dying inside

[exchange]

hello everyone. I hate my life and my family , they just make me want to commit suicide. all this is affecting my grades at school. they don't care about anyone except my siblings. there is no day I don't cry and ask God for help. I always ask myself what is my use on this earth. all this is to much for me. I don't feel loved by anyone at all. I try and listen to music on my phone because that's the only thing that keeps me insane but they took it away. I don't do anything at at all I try to read but I cant. on my birthday I didn't receive anything from anyone.i don't know anymore. I don't know if anyone even cares about me

[Iloveart7]

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. You will find care and support here. Many of us have suffered in the same way. Plus you can always text home to 741741 if are are feeling suicidal (in the us)

[SoberDrunk1]

grab the audio book power of now. The introduction talks about how Eckhart Tolle was suicidal and his experience. It may not be instantaneous for us but atleast help us overcome the torture the mind creates. I learnt a lot about how to overcome the incessant thinking and have some quietude. Some of the stuff he talks about: Accept and then act. Great advice. That puts us in action. Seek counseling at school that will help too.

[RaeLea]

I care. Almost in same boat as you but I’m much older. I always try to find something to look forward to each day. Don’t rely on other people for your happiness; that’s what I’ve learned.

[Calm_mama]

I'm glad you are talking to your Higher Power. So much comfort there. I think you are going to need more - Guidance Counselor, school social worker, entrusted teacher, someone at Church- talk to someone you can trust. Call the county health department and find out what services they offer for teens for mental health support (This assumes you are in the US, and I'm assuming you are a teen). You can feel so much better if you start getting some regular support and help from people who are trained to help.

[trapis2]

If only I could give you an in person hug !! Your post broke my heart, I'm so sorry you feel so unloved and worthless. Don't really know your family situation so can't give and advice. Just remenber you are a loveable person and you deserve to be happy. Do not leave this world by your own hand, that is a perment solution to a temporey problem. Hang in there and if you can have a good talk with your parents and tell them how you are feeling. They may surprise you!!! Sending you love

[No1wthayla]

If your parents don't know about your depression, talk to them or a school counselor. My daughter recently admitted she had thought about suicide. I had no idea that she was that depressed. I have been most of my life but I didn't know she felt that bad. Your parents might surprise you. Or tell a friend's mom or dad who might be able to help you talk through things. I do that for my daughter's friends. A no-judgment listener willing to help if possible.

[Rachel2535]

You Matter!!! You are a unique, beauitful human being and God sees your sorrow and your pain. Have you tried getting involved in a church? In a local youth group? I commend you for getting on here and reaching out. I have often felt the same way. Feeling so lost and hopeless to where I wanted to end things as well. But please know this there is so much to look forward to. Working to get out of your home and becoming who you desire to be and who God desires you to be can be the hope you look towards. Find someone to talk to face to face.....at school, at church, at a local youth program. You matter and are loved!! I am praying for you- Rachel

[Arwen22]

How are you feeling? I hope better. I would suggest to try your best not to instigate them to the point of them taking your music away. I’m sure it wasn’t your fault, but take a step back if you think they will become upset and punish you by confiscating your source of music. Or get a clock radio to listen to something in the meantime.

I don’t feel so loved by my fam either. I have met people that I feel do love me, so try your best to be approachable so you can make some good friendships. Your family doesn’t have to be the only source of love.

Live for the beautiful moments, even in rare, but they make life worth it. Or live for the prospect of good moments, because you will have them in life and you will look back and be glad you pushed through.