Having a Hard Time

[JenGo]

I’m really finding it difficult to concentrate on anything but the bad stuff that’s going on in my life right now. I’m missing my 7 year old daughter so badly and my ex is refusing to answer my calls or texts. I’m so low today and I can’t get out of this hole. I feel like it’s never going to work out with my daughter and I’m so sad. Just wanted to put it out there

[fauxartist]

I am so sorry Jen...when kids are in the middle of a break up....and things don't go so well, we are in the situation here with the ex- not wanting to reciprocate financially to help raise their own kids....and it's heartbreaking....but to not get to see your daughter is un-believable that your ex- would be so cold. Even if they are with someone else, and that's painful as well I am sure....it does not mean you should not be seeing your daughter. No matter who the birth mother is, or who signed adoption papers...you and your ex- are her parents....this is the biggest problem with partners rights in a marriage to each other, child custody...and the laws need to catch up.

How new is this break up and how long has it been going on for....was the ex- severing ties here with you out of spite....do you think you would be able to have an amicable dialogue about this with a mediator?.... I mean she loved you at some point ....and you loved her...she has to have some kind of something there....

[JenGo in reply to fauxartist]

She moved out 10 months ago with someone else. She sent me separation papers 2 weeks ago but I told her that I would not sign them until we have custody established and that’s when the not seeing or talking to my daughter started. I just really don’t know what to do

[fauxartist in reply to JenGo]

Then talk to a lawyer or solicitor at any LGBT center so it will not cost so much and you have someone who understands gay rights. Get them to set up a mediator...keep your cool and pull back for a while till you get some help with this. Go see a councillor as it will help you with grief and loss and letting go of the relationship...because it will help you get back your power and get your life back. Many centers have affordable counselling available on a sliding scale.

You need to be strong and centred for this to work out. You need to believe in yourself again too....my ex- cheated on me with one of my friends....for a whole year behind my back...and then moved in with them the minute they cleared out the bank accounts and stocks...so yeah...I know the pain. I blamed myself for being so stupid....but we are not stupid....we just trusted them. But sadness and grief can turn to anger and resentment...and then it's a stalemate...we get stuck....hence...counselling to keep you moving along through all those stages....it's gonna be okay.....

[JenGo in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you so much

[fauxartist in reply to JenGo]

any time Jen.... I know what your going through is excruciating and painful... but I promise you.... you will get through this.. and you will be stronger.... please take care of yourself... and the counselling helped me lots.....glad your sharing....

[hrow]

Hi Jen! Divorce is really hard! It is hard on the spouses and very hard on the kids! All you can do is be there for your daughter. When you do get to see her enjoy your time with her and make some memories. One of the hard things with divorce is that the children get to decide who they want to spend time with and it is hard for them to be equal to both parents. I will pray for you! Divorce is so hard and if it is helpful I would suggest seeing a pastor or a counselor. A listening ear can go a long way! I will be praying for you!

H