Another person with the same struggles.

[leeleemarie]

Hi my name is Lee Lee. I'm new to this..I've been struggling my whole life with anxiety and depression. I'm 27 years old and just want to feel normal. It feels like every day I put on an act for myself and have to push through the day. The feeling starts first thing in the morning before getting out of bed, until the time I lay back down. I've felt a lot of pain during my life and I struggle with letting it go. My life is great at the moment, but I can't see past my thoughts and it changes the way I look at things.. I haven't ever reached out about it before like this. I'm in hopes that sharing my thoughts with others will help. My boyfriend made this account for me to ease my mind with feeling like I have people to talk to that understand. He has depression also, just seems to be able to cope better. I'm hoping to help others with their battles as well. My true gift is compassion and empathy for others, although I struggle to have it for myself. I've dealt with many situations of tough times. My story consists of a dysfunctional alcoholic family, living with abuse almost my whole life, and broken down to little slivers of hurt and hate in between that has stuck in my soul. All of this is in the past now and my main problem is accepting love and believing in myself. I seem to just fall back into the pit of anxiety and depression every day. I'm looking forward to reading everyone's story and if you want to talk about anything, please reach out.

[fauxartist]

welcome lee lee... and I'm very glad you have someone close in your life that actually does understand depression... many here don't, and your compassion will be well appreciated.

I wanted to talk to you about your having to deal with a dysfunctional family... and even though depression is a disease and not our fault. other stuff can make us feel so much worse combined with it. This kind of childhood does not go away. Even with decades of therapy, meds and group.... I will always be scared, I have and still am, learning how to not let it define me... but how to cope with the bad days a bit better.

When I first got serious about getting help...

I joined a group called ACOA... it's adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional family's.I am not promoting any group or organization, but It helped me to understand all my feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, abandonment, and self worth, and how none of that was my fault. We were kids who should have had parents as caregivers who were there to nurture us, and make us feel safe and be there for us. Parents from dysfunctional family's are often 'Emotionally unavailable' to their kids because they are too caught up in their disease. And as kids we take this on-board to mean we must not be lovable enough, or that there was something wrong with us for them to not love us, .... but that's all not true. We did not deserve this... we deserved to be loved, and loved for who we are.

We deserve to be happy.

There are sadly many of us here who have had similar childhoods, and suffer from depression, anxiety, abandonment, and lots of other issues.....

you are never alone here...sharing helps healing...

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Once again there you again faux & nail it! Please listen to faux, they are always spot on & so kind & caring! I agree with them 100% & sure could not of said this any better! Thank you faux! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

and you are love and kindness and are the heart strings of this place... luvs ya pal

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

I find that hard to believe. XXX

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

Oh you know you are women.... you are well loved.... I luvs ya... and you know Alan luvs ya... and a whole bunch luvs ya... your always supportive and uplifting in a place that sometimes gets very dark and sad....that's a gift we all appreciate.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you very much, I try. Love, peace, joy, light & hugs pal!!!

[Hidden]

Welcome to the site, you've come to the right place! Oh this nasty, ugly disease & the things we went through..the struggle is real, I hear you! I'm here for you & am so sorry that you are struggling right now. I will help you in any way I can. Love, peace, joy, light & hugs!!!

[Hidden]

I just wanted to check in with you. I'm so glad you found a place to find people who are going through the same things as you are. I think depression, especially, makes us feel very alone as we ruminate in our thoughts. It is encouraging to know you aren't alone. We are out here, ready to listen, ready to share what has helped us.