Remembrance: Four years ago today I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Remembrance

Looking_for_Hope
Looking_for_Hope

Four years ago today I lost my grandfather. We were very close, and although his death was sudden, I'm told it was peaceful. He went to bed and decided not to get up anymore. I think what hurts the most about it all is the fact that my parents got to say goodbye, and I didn't. Now his house right across the street is a stranger's, and I'm waiting for the day when I look over there, and it's gone, or different from what it has been my whole life. It hurts to remember that I'll never be able to pick the plums from his tree, or the crab apples that we're almost always too sour for me to eat. I'll never hear him gripe about how the birds kept getting his cherry tree. People always say it gets easier, but for me it's getting harder.

9 Replies
Hidden
Hidden

Can you transfer the trees to your yard?

Looking_for_Hope
Looking_for_Hope in reply to Hidden

Maybe if we asked, but they've been there for over 50 years. Transplanting them might not be healthy for them. Thanks for the suggestion.

hi im sorry to hear that.our family are in the same situation as you regarding our parents house of 50 years.our aunt currently lives in the house but she has dementia and the social work are trying to rob her of her home even although she has family supporting her 24/7.we have apple trees rhubarb patches in the garden and every time I pick them im thinking it could be for the last time.even feeding the birds and squirrels was enjoyed by me and my mum I still do do it and sit and watch them thinking of my mum.im on another page called bereavement care and share and we all have experienced loss and its very supportive it may well help you as well.are the crab apples and plumbs still growing im sure the new tenants wouldn't mind you picking some if you spoke to them.

The tree could be infested with caterpillars (like what has happened a few times) and it would all still grow. I'm sure I could, it just takes courage to go over there and ask.

im sure they wouldn't mind if you told them about what it meant to you.people with decent hearts would gladly let you do it.

Thank you

Hi, as I read your post remembering your grandfather I could not help but to think of my own whom I loved very very much. It has been 18 years since he left us, but I remember him almost on the daily because he was such a jokster and always answered our questions with a riddle. I hope you have some great memories that you can hold on to, when you are missing him so much that it feels unbearable, try to think of a moment you shared with him that can help you re-live that joy and connection you had.

XOXO

So sorry for your loss. I lost my father 8 years ago and didn’t get to say goodbye either. It was also an unexpected passing. I totally get your pain. I can honestly say for a very long time I had good days and bad days. Some days just trigger that pain. Something will be on TV or something will come on the radio and you’ll just remember. That’s ok. Believe it or not, I didn’t think the pain would get better either 4 years ago, but it does. It’s still painful to think about (and probably always will be) but in the years that pass, you’ll build a life for yourself. A life with a lot of happiness if your’e lucky. People that will listen and help you through it all. And hopefully with all that love and understanding the pain will just start turning into happiness for what you had instead of sadness for what you lost. It will take time but it will happen. You have my support.

Thank you

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