Yo there, I'm just tired of feeling anxious all the time. It's like a constant fight, I wake up and I am already anxious about feeling anxious for the day. It's like if I can not be happy because I worry all the time about the worst. I can not enjoy what I used to love because I am in a constant state of fear. I've anxious since January. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and passed away this June. And since then everything started, now if something hurts I think its cancer. It doesn't matter if I have period cramps I still believe I have ovarian cancer. If my stomach is upset i think i have stomach cancer and so on. I went to the ER because my stomach was burning so bad... they said it was pretty much related to stress. Now my lower abdomen is hurting and bloated. And it sucks because I tend to look for sintoms in google and the first thing that appears is cancer, everything has to do with it. This is driving me crazy and I am so scared all the time. My life is not the same. I need to be ok for my 2 kids and husband. I am going to an anxiety specialist to be treated, right now I am not taking any meds because she believes I dont need them, and I also said I didn't want to take anything. Is anybody going through the same? Is your body getting sick because of anxiety? Any advices of how to shut my mind of negative thoughts ?
Anxiety and more: Yo there, I'm just... - Anxiety and Depre...
Anxiety and more
Tjgg.... first off take a huge deep breath. You have been through so much with your Dad and to worry you are next, is understandable. I lost my Dad when I was young to cancer as well and I can tell you it is not hard to fall into that worry. I also had those worries many years later.
For me, I refuse to let myself google about symptoms, because like you, it made the anxiety overwhelming. I read an article that when you google typically only 5 worst case scenarios come up for any given symptoms. They are the same illnesses for almost every symptom.... I know that two on the list are heart attacks and cancer. I don’t remember the other three.
I have a two week hold period for all new body feelings. Like say my stomach hurts. If in two weeks it still hurts, then I would go to the doctor, but so far.... never have had to go. (I actually read that from a cancer doctor talking about women worrying about breast cancer.)
When you think of something negative... tell yourself STOP (loud in your brain like a bad kid) and then think of something positive. Make it the same positive thing each time. Maybe something that makes you giggle inside or just gives you a happy feeling. Each time you do that it will give you a second longer of no worries. Soon, it will become something that helps ground you.
Don’t forget the deep breaths. You are not alone and you can overcome this like I did.
Thank you so much for taking the time to replay. Your words really help. I will do the 2 week mark thing.
I hope the words do help and you that will keep reaching out to me. I know everyone grieves differently, but you are not alone in how you feel. I totally understand!!! I hate the thought that anyone suffers from anxiety because I understand how hard it is to tell yourself it is all in your head. No one wants to be told their thoughts are just mind games. However, you need to tell yourself you are ok, there is nothing wrong and the feeling will pass.
You say in your post that you had things you used to like to do.... what was that? Is there something that you want to do again or try something new? Anything you can do to keep busy also seems to help. I think of my brain as something that likes to be busy. So if I feed it negative scary thoughts, it can make grow those thoughts into huge monsters. If I think of happy thoughts it grows them into pretty flower gardens. So I try really really hard to to keep the monsters out of my garden. It won’t happen overnight.... but try to plant some seeds and see if you start to see some pretty flowers develop. Those things really helped me... plus no medical google! Lol. It’s the worst.
Yeah Google is anxiety Worst enemy ! I dont know sometimes I am with my kids doing fun stuff or out with my husband and then I get sad or fearful thoughts because in my mind I feel I dont have that much time to live because I have a tumor and I am going to die. I know it sounds crazy but it just randomly happens. I try to tell my mind I'm am ok and that I dont want to be the rest of my life thinking I am going to die when I'm not. I just want to enjoy life the way I used to. I know it's a process and things wont happen over night but sometimes I cant controll my feelings, thoughts and fears that's is just crazy
First off you are not crazy! I hope it makes you feel better when I tell you I was doing the same thing. I swear we have very similar thoughts and worries. It is very easy to realize after a trauma like watching a loved on suffer and then die, life is short. When you go through that, you just get used to waiting for the next shoe to drop and that “I got this” attitude, easily fades to “what’s next”.
All you are doing is getting WAY too far ahead of yourself with negative thinking like I did. I don’t have any kids, but I would think to myself how hard it would be if my husband died or if I died. I would make myself so sad, like I was morning a death. I would fill myself with anxiety worrying if I was sick or he was sick. I felt like I was going to explode from anxiety and panic all day. I was sucking the fun right out of life.
All I can tell you is that you have to control those thoughts and feelings when they come. For me, there is no rhyme or reason when they rear their ugly heads. I can be hanging out with friends, talking about what I baked lately and wham.... panic and anxiety slaps me right on my head. When it happens I try to go into super sonic focus mode on what someone else is saying, all the while telling myself I am fine, my husband is fine and thinking of my happy thought I wrote about before. Doing that squishes it quickly and I then can take a deep breath and go back to having fun.
It takes time, but the anxiety you feel every moment you are awake, slowly dissipates into fewer and fewer times. I think of it like a bad storm. At the worst you are in hurricane winds and rains, with all day anxiety but as you learn to control your own thoughts and reactions when it happens, the clouds part and rather than living in hell, the sun shines most of the time with only a quickly passing cloud or shower that you duck away from.
I can’t tell you that it will ever be perfect. I sure hope someday for you it is. I don’t know if we are just wired a little different or are just more sensitive to stimulus around us. However I can tell you, that you can and will replace most of your hell days with heavenly days.
Keep talking, keep focusing on positive thoughts, keep breathing and keep loving yourself. You got this!!!
My severe anxiety started my mom died. It was small at first, but the anxiety got worse when the depression left. I have too woken up with anxiety from dreams or just being up. I suffered from it for years. Told myself I didn't need medication. That I am stronger. Then I fell sick I was diagnosed with a blood disorder that was killing my liver and i was not ok. I slept all the time I just couldn't function. My doctor prescribed a small dose anxiety medication and it has helped a lot. However I've been on the medicine for awhile and the anxiety is back and worse. I'm depressed about my job and the way my life is going. I haven't really been able to eat. I've dropped about 5lbs. I'm going to start taking my pills twice a day like I'm allowed too. To see if it helps. Just know you are not the only one. I feel your pain. My mom died at 35.... I fear I only have 10 years left because I'll pass like her.
I completely understand, losing a parent is not fun, especially if you saw them suffer. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone. Hope you can get better and get to learn how to control anxiety.
Maybe you need to rethink your idea of not needing medication.
This is coming from someone who constantly forgets that she has medication to take...and does her level best to ignore taking any medication, though there are meds that I MUST be on.
Serves me right.
In 1990, in reply to a question, I said:
“If I had to take a pill a day to keep from dying, I’d probably die very quickly.”
Sadly, though circumstances have radically changed, it seems that those thought patterns are exactly as they were in 1990.
I was in your exact same situation except the cancer part I suffered from depression and anxiety and it was so bad at times and all the crazy things that I thought was wrong with me turned out to be strictly the anxiety and depression I took pills but all that did was mask the symptoms then someone told me about acupuncture I thought why do I have to lose I went for five sessions and by the fifth I felt back to my normal self with none of the symptoms of all the other illnesses I thought in my mind
Are you still doing well with anxiety and depression?
Yes it’s been over a month and I feel perfect back to my old self 100% I think that they were channels in my body that were being blocked at least that’s what they tell me and it makes sense if you do end up going for acupuncture let me know if it works for you I would give it at least 5 to 10 sessions before you really see a major difference with me was five
Yes. 100% a ok. Have you checked out acupuncture yet?
Not yet, other than online. Haven’t done it myself yet. I worry it won’t work for me.
You have nothing to lose except a few dollars and maybe not that cause mine was paid by my insurance company. Just do it and give it several sessions. Don’t be impatient it will work
BTW, I’m a medical researcher, and I can tell you that if you don’t list ALL of your symptoms (meaning anything that is present with your problem that wasn’t present before), you cannot get an accurate diagnosis.
If I hadn’t mentioned my double vision to my macular degeneration specialist, I never would’ve known about the small strokes I apparently have had...and wouldn’t be taking my blood pressure three times a day, which will show my PCP exactly how serious this is.
Lakewolf, I know how important it is for your physician to give an accurate diagnosis, he needs to know the symptoms surrounding your issue. How do we get them to listen when the list may include more than what they want to listen to. Someone once told me after the first 3 symptoms, the doctor stops listening. Is that true. Also a reminder to never give a symptom as you are walking out the door. Nothing disturbs a doctor more than that, your time is up and a deaf ear is turned.
Now that the doctors use computers to chart each patient, I feel that it distracts them from what we are saying. What are your thoughts on these issues. Thanks.
Doctors (good ones) don’t stop listening, but tell them only the symptoms that concern you. Just keep a list handy if they ask you if anything else unusual is going on.
Always remember to list symptoms BEFORE the exam, and if you have any questions, ask them IMMEDIATELY AFTER the exam.
Most doctors will not respond if they’re walking out the door & you suddenly remember something.
Since medicine is now political in nature, more doctors suffer from burnout than ever before. Finding a good doctor is hard...but well worth the effort.
For example:
Because I am in a constant state of experiencing migraine aura, I am 3 times as likely to have small strokes than those who have migraines with auras less than 6 times per year.
Those who have migraines with aura (mostly women,btw) are twice as likely to experience these mini-strokes (also known as TIAs) as the general population.
If my PCP was the kind of doctor that I wish she was, she would have IMMEDIATELY remembered the link between chronic migraine with aura & TIAs, & would possibly have sent me for an MRI of the frontal skull.
That’s what a good doctor does.
Using my example, try to find a doctor who knows more about your condition than you do. A good doctor is constantly learning, if circumstances permit it.
Unfortunately, in the US (and,to a certain extent, in the UK,) “assembly-line” medicine is being practised.
Forgive the long-winded response, but on this subject, I wanted to be as accurate as possible. The takeaway is to tell your doctor your major symptoms, but keep a list of ALL unusual symptoms, and list them on the questionnaire they give you before you go in.
Thank you so much Lakewolf for your advice and insight in how to talk with your physician. I am sure there are many on the site who will take away some important information from your response. After all, it's not only about anxiety but health issues that come up from time to time. We want to make sure it's not thrown back
to "just anxiety" when it may be something of concern.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Have a good rest of the day or evening. 
I’m here to help as well as to be helped.
If I know anything that I feel you will benefit from knowing, you can count on my posting it.
Thank you Lakewolf. My responses tend to be more medical which is what caught my eye when you said you are a medical researcher. In my own little way, I've gotten where I'm at with anxiety because I have done my homework over the years. And thank you, I will be watching your posts more closely.
And i think that's another thing that triggers my anxiety, it's because my dad was diagnosed with acid reflux and gastritis instead of pancreatic cancer. So he was sent home with tylenol for pain. Until one day he decided to go to the hospital and there is when they told him about his condition. In my mind I want to think I'm ok, I even go to doctors to get checked, but then I remember about my dads situation of how he was told to be something minor and ended up with cancer. It makes me think the same thing will happen to me. I used to love the medical field, I even wanted to be a Doctor, but now I can even go to a simple check up because I get so anxious, full of fear and start crying. I dont want them to tell me they found something bad.
Hello, I’m so sorry about your dad’s passing. I’m sure he was a great dad and grandfather to your two children. I can understand why you’re feeling fearful. Just remember, that you're different from your dad. Have you tried reducing your chances of cancer by staying fit?
I too have felt the same when I lost a loved one to cancer. I grieved for a while. But, I later learned how to appreciate my life and stop speaking bad things over myself so that I could live a long, happy, and healthy life. To shut your mind of negative thoughts, you could perhaps confess to yourself things that you actually desire. Have you tried talking back to those negative thoughts? Such as, telling yourself: “I will not die,” when you have thoughts of dying young? Once again, I’m sorry about your loss… I hope that things will get better for you soon!
Hi, thank you for your response. I'm actually exercising now and changed my diet. I try so hard to change my thoughts but sometimes its impossible. I know it will take time.....
You're welcome. That's awesome! Yes, it'll take time. But you'll be okay. Keep up the good work!
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