change in time

[kimmy30]

I hate when people say "pray about it," I believe in God BUT just sitting on my butt and waiting for things to change will not help.

I realize I have to change the way I think. I also dislike people pushing there advice on me. I have this guy friend who is homeless, have 8 kids, work as a dishwasher; always push his advice on me telling me I have to leave my boyfriend , leave the house, quite my job.

so yes I am not happy with my boyfriend. WE don't have sex he wont touch me or look at me. He like big girls when we meant which was online, I was 300lbs. I Have a svt heart condition, diabetes,and more health issues. so I loosed weight. now im 165 he will not touch me. its not like im skin and bones. we have a house together. He have two bad ass boys. One leave with us and the other part time.

Im a Certified Nurse Assistant. I hate the job. Nurses and patiences treat me like shit. so yes i am not happy in my career. Im in school but could only take one class at a time because im paying out of pocket. i cant get loans because of my credit score.

I feel stuck.

Back to the friend(T). I had to stop talking to him because everyday he would yell at me and say " your dumb clearly he's cheating on you, clearly he dont want you. I'm sick of you complaining about ur job, ur life. you make more then me. You make $15 a hour I make 10 a hr. You should sell the house. Sell ur broke as car." the last time we talked he said "pray about it!!!!!!" and hung up the phone.

if I did all of that whats my next step. I don't have family to fall back on. If I leave him I would have to get an apartment and be alone. I LOVE THIS HOUSE

I have a plan it just a matter of time. so ill finish school in 5 years with bsn and get a better job. work getting my health together. work on my relationship and if hes the same then ill leave.

[jennicole31]

Hello Kimmy,

You seem like a strong and wise woman. You’re smart and have a beautiful soul. God says that the prayers of the righteous avail much. Certainly, prayer works! But, sometimes, we must act on what we believe God for in prayer. You’re no obligated to perform wifely duties to a man that you aren’t married to. You deserve to be treated right. If being alone for a while is what you have to do, then God will be there for you… I think that your plan is wonderful. Follow the desires of your heart and trust God!

[kimmy30 in reply to jennicole31]

thanks

[Imakook]

Kimmy - I'm so glad you wrote this! You have really good insight into your situation. I totally get it. I for one think it's friggin' awesome that you lost half of yourself in weight! Wow!

You are on the right path with the right frame of mind. Your hard work and sights set on the future show how dedicated you are to YOURSELF! I mean people will say "I'm doing it for the kids." "I'm working for a future for me & my boyfriend". However, if you're not your own priority, then you won't have the confidence to finish this thing.

You can grow into an LPN or even an RN by doing this the right way with the right focus. One huge benefit would be to watch that sorry-ass loser walk away. He'll only be a drain on you.

In parting, pamper yourself as much as you can. For instance, a bubble bath & candles, etc. You got this!

Oh, yeah, P.S. : I have been working on changing myself & my habits because I have ADHD so bad that it consumed my whole life. It's going to take lots of hard work & a long time comin'. It's so ingrained in my brain & body that it infuriates me! But it took me a lifetime to get here. I was only diagnosed a couple of years ago when I was 59.

Thanks again for the post & go with your higher power! I don't think mine is the God of organized religion

Colleen

[kimmy30 in reply to Imakook]

THANK YOU FOR UR POST KEEP ME UPDATED.

TODAY IM have a bad day @work. two pts died.