This doesn’t deserve a title

[Spirit19]

I’m so tired of feeling the way I do it’s makes me so angry I hate myself I don’t deserve anything why am I here ? I can’t stand the constant mood changes I’m happy then mad or sad for no reason . I hate it ... my anxiety keeps me from driving , I can’t be around my family because I’m always laying in bed . When does it end? Will it ever .... sigh ;(

[Hidden]

It isn't going to change unless you do something to make it change....I'm sure you know the options.

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

I’ve been depressed for so long I don’t know anything else ...

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

Look for something else... anything..

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

Being depressed is comforting to me i always have my guard up.

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

Me too...maybe we have our guards up too high...

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

I just don’t know what to do I feel like my brain is broken

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

Cause your going round and round..step out and you'll see..let's let our guards down abit yeah?

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

If I do something will happen

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

Like what

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

I don’t know I’m just paranoid something will happen ...;( I hate myself

[fauxartist in reply to Spirit19]

sometimes our pain is all we know... so we are afraid of change because in our past .... we never had any control over what had happened to us as kids... and we fear change... so we are willing to stay stuck and in a bad situation because at least we know what we are dealing with... but trusting in ourself that we will only do what we are comfortable with. small steps... knowing we are going to have to take that risk if we want to get better...we can plan for it..... if we want this pain to stop .... then we have to change what we are doing....

[Spirit19 in reply to fauxartist]

I don’t know what I’m doing ...

[fauxartist]

I'm there for ya anytime you want to talk brotha.....I'm sorry your going through the pain.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I know exactly how you feel. You’re here for a reason. Even if you don’t know what that reason is yet. You are a human being with a beating heart on this planet. Do you feel your heart beating? That’s purpose. Take it one minute at a time. Do things that bring you some sort of comfort or joy, even if it’s fleeting. Please don’t ever give up. I am always here for you if you need to talk. Stay strong xo.

[hypercat54]

Why do you hate yourself? Is it your fault? Is it a character defect or a weakness in you? Or is it a random illness which can often strike out of the blue? I think it would definitely help you to stop using such destructive emotive language about yourself. If this was happening to your best friend or partner would you hate them? No you wouldn't.

Are you having counselling etc? x

[Hidden]

Do you have someone you can talk to in person? I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know what you're feeling. I think it's good to take some baby steps like go for a walk for 10 minutes. Get some fresh air if you don't feel like taking a walk. Every little bit helps. <3

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

I’m in therapy I talk to my psychiatrist more than my therapist ... I shut down when I talk to my therapist .

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

Why do you think that happens? Do you think you need a new therapist?

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

Because I hate therapy and I’m to dependent on medication ...

makes me hate myself

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

I'm sorry to hear that. Is the medication not helping?

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

The only medication that helps is the klonopin ... I just want to give up I’m tired of being emotionally numb ...

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

Oh, I get that feeling. I'm still living with it! Maybe do something you enjoy in the comfort of your room? Or working out. That always makes me feel good.

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

I feel so helpless ...

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

I'm so sorry. Take it one day at a time. Baby steps. If you need someone to talk to, you can always send me a message. I hope and pray you get out of this.

[Spirit19 in reply to Hidden]

My mind is stable and I feel like I deserve to be in a psych hospital again

[Spirit19 in reply to Spirit19]

Isn’t

[Hidden in reply to Spirit19]

Take some deep calming breaths. Hopefully that will help your mind slow down.

[Lilly5]

Hi Spirit 19. Yes, things can change. Do a little bit every day, like I've told you before. Walk for 5 minutes. Get a little sun for 10 minutes, then get in the shade. Nature helps. There are many other things you can do. Even if you can't do 5 minutes of something, you can start with one minute. The thing is, you have to start.

[pink318]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Please know that we are here and we care for you. You are not alone. I pray that you will not lose hope. Whenever you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to post. I hope you will find the support you need through this forum.

Try to do things that you will enjoy and I hope you will feel better soon. I will be praying for you. Take care and I hope you will remain hopeful.