Nightmare

Hello everyone. I hope ur doing well. 🌹

I got up from a nap (I haven't been sleeping well lately). I had a terrible nightmare with my sister in it who abused me. She wanted me to pleasure her and I didn't want to. But I felt that horrible helpless feeling that I wasn't allowed to say no. I have been trying really hard to establish boundaries and that's probably one reason why my unconscious conjured this up. I notice I want to help everyone and I have to hold back which is alien to me. I don't mean that abuse occurs now, no not at all! But I still fight being the giver.

[Hidden]

Nothing wrong with wanting to help folks...unless I misread what you said.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

U didn't misread it. I was trying to say I've always been a door mat.

[Fatima_sh in reply to Hidden]

I was like that too once, people used to take advantage of me at college and being my naive self I used to help them with their projects and so on, but then I learned to say no.

After I started saying no I realized that people won’t hate me if I decided that I don’t want to do a certain thing, after all what’s the worse thing they can do to me ?

They just move on and find someone else to help them out. Now when I decide to say yes and to help people it’s not because I’m scared of their reactions and whatnot, but it’s because I genuinely want to give a helping hand.

Moral of the story, learn to say no, because even if you do people won’t hate you for it.

[Hidden in reply to Fatima_sh]

I totallly agree...well said!

[Hidden in reply to Fatima_sh]

Hope u r having a good day. Your post was one of the first things i read. I agree you said it well and I'm glad you did. I have been working at saying no and getting a little better at it. It still causes me alot of anxiety as I didn't realize all the situations that I was effected by it. The message I wrote was originally going to be about the nightmare but it kind of changed. I'm working alot on boundaries with my therapist as my sister crossed them since I was about 7 (long story-- some is in my other posts) and so I never learned what healthy boundaries were. So I really do appreciate other people describing things for me so I can think about it kind of like a new way, if that makes sense? And I do appreciate the support and your sharing.