been more than a few weeks lol. But I'll give it a shot. Thanks for your advice.

[kenster1 in reply to LibraryLove]

cool I hope you get a positive response.

[LibraryLove in reply to kenster1]

Hey I just wanted to say thanks again for your advice. I wrote to him the other night and I was so scared that he wasn't going to respond. He did respond and we're going to try to plan to meet up. Thanks again.

[Annst]

He may have some reason for not contacting you, but he owes it to you to tell you *at least* that there's a reason. I think you should contact him, tell him you valued your friendship and miss him and would like to hear from him. If he doesn't answer, you'll know that whatever it is, he can't deal with it right now.

[Annst in reply to Annst]

Oops! You've re-contacted each other. So much for my advice. I'm glad you're communicating again. 💞

[LibraryLove in reply to Annst]

Yes we did reconnect. thank you for your sweet words. He has been going through a rough year for him - I think he’s gone through a bout of addiction. I’ve researched it and understand that’s not something you deal with alone. And I understand if he needed time away to get better. He says he has and that he’s moving back home soon ❤️

[SuZQ154]

So glad you are posting! You sound like you care about people and would like to connect with someone. Reaching out to people in my past, who are healthy, has been helpful...reaching out to others, which are dealing with their own problems, has not always been wise for me. I am not saying this is your case. Have you to consider why you would like to reconnect?

Reconnecting with old friends, at times, has taken me back to old patterns of behaviors which I worked so hard to eliminate from my life. What would you like to have your life look like in a week? A month? A year? And then, would your friend be a good support for YOU? Praying you will find the right answer for YOU!

[LibraryLove in reply to SuZQ154]

Thank you for your sweet advice. Nothing bad happened when we were friends. He was more of my protective older brother. He had a really hard year battling addiction and I had been waiting to see if he would reach out to me when he felt ready.

[Wild_N]

Hey

Sometimes reaching out can be a bit destructive to you n your progress in life. So rather wait for him to reach out to you... 'that's what I'd do'