Thank you for helping me out yesterday dear friends. You saved me from going to a hole, you saved me from hating myself, you showed me that i do have strength.
I had a good interview this morning, and feel good about the place I went to for an interview and about my answers there. I will hear from them next Tuesday, they said.
Hi Morenews.
I just read your previous post to catch up. I completely understand where you were coming from. I’ve been a Paraeducator for years and stuck at same school for past 7 years. The school is a mess and turn over for staff ridiculous. I was comfortable and that made me feel “safe,” but very unhappy. I attempted to leave that school a few times and applied at other better schools. I got interviews and job offers from the other schools and panicked over the change and turned them down. I felt foolish for seeming like I really wanted these other jobs while interviewing and then turning them down because I was too afraid to leave my toxic comfort zone. I was becoming THAT person who had the skills and want to be at another school but no courage to take that leap of faith.
Well, that changed this summer. I finally took that leap and accepted a position at a new school (same pay/hours, but much nicer school). Yesterday was my first day and though I was scared to death, I was figuring things out all on my own and impressing staff. We start seeing students tomorrow and I’m still nervous and anxiety is still looming, but I’m no longer stuck. I now realize I have options and I don’t ever have to work in misery again.
Change is extremely frightening especially if you suffer from anxiety like most of us here do. We crave and need routine, familiarity, predictability, and comfort to function. A new job challenges all these basic needs and is bound to create panic, doubt, and a need to shut down and run from the prospect. However, if we think back to any new job we’ve started (like the one I became so comfortable and “safe” with) there was a learning curve and all those challenges mentioned above to overcome to get to that comfort zone.
I’m still in my uncomfortable and self doubt stage at my new school, but I know with time I’ll acclimate and become comfortable with my new surroundings and routines. One thing I know for sure, I won’t allow myself to stay stuck in miserable toxic job ever again no matter how scared I am to leave and try something new.
You pick the job right for you. You are going to have uncomfortable feelings going into something new as it’s unpredictable and unfamiliar as you learn new routines and create a comfort zone for yourself. Don’t allow anxiety and those uncomfortable feelings to sabotage a good thing. Trust your initial gut instinct and push through those inevitable doubts and fears. You will be glad you did and you will find your comfort zone and be happy with time. That’s what I am doing at this very moment.
Keep us updated. I’m excited for you.
😊Eileen
Eileen, you said exactly things which I know ... but so eloquently and to the point. And as we know “to know” things intellectually and follow thru with it - very different things. Thank you for your very correct evaluation of my behavior and feelings and your advices.
I also wish you with all my heart to get thru this initial period in this new school and become happier and more fulfilled there.
Please let us know how you will be doing and if you need to talk and vent.
I remember your posts regarding very difficult situation with your partner, and your fear of abandonment. And you are doing such a courageous and important thing for you and your kids.
Love, peace, gratitude and a lot of respect to you!
Now that's GREAT news!! I know you feel so goooood! Treat yourself to a little something. 
Yes, will do that. Thank you
Good luck to you my friend and I hope you get the job. x
Thank you
Thank You
A Picture of my Cat to Help You Smile! 
A Letter to My Abuser 💔
